Depression and Self-Care

What to Do During the First Two Weeks You’re Waiting for Your Antidepressants to Kick In or How to do self-care with major depression

The key words here are indulge yourself. Listen, you’re having enough trouble getting out of bed every day and going to work or school. You don’t need to push yourself. Think of yourself as an invalid recuperating from a very debilitating illness. You have to pamper yourself, body and spirit. This page is therefore all about “cocooning”, that is, wrapping yourself up in layers of comfort to protect yourself.

By the way, don’t let anyone convince you that you should be thinking happy thoughts or “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps”. That will come later. Right now you could get happy about slugging anyone who tells you to be happy, right? (Or, possibly, someone who even has a sunny disposition.) Maybe you can point them here and here.

Okay, gather up whatever energy you have, and see what interests you below:

Music

Image: My Room at Beau Rivage by Henri Matisse
My Room at Beau Rivage by Henri Matisse

I find that classical music is good for what you’re feeling right now. These selections are some of my favorites for expressing the depths of depression:

Food and Cooking

  • How to Feed Yourself When You’re Depressed is a really helpful article that ranks the feasibility of preparing different dishes by the level of depression you’re experiencing.
  • Comfort food is what’s on the menu now. Calorie counting will come when you have a little more motivation and a little less depression. Two of my favorite comfort food dishes are welsh rarebit and red beans and rice. And of course, there’s grilled cheese.
  • Tea is a wonderful emotional panacea. I don’t have any medical findings on this, but it’s a fact as far as I’m concerned, so while you brew up a pot, look at UK Tea & Infusions, David Rio or Tealuxe. Peet’s Tea is my favorite. It’s on the West Coast, for the most part, but you can buy it online.
  • If you’re having trouble sleeping, warm milk might help. Although warm milk as a sleep-inducer has been debunked, I find it helps. It may be psychological, or it may be having something warm in your stomach. There are some slightly fancy recipes, but the base of all of them is warm milk with a teaspoon of honey.

Your Body

Image: The Bedroom by Vincent Van Gogh

Here’s where some of the real pampering comes in. These suggestions all are good for men as well as women; men, don’t be afraid to try some things that you may have thought were just for women. Pampering is not gender-specific.

  • If you can afford it, a visit to a day spa is in order. Spas and salons are soothing places set up for the sole purpose of pampering you. My favorite is a day with a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure and maybe an aromatherapy scalp massage.
  • Get a professional massage. Really! Non-sexual touching is just what the doctor ordered. Make an appointment for a full-body massage. If you’re feeling uncomfortable about anyone seeing you nude (you will be covered by a sheet or towel), start off by having a neck and shoulder massage or foot reflexology.
  • If you can’t afford a visit to a spa, re-create some of the elements of a spa at home. Play some soothing New Age music, light scented candles or get a potpourri burner. Treat yourself to a bath scented with fragrant oils. Kneipp bath oils are one of my favorites.
  • You might want to read Water Magic: Healing Bath Recipes for the Body, Spirit and Soul, which has recipes for baths. Here are two recipes from The Scented Bath, a previous book written by Maribeth Riggs which is now out of print, although you might be able to find it on Amazon.
  • The Royal Treatment, The Herbal Home Spa, Organic Body Care Recipes, and Secrets of the Spas: Pamper and Vitalize Yourself at Home are all books I’ve used that tell you how to create spa treatments at home, with recipes. Go here or here for tips on creating your own spa experience at home. The Royal Treatment is hard to find now, but you might be able to pick up a used copy.
  • Look into aromatherapy, an alternative way to treat the mind and body with essential oils. Clary sage is good for depression, fatigue, lavender is calming and soothing, neroli is a sedative and anti-depressant. Most essential oils can be found at your local health-food store or online. Note: None of the essential oil anti-depressants should be used as a replacement for your prescribed medication.

Socializing

  • My suggestion is: stay away from large groups. I look back with horror on a wedding reception that I attended while in the throes of depression. Only because the bride was a dear friend did I manage to stay half an hour before fleeing. Limit your socializing to small groups of friends who at least will try to understand what you’re dealing with. To help them, have them read Best Things to Say to Someone Who is Depressed and Worst Things to Say to Someone Who is Depressed.
  • Don’t cut yourself off from the world completely, though. Just being out and around other people is essential. I know you want to stay at your home base and hibernate, but try to get out to some low-key (as far as social interaction) places like coffee shops, libraries, museums, etc. You barely have to talk to anyone, but you’re still part of humanity.

Escapism

Your own life is just too painful right now, so you need some entertaining diversions. However, they can’t be too demanding intellectually or too depressing. This is not the time to be watching Ingmar Bergman movies, for example. What you need right now is escapism.

  • If you’re into Dungeons and Dragons and/or RPGs, give a listen to the Critical Role podcast, in which a group of voice actors play D&D campaigns.
  • Vicoriocity is another podcast, funny and well-acted, about a murder set in 1887 Greater London.
  • Fallen London is a browser game that takes place in a version of Victorian London that has sunk below ground.
  • Text adventure games, or Interactive Fiction, are not as dead as you may think, despite the emphasis on flash and graphics in games today. The Lurking Horror and the Zork games are among the text adventures I would recommend. You can buy them for a few dollars here or play them online here. You probably want to read my article about interactive fiction first. Here’s a list of recommended games.
  • A fantastic computer adventure game that is quite a few years old is The Longest Journey. The storyline and characters are superior to what you normally find in games. If you get stuck, try using the Universal Hint System. Instead of outright answers, you are given hints, although if you persist, you can get the explicit answers. The hints can give your brain a nudge without spoiling the game.
  • The Company Therapist is a cyber-soap based on a fictitious therapist’s files. Or you could try to Survive Dickens’ London.

Reading

Maid with the Golden Hair by Frederic Lord Leighton
  • Read romance novels. There’s a great list of quality romances here. Regency novels are my favorites; they transport you back to the time when the only thing a person had to worry about was finding an eligible person to marry, and being a success in society. Don’t miss the web page for the grande dame of Regencies, Jane Austen. Georgette Heyer is the best contemporary author of regency romances. Try The Romance Reader for ideas on what to read. Two good Regency videos are Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow and Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson. My all-time favorite Regency video is A&E’s six-hour version of Pride and Prejudice.
  • Retreat to another world in a good fantasy book. Urban Fantasy is a genre that’s exploded in the past few years. One excellent series is Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files. Another is Kim Harrison’s The Hollows Series, with titles inspired by Clint Eastwood movies, like Dead Witch Walking. Simon Green’s Nightside Series is original and creepy. Tad Williams, David Eddings, Robin Hobb and Carol Berg write more traditional fantasy. The Feminist Science Fiction, Fantasy and Utopia page is a reference guide to works of such authors as Marion Zimmer Bradley, Ursula K. Le Guin and Suzy McKee Charnas.
  • If you’re into mysteries, MysteryNet.com should be right up your alley. The webmaster of The Cozy Mystery List website has a post attempting to define cozy mysteries, which have exploded in popularity in the last decade or so.

Warm and Fuzzy

Middle Two Weeks
Last Two Weeks

11 Comments

  • Letty

    I’ve suffered with depression & anxiety for 22 yrs. Had my dosage increased 3 days ago and just waiting for the day it kicks in.This site gives me comfort that I’m not alone. Thanks.

  • Sarah

    Thank you so, so much for this. I honestly teared up reading the beginning, saying I should indulge myself. As anyone with depression can relate, I’ve been feeling so much guilt over a multitude of things, and reading that – and this whole article – makes me feel a bit better. Just started antidepressants today, so I will be coming back to this page often.

  • Shela Feliciano

    Thank you for this website. I have struggles with depression all of my life and at 46 have just started new meds and am having a hard time. This website is so hopeful, it gives me hope to wait on the meds to work. Sometimes its nice to know that although you FEEL all alone, you are not. And that there are people out there who understand where you are.

  • sonia

    What a great website! !! Have been on new meds for 3 days and just feel yukky with a couple of side effects. Do reading this article was excellent to just take time to let my body and mind work through adjusting to medication. THANK YOU !!!!☺☺

  • daisy

    Thank-you,you must be a very kind and compassionate person to have created this website ,heart warming .I’ve suffered with depression since I was a teenager , and at 44 its still a problem ,I try to be kind to myself and think this too will pass .

    • Laura Dias

      Theres NOT a lot of resources for this In Between time. As long as you pass the “Not harmful” question, they just send you on your way to do the brutal waiting period alone. Im (barely) doing it now…today…

  • Horror Movie Medication

    I suffer from clinical depression. The scary kind of depression. In addition to seeking professional help, I have also discovered a coping mechanism for myself. Horror Movies. I they are great. I even made a whole blog dedicated to the horror movies I watch trying to drowned out my blues. I go into a little more of my reasoning here:
    http://horrormoviemedication.blogspot.com/2013/02/why-horror-helps.html
    check it out if you have the time.

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