How Depression May Affect Your Life

Image: Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

    • Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
    • You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
    • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  • You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
  • You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
  • You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
  • You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
  • You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
  • You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
  • You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
  • You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
  • You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
  • You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.

I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.


256 thoughts on “How Depression May Affect Your Life

    • I feel like I’ve constantly got some think wrong with me. I’m always tired can’t do anythink n I’ve been on citapram I was on them for 8months just recently come off them cause I thought they was giving me headaches I just don’t know what more to do

      • Chantelle I have been taken off citalopram 40mg for one month now, I was on them 9 years. I was wondering if you can relate to any of this….. I can’t be away from my parents as I’m frightened, I can’t bath or shower it takes too much effort, I can’t tidy my room or make conversation, I am terrified of life. I’m in constant pain

        • I’m in the very same boat as you.all of what you said is true in my life right now…will it ever end?

  1. i think depression is the worst thing you can have..people dont
    understand what the pain is like they just say laugh and it goes
    away.when you have a depression you just want to be like before u dont
    evan remeber how it used to be when you were normal.

    • I do that all the time think back to the good days i so wish i could get it back

  2. I dont want to tell my parents I’m depressed but I need help. I know
    it will turn into a fight like everything else does. I just dont want
    to deal with that, but I want to go to therapy or get medication or
    something to make the numb go away.

  3. i think i may have it but theres no way i could or would allow
    myself to let this win, my advice is to just stand up and fight back
    when it attacks and never give up………..ever

  4. I think I have depression. I’ve looked it up and I have more than
    half of the symptoms. I am a fourteen year old girl and I have no one to
    talk to about this. I can’t even ask my mom for a counselor. I think
    about suicide often. I drink anytime I get the chance because it’s my
    escape. I read books so I can escape reality and put myself in the
    characters position. I always go for walks and go as far from home as I
    can and don’t come back for hours… no one notices. I do this because I
    heard a quote once… “some times you have to run away just to see who
    cares enough to come after you.” …but no one ever does. I do think this
    world would be better without me. All I ever do is hurt other people in
    some way. I need help but I don’t know where to find it.

  5. I dont know how to say this sametimes u cant explain how u feel its
    not a nice feeling just feeling down sad and want to cry how can u let
    go help me please cant take it

  6. I am comforted, to some degree, knowing others feel this way too. I
    also feel so low, so desparate. I am normally a very positive person
    and continue to put on this front around others. This seems to make it
    all the worse when I am alone because I feel like I am a fraud. I am
    also waking up to a deep “ache” in my gut that just wont go away. And I
    have no appetite. Have lost 35 pounds in four months. Ordinarily I
    would have been thrilled to loose this weight. I gained this weight from
    stress at work. But, for some reason I just don’t care.

  7. The worst thing for me is reading this list of symptoms, finding
    that it corresponds with my life, and not knowing whether it is just my
    subconscious trying to convince me that I’m depressed when I’m not. I’m
    afraid that others won’t take me seriously and will only see me as an
    attention-seeker. I can’t tell anyone.

  8. i am so utterly alone and empty, depressed isnt really the right
    word to describe me . i am 38 yrs old. i dont have a job and i havent
    had one in over 8 yrs. i have no friends and i live with my parents. i
    have never had a relationship with a woman, i have only had sex 3 times.
    and not at all in 17 yrs. i cant describe the emptiness and
    hopelessness i constantly feel. can somebody please help me? ive been
    like this for so long, so much pain, please help me.

    • Can you get yourself to your doctors, can you talk to your parents about things or ask one of them to make a doctors appointment for you. You might find it one of the hardest things to do at the moment, but try to summon every bit of your strength to do it, as it’s the first step to getting help and be honest with your doctor and tell them everything you have just said. You deserve a better life!

    • I hurt for you. I am 67 and have been dealing with depression My whole life. May life begin to be gentle with you.

    • By reading all these postings it shows You Are Not Alone! First step, go to see your doctor and explain to them exactly how you feel. If you can’t talk to them about it, write them a note and hand it to them. You are equal to every human on the planet.

  9. If you feel this way, get help..Don’t wait.
    I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Even when I got suicidal I didn’t
    really feel it was wrong..Well, I attempted suicide and it was wrong for
    me to do it..and no one who was home tried to get help when it was
    discovered..I have the liver failure now to show for it..and guess what,
    i would have been better off if I had read the above..I did everything
    there and more. Whatever you do, don’t expect anyone to help you at all
    or even realize that you need help..They won’t. My family didn’t do
    anything at all except complain..and this was not a routine or normal
    way for me to live—this hit in 8 months..I’m still depressed and unable
    to take medications due to the damage..Please get help for
    yourself—don’t let your life slip away…

  10. I feel inferior to everyone. I get weird perverted thoughts. I
    trust n.o one and think I am in the devils world. all my friends are
    dead and I want to be with them. I have no feelings, I observe my
    world but feel nothing. When my mother tells me that she loves me; i do
    not believe her. love for me is only a word; I can never feel it. My
    intellect can state all I should be thankful about and be thankful.. but
    I cannot feel glad or happy I know death will come but why wait??

  11. im 18 and A couple of months ago I found out that my aunt is my biological mom.i was living with her and then moved in with my dad cause it didn’t seem right at my aunts house. Ever since then I eat all the time even tho I’m full I just keep eating. I don’t want to do anything anymore. It’s a huge task just to get a shower. I cry all the time but when people are around I hold it back so they think nothing is wrong. I don’t go anywhere. I just Sit at home and watch tv or I’m on the computer. I can’t sleep at night. I’ll stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning fall asleep and don’t get up till around 3 in the afternoon. They want to help me but I just brush it off cause i don’t want to think something wrong. I just want my life the way it was…normal. I miss my friends and being happy. Does this mean I’m depressd?

  12. i feel i have been somewhat depressed for about a year now but now its really bad that my longtime “friends” started a horrible rumor about me and constantly talk about me behind my back the only thing that has kept me alive is my family. much love to everyone seek hope

  13. A few months ago I became what could be called enlightened where you basically unlock your mind at first I felt on top of the world it was amazing but the more and more I thought into things I couldnt think what actualy makes me happy not properly happy somethings are just slightly satisfying and eventually it just led to the thought that if nothing makes me happy what’s the point! I’ve been avoiding labeling myself as depressed even tho I clearly am I used to be way happier than most people and I still help other people and my friends love me which is probably what irritates me about them I wish I could be selfish but I’m just too nice. I’m trying to channel all this into creativity it’s just hard to focus on things but I want to ask this one thing to you all do you feel for more intelligent compared to everyone else and unapreashated because of it? X

  14. every thing on the list relates to me, i have no friends, the ones i do have i avoid meeting.. I rarely go out, i hate seeing positive old school friends who are in uni and driving and living in there own houses, just makes me feel much worse, i dont work have no motivation to find work, dont get up b4 1pm most days and cant sleep at night.. I have no motivation, nothing to look forward to, nothing no plans, how depressing! Hope we all feel better soon! Xx

  15. why did god create me? a question that always come to my mind. i am angry all the time about stupid stuff, anger is divided upon the ones that i know & the ones that i don’t!. i runaway playing video games.. watching TV… i do not believe in love. i hate myself. . i ask myself why do some people still care about me i don’t think i deserve caring. and sometimes i feel its a lye no one really cares. materials do not satisfy me anymore. suicide comes to my mind even though i know i am not brave enough to do it. surely when i die the world will be a better place and every one will be better off especially the people closest to me. every one is fake including myself. i hate the society because its wrong. i hate my beard and i hate shaving it. when i see people smiling i always assume they are faking it. i rarely drink but when i do i cant stop.when i drink i always say hurting words. i hate waking up and i hate going to sleep.

  16. i feel so alone in life. I have the ability to help anyone with almost anything. have it be about friends, family, love, pain, or happiness..i don’t understand this. when i was 11 years old, a friend of mine-my best friend-died. His mother murdered both him, and his sister, along with commuting suicide. I still remember the next day at school. Everyone who knew this young boy was in the library. everyone was crying. i was in a group of 7 including myself. we were all like family, and actually we still kind of are. yes, we have grown apart significantly, but im sure we all have each others back’s if worse comes to worse. But anyway, all of my friends in this group were crying so hard; crying at the loss of their best friend. I did not cry..the thought didn’t even occur to me. i could think of one thing, and one thing those whom i care about the most. so i did. i hugged them, and looked all of them straight in the eyes, and told them life is hard now, and this pain will never be forgotten, yet it will will get easier. And it has. I have rarely shed tears since that day. Although i am still young, i have knowledge beyond that of anyone else i know-be it older or younger. I guess the main point of telling this story, was to say: i do not understand why i can make anyone feel so much better yet, no one can make me one can make me feel better about this..THING, called life..i just need someone to hug, and and say to me the same thing i said so many years ago.. not crying is not something to praise or wish for; not crying is a me…please..

  17. Hi People ,

    Well have been despressed on and off for about 7 years now .

    I used to be on top of my game had a wife great looks good job and a couple of homes . We lived in England but now she lives in Canada with my little girl..:(

    Now I’m still in England homeless no job and in debt up to my eye bulls ££££££ ..

    I’m a manic and when on a high can just be out of control spending money like its paper ….

    I just fill like I’m burden on everyone ….My brain does not work anymore…In the morning I’m so low just want to stop living ….But don’t do it because I want to me daughter again …Just got my visa today and hoping to over and see them ….But no one knows how bad I have been in the last 1.5 years ….in the last two years I have moved 17 times and in total 37 times we had moved …..

    Just hope know one ends up like me I have know friends moved around to much …..

    Not that great at writing things down this has take me a 45 mins ….

    Have to get on flight soon next week … But hate flying as well now ……..


  18. I just came back two days ago from an eagerly anticipated week long holiday that me and a female friend had been looking forward to for months. I hate my job, I hate the rat race of full time work, I live in a sharehouse with 2 couples. Being single this doesn’t bother me, I think.

    On my trip I would mostly think about how quickly it would end and having to come home to all this. Even on the second day there. By the end it seemed like my friend who was the most easy going, caring person appeared to be sick of me. We haven’t spoken to each other since we got back.

    On top of that I came home to find my bedroom had been used as a storage room, they were moving furniture and decided to put stuff in there and leave it there. I’d also said that if people were over they could stay in my room, but what I also found was underwear on my side draw, two half full glasses (one of which was broken) and a whole lot of other stuff just left there. I just felt it was a rotten thing to come home to. Before I left I was really happy here, now I’m thinking I should leave and get my own place or something where people won’t bother me like this.

    I don’t want to talk to friends. I was annoyed that some people didn’t care how my trip was going when I would get in contact with them from up there.

    I feel like there is nothing to really convince me that any of my current friends will be friends for years to come. And that I’ll always be a wanderer.

    The up and down thing is getting to me so much. I was so happy the week before I left and now I feel so incredibly crappy.

    I don’t want a relationship, my last one screwed with my head too much and I just want to be selfish.

    I don’t want to take risks.

  19. Almost all of these are true for me also. I don’t have any friends, my family is small and we rarely ever get along (there is always drama!!). My mom and I dont really get along as much as we used to (we used to be each other’s shadow). Unfortunately, I was molested by my “step-dad” for 6-7 years when I was younger and kept quiet about it until about 3 years after he unexpectedly passed away (I only confessed that to 4 people though). I have guilt everyday in my mind about the biggest and even smallest things. I complain all the time. But yet, when my boyfriend of 1 1/2 wants to do something with me, I don’t ever want to. I don’t like hanging out anymore because I care way too much about what people think about me. I don’t have any changes with food, but I do have sleeping problems a lot. I don’t think about suicide, but I do think about my funeral often. (wondering who would even care to be there when I pass). I get daily headaches. I cry all the time, I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I dont even have to have a reason why when I cry. It’s uncontrollable sometimes. I never think I’m good enough. I am very self concious about the way I look, even my personality as well. I think I’m a boring person, and I am no fun to be around. I get annoyed by people very, very easily. I would rather be around animals all day than to be in the company of people. I am afraid all the time of my boyfriend leaving for someone better than me, I know he has to hate the way I am sometimes. I never keep a job for long, somehow I come home even more depressed than before I got it, and when I am unemployed I am depressed about not having a job! I don’t know my purpose here.

  20. Im 13, i honestly don’t know if im depressed. I have symptoms more than half of them. But all i really want to do is talk to someone about this situation. Im starting to find it hard to cope in school, and with all my work. My family really really annoy me sometimes and all i can ever do is just go up to my room and be on my own.. Im so grumpy and cheeky towards my little brother he always asks ”why are you up here on your own” i would always shout at him and say go away.

    I dont know whats wrong with me. but i feel worthless and hopeless its like no one appreciates me…… i feel like shit.. and i feel like i cant talk to anyone in confidence. i cant keep it to myself…,, I guess i have no choice

  21. What bugs me is when i tell my friend i was depressed at a certain time (and still am) she says “really, you seemed pretty happy to me”, i don’t understand how i seemed happy when i was just barely hanging on, i had lost my job, lost contact with friends, relationship was breaking down, i don’t go out anymore and suffering agoraphobia and bad anxiety, yes i have bouts where i am feeling more hopeful but then since the situation isn’t getting better i keep drifting in and out of it, it never goes and nothings changed much either but everyone seems to think after 5 year is must have, so i’m still depressed, home most of the time, i leave the house only ’cause i have to or when i have to. Can’t people realise that what they see is not the way it is, if i acted how i felt they would never speak to me again. No one thinks i’m depressed but my councellor has dianosed me with Panic Disorder, Depression, Agoraphobia and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, how could i not be depressed when dealing with this and living with parents that don’t mind if i don’t get better ’cause then i’m the live in cleaner, carer for when they get too old and will be doing everything for them since i am the only one living at home, i have siblings but they never offer to help me get through this, they’re having too much for to be bothered in anything other than their own lives. This really is the only reason i push myself to get better, though with lack of sleep i keep getting sick and can’t even do the stuff to get better, it’s an endless cycle, i’m getting all the help i need but feel everyone else wouldn’t care if i wasn’t ’cause they wouldn’t have to help me get there. No chance of getting a relationship either after breaking up with a guy because he didn’t want to admit the problems we had was what was causing this and had to change for things to get better. Sorry for the rant but that’s the reality for me i just hope it’s not many more years of this.

  22. i thought my life was normal. it is when i’m not at home..i love being with my friends and my boyfriend, i love being at school, i’m 14 years old and everything is just getting too me, i am constantly tired no matter how much sleep ive had, i cant be bother to laugh, i just sit here and cry about everything, i cant stand my family, but they just dont understand the pain im going trough, im too scared to tell them, i know im deppresed! everyone at school always says to me ‘are you ok? you look sas/upsted/pissed off’. i would do anything to escape this pain. i feel like no one listens to me or wants me around, i cry when im home alone and do nothing education is going down the drain because i can not be bother do pick up a pen, i live too far away from my boyfriend and friends i have to get lifts everywhere.i just want everything to be perfect but it seems it never will:/ i’d give anything. i just want my life back and not panick about EVERYTHING i have lost the energy to cry and i just lie on the floor for hours and don’t move, i have told no one about this, no body knows..eccept me. if you are going through the pain i am, keep smilling, every time you want to cry dont. just forget about it, go out and have a laugh with your mates, its horrible to be depressed i know. but dont give up, you are loved no matter how much your head is telling you your that your not, fight your depression, before it takes over you. :/

  23. My depression started years ago @ 27 with SLEEPING problems, then came anxiety, loss of appetite-panic attacks… until I committed myself. I was great for years on the right anti-depressants-sedatives & weight gaining, I might add but this past year until present is awful. I’m on so much sleeping medication and the only thing that helps along with my anti-depressants at high doses is klonopin. Is anyone else feeling so tired they can’t function? and absent minded. I literally lost my job due to tiredness, concentration and so forth. When I think things start to stabilize now that I’m unemployed I will all of a sudden get these episodes of extreme tired flu like tiredness-no coffee or caffeine brings you out of it. Sometimes it lasts for a couple days and sometimes 7 days, at least so far. What is wrong w/ me? I had all blood tests and everything is normal but I’m NOT normal. Does anyone else have the sleeping issues and episodes of extreme fatique Sickness like, they barely function, sensitive to light? Thanks for listening. Thank you, Dyan

  24. I recently admitted to myself that I might have depression, so I looked for help with the counselor at my university. I’ve only had one meeting so far, but it’s helped tremendously. I don’t know if I want to take medications, because I’m afraid of the side-effects and the fact that medications aren’t natural, but I keep leaning towards taking them because I don’t want to feel this anymore. I don’t know if my friends understand, and I haven’t told my family, but… I’m doing this for me now and no one else. Seek help, for anyone who reads this and feels the same way. Please, seek help. Ignore that nasty voice in your head and the empty hole in your heart and just GO seek help. It will get better. 🙂