How Depression May Affect Your Life 256

Image: Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

    • Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
    • You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
    • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  • You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
  • You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
  • You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
  • You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
  • You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
  • You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
  • You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
  • You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
  • You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
  • You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.

I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.

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256 thoughts on “How Depression May Affect Your Life

  • ameyaw junior

    I dont even knw dat how i am if it is a curse or a punishment 4rom God or what bcos i hav no feeling 4 anything on dis earth again absolutely natin not even money,no relationship desire again, it pains a lot wen a friend say i want b a big bussiness man i look as if am abandoned i feel more sadness in me i pull myself in tins i use to cherish in life like watching a football match ,a movie,playing music,looks like a foolish thing to me

  • Amanda

    While I was reading this, I was checking off the mental checklist. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes to damn near everything. I can’t talk to anyone but maybe my Mom, and a friend that knows my problem. I’ve gone through two relationships cause he always says that he understands, but when I attempt to talk to him, he either cuts me off, changes the subject, or he’ll just sit there and do nothing, even when I attempt to get my emotions out. I’ve thought of suicide many times, but lately I’ve not have the energy to think of that. I attempt to do my homework, but it’s all boring to me, even if I know it. All I do is sit at my computer or lay in bed. On occasion I will ride my bike or talk to a friend or two. I’ve given up on most of my life.

  • naa

    I feel the same way described, evreyword. Ive taken so many anti-depressents with no help. ive lost all friends, no social life and the lonliness is unbearable. The only time I feel good is by self medicating with pain pills. I feel llike a loser, I have no job, nothing in life and no one understands why I cant just get past it. I want to give up.

  • alexa

    I have a daughter that’s 16 doing drugs my oldest daughter hates me. I wish this loneliness I feel would go away I call my mom she says she’s there for me. But, when I call she sounds like she don’t want to hear me. Depression pills I’m on there not helping. I am full of anxiety and fear all the time why dont it go away

  • linda

    I am 54 years old and I have suffered with depression & anxiety since my early teens. I was raised in a very dysfuctional home and both my parents were addicts – drinking and prescription drug abuse – I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 29 and had to be hospitalized. I remember it being such a relief when my illness was given a name – I didn’t cause this – it is a biological issue – our brains are wired differently – I still am under a doctors treatment and probably will be until the day I die but that’s ok – that’s what doctors are for – I am very blessed that my doctor is so open-minded and he actually lets me talk and he welcomes my suggestions for recovery – in the family department is a whole different story – I have a very very loving and supporting family but I still get the rolled eyes and the looks of “ok mom’s doing her “depression” thing – I know that i’m sometimes not pleasant to be around but I just wish I was allowed to feel the way I feel and not be so worried about what other people think. I find this and other websites so comforting because I know i’m not alone. I am a Christian and I love the Lord with all my heart & soul and I have seen Him take me from wanting to die to laying it at His feet and carrying on because He put me on this earth and it needs to be His decision when He takes me. Prayer is a wonderful thing and I also keep a journal – it helps me say what I need to and no one sees it but me- it has helped tremendously – I wish fellow mental illness warriors the best – hang in there – it does get better – do not be ashamed of getting treatment and you need to be sure you choose one that is going to work with you. peace & blessings to all <3

  • amber

    I know this is an old thread but i have all the symptoms..i feel down all the time, cant eat, i just sit in my house all day every day when im supposed to be at school, cant be bothered to wash for at least a few days at a time. No one understands and my family say im going to become agrophobic..i got forced to go out today and because i havent eaten properly in two days i felt really faint..i have tried to eat but i have no desire to eat normally and im starting to get headaches..i have no friends to speak of cos i dont bother to go to school anymore ans plus when i do i get bullied. I’m meant to be doing my yr 11 exams and wont do them because i get an intense fear of stepping into that hell hole..everyones always dissapointed in me and no one would virtually care if i died tommorow..

  • nobody

    how about no body is around you nobody seem to know you and no one wants, how about ur friends that never ask about u they always wait for u to ask about them how about most of the time u find ur self alone

  • Rosey Posey

    I am a cured patient of depression and proud to be. I still have my relapses but I am strong. A lot of those things listed did apply to me, but I have a support system better then any counseling sessions I could ask for. I have my boyfriend, my sister who loves me like I’m her mother, my parents, friends. I’m much happier now that I have a support group. I suffered with depression for over 2 years and never told anyone. That was the worst mistake I have ever done in my life. Not telling someone results in making your life even more miserable then it seems. I self-harmed, drank until I passed out, snorted crushed pills to get any kind of high, starved myself from 2 meals a day or maybe didn’t eat for an entire day.
    The first step to being happy and filing that hole of emptiness is to talk to someone. Take it from someone who has suffered from depression and has SURVIVED it and is STILL surviving it (from time to time. Not every day). -Rosey

  • Nadja


    So I’m a 16 year old girl in high school and I have every single one of these symptoms. I guess it’s been happening for a long time now but I never really talked to anyone about it, I just kind of stick to myself(probably part of the depression). I wake up every morning and just ask myself “what good am I”, “what’s the point of my existence”. It’s gotten to the point where I just don’t go to school for days on end and no one seems to be suspicious about my behavior. I’ve just accepted my depression recently(recently as in a week ago). And still see no need to seek help. I have no motivation or confidence to continue my days, I usually spend them in bed when I should be in school. I’ve started to become self conscious about my appearance, and hate myself even more. I’ve stopped eating… I feel no desire to feed a body that doesn’t want to be here. I see no light on this side and often think about leaving it. I hate feeling this way. I don’t like spending time with my family very much so I try to make it look like I’m not hiding by going in the living room just to watch tv and talk to NO ONE. Almost everything irritates me. The sound of my little brother blowing his nose, the sound of my mom asking questions all the time. I just can’t cope. And school! My school is filled with soooo many ignorant and dirty people it make my depression worse because I’m forced to go there everyday and deal with those people. How do you expect a person with this problem to deal with such ignorance?. Exactly why I stopped going. Maybe I should seek some help. I don’t feel the confidence. There’s no point to me…

  • Shakeilla

    I’ve been battling depression off & on for the past few years too. Don’t really know exactly what brings it about, but when it comes it seems to last longer than other times each time. Could be from past failures,unaccomplished goals & expectations in life, & not just really knowing where to go from the now to get to the better. ;-/ … I read a post from Amanda, & I read when you stated about taking your life if it doesn’t get better. Amanda, I want to encourage you to give it to God. He is our maker, & the only one who can see us through any and everything. There were times I felt the same way, but in my quiet times I talk to God, & trust that things will eventually get better and be okay. The devil wants to make us all give up on life by looking at where we are now, but because we can’t see where we’re going or can go we just want to give up..but DON’T!!! You will make it & things will get better for you. Just have a talk with God, give it time and you’ll see. Be blessed everyone, and know that if you feel NOone loves you… GOD does, and He cares. :-).. <3.

  • Me

    I know I might look like an atention seeker but that’s the last thing I want to achieve by posting all of my stuff for everyone to read(there’s a reason that I don’t use my name). I really just need a place or person that I can share EVERYTHING with, without the judgement that comes with it. I hope everyone gets help or finds what they are looking for wether it is more info or answers on tough questions! I wish you all the best of luck and, God bless!!!

  • Me

    I don’t think I’m depressed or at least I don’t hope so. I’m 15 and my dad past away in 2012 and afterwards everyone told me that it’s not that bad because we weren’t that close because my parents were divorced and I haven’t seen him in 6 months prior to his death. My mom even told me her first thought when she heard the news was “thank goodness”. After that our family began to have problems which ended up in a fight which led to a break up of 2 years where no one talked to or visited anyone, it was pretty bad knowing my mom was the cause of it all. Now that everything is beter my aunt organised this family reunion thing that falls on my birthday, but when I asked my. Mom wether we would go she said she didn’t want to because it will be awkward and my brother couldn’t so if I wanted to go I must go with my grandparents, so my mom would rather not be with me on my birthday than to swallow her pride and just come with. My mom suffers from major depression so maybe I can’t blame her for all the stuff I’ve gone through(she has been divorced twice, we moved 13 times in the last 11 years and we’ve gone through a financial dip 3 times but we survived everytime) we are strugeling again but this time its worse than before because it’s as if my mom just doesn’t care, she even spent the money that was intended to pay my schoolfees, I had to pay this months fees with money out of my allowance which I’m saving to pay for college. Sometimes I get these dips where I disapear into books, movies or studying and just don’t talk to anyone. Ussualy I just feel like crying all the time for no aparent reason at all so I end up crying in the shower or crying myself to sleep, and when my mom sees or hears me crying shell start to because she feels guilty ’cause of the mistakes she made and she feels like a failure so I end up comforting her instead of the other way around. Sometimes I feel like an adult all ready when I’m supposed to still be a child. I don’t have a lot of friends and the people I thought were my “best friends” have been ignoring me for an entire week now and I have no idea what I did to deserve it, nowadays I’ll just wonder around school thinking why nobody cares. I’m turning 16 in a week I’m not even having a party cause I don’t know who to invite or who’d actualy show up! I don’t think I’m depressed yet but I’m headed that way and damn fast too, but I won’t tell anyone because I’ll get sent to a shrink again and I have seen three difrent people for 4 years running after my mom’s divorces and all they always want to know is how I feel and they still never tell me what to do to get rid of this numb feeling inside.

    Wheww!! I feel so much beter, even though nobody might read this I just had to get everything of my chest and tell someone who listens, thank you so much for creating sites like these where people like me can just blow off steam…

  • Me

    All of these things are extremely scary. I’m 16 years old and don’t know if I have depression or not but I have some of these simptoms and other things that scares me for example. I gnash my teeth till my gums bleed, I get terrible headaches and stomach cramps and I want to be alone all the time I’m extremely iritable when people are around me and I cry all of the time! But among people I laugh a lot and wear this mask that shelters me from all the judgement and protects me from even more pain!!! I’m not glad that I’m not the only one that feels like this because no one deserves this 🙁

  • Emily

    I am 54 and have been affected by depression & anxiety since my early teens. I have been on several antidepressants, been hospitalized, and even tried ECT treatments. I always come out of it eventually and I have a wonderful Dr whom I trust. My frustruation comes from telling my friends and family when i’m sick. They don’t seem to take me seriously and I think they think i’m doing this for attention – I know they are worried about me and I know i’m not pleasant to be around – but what I need most right now is a shoulder to cry on – someone to talk to about how i’m feeling and some encouragement – instead they stay away and ignore me. It really hurts and makes my depression worse. Depression is a very lonely illness and I just pray that scientists can get it figured out and come up with a treatment ! I give the glory & honor to Jesus and am so thankful my Saviour watches over me..

  • noni

    As I’m writing this I’m in a dark room tears ate streaming down my face, I don’t even see a reason to live, all of the above mentioned r just me my hir is a mess I don’t even have the desire to do anything besides just sit for the hole day. I need help please

  • Julia kent

    To tell you the truth I don’t really know all about depression but I know I have it I am only 11 and I show every one of those symtoms but the one about dressing badly I can’t seem to stop getting upset about everything then nobody even listens to me I’m in counseling and have been sense I was 7 and nothing ever seems to change I don’t know what to do my mom doesn’t care or doesn’t think it’s a big deal I don’t know if this is my falt I have a twostory house and a window next to my bed and I keep thinking I wouldn’t have to feel this anymore if I just jumped out and I don’t want to feel this for the rest of my life my mom says I get “babied” and I’m more fortunate than most but I have OCD ADHD and ODD I don’t want people to keep trying to fix my life when they don’t even know or care about how I feel and know I am crying the whole time I’m on this page

  • Melissa Hendrix

    I went through all of these things and doctors gave me many types of antidepressants. One day while watching TV I saw this professor give a speech on depression and other kinds of mental issues and he talked about endorphins which is something in your brain that makes you happy. He talked about how when they leave your brain, this is what makes you sad and when you have negative thoughts, more leave your brain. He also talked about laughter, which puts endorphins into your brain. He said that laughter is medicine going into the brain. When I got to thinking about it and did not feel like I wanted to feel depressed anymore. I called a couple of friends and made plans to go to the Comedy club which took everything I got to even make the calls and plan it. I went and it a few of the comedians jokes and stories but finally cracked a laugh…..and laughed again. I found that the professor was right and it worked!!!!!! I am not on meds anymore, no numbness and most of all….no more depression. I’m enjoying life now to its fullest and thought I would kill myself before I ever enjoyed anything EVER again! My life has changed so much and I actually found a craft…etching glass and mirrors and I make money from it to go places and enjoy getting out. It was the greatest thing in the world and I thank that professor at that moment for coming on the TV at a time when I needed it the most. I wanted to share this with each and everyone of you because I know the pain of having nobody there or being told to snap out of it or quit making excuses or get off the pity pot because unless you have walked a mile in our shoes….you will never know or understand that it is none of these!

  • Someone

    I feel sad every second of the day but I dont have suicidal thoughts. I have made mistakes and made decisions in my short life and just wish I could go back just a few months and do it over. Whenever someone I love tries to hug me or even say that they love me, I just can not do the same for them. I have never felt depression because I didnt know what it was till now. My family is having a lot of trouble at the moment and I feel loke this is why im feeling so sad. I have moved countries just because I thought it would be a good change, new school, new people… No this was not what I thought it would be like. I hate it here I wish I could go back, I miss everything and everyone. I know teenagers like me have gone through the same thing but may have taken it a lot better than I have. I play games just so I can think of something else. Like right now I have to get up in 4 hours for school but I dont even know if I want to leave my room let alone going to school. This new school is hard for me qnd changing my lifestyle for it is killing me by its self. Im sorry to go on and on about this btw but I needed to say it somewhere I didnt know where else to do so. To all the people who are suffering from depression, stay strong, keep your family close and let them help you even if they feel like they are annoying the heck out of you just let them help because they are feeling bad because they feel like they cant do anything. Love is a big thing you need during depression and I hope one day I will be able to go home and live the rest of my life happy. Thank you reading this and sorry if it makes no sense and I wasted your time