I used to drive my ex-husband crazy. Actually, I think what used to drive him crazy was my Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I'm not sure what else about me drove him crazy, but that was definitely an irritant.

I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years after my first marriage broke up, so at the time, although I was beginning to realize that I had a short attention span and could be hyperactive, I didn't know why. My ex (who did not have ADHD) and I both had computers and would often be sitting side by side working or playing a game or whatever. But I had always had either laundry, tidying up and cleaning to do, so I usually didn't stay in my chair very long. I'd jump up after fifteen or twenty minutes at the computer and put a load of laundry in. Then I'd sit down for another fifteen or twenty minutes, until I felt the need to get up and do some dishes or pick up the apartment. My ex-husband, during this time, would not have moved. One day he roared at me, "Can't you just sit down for longer than five minutes?!" Well, yes, actually. I was sitting down longer than that, but to him it seemed like I was up and down like a jack-in-the-box.

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Posted: Feb 03, 2010

tags: add, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

I used to drive my ex-husband crazy. Actually, I think what used to drive him crazy was my Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I'm not sure what else about me drove him crazy, but that was definitely an irritant.

I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years after my first marriage broke up, so at the time, although I was beginning to realize that I had a short attention span and could be hyperactive, I didn't know why. My ex (who did not have ADHD) and I both had computers and would often be sitting side by side working or playing a game or whatever. But I had always had either laundry, tidying up and cleaning to do, so I usually didn't stay in my chair very long. I'd jump up after fifteen or twenty minutes at the computer and put a load of laundry in. Then I'd sit down for another fifteen or twenty minutes, until I felt the need to get up and do some dishes or pick up the apartment. My ex-husband, during this time, would not have moved. One day he roared at me, "Can't you just sit down for longer than five minutes?!" Well, yes, actually. I was sitting down longer than that, but to him it seemed like I was up and down like a jack-in-the-box.

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Posted: Feb 01, 2010

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

Is there a bigger challenge for someone with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder than the holidays? So many things to keep track of, so many things to accomplish - all of them with a deadline. After planning twenty-five or so holiday seasons, I've come up with some strategies, and also know where some of the potential pitfalls for someone with ADHD are at this time of the year.

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Posted: Dec 09, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, holidays

I worked in retail sales for over three years, all of them spent in stores in large shopping malls. The first store I worked in, Victoria's Secret, was in a beautiful mall in Boston called Copley Place. Everything about the mall was soothing - the peach marble interior, the low lighting, the waterfall and the softly playing classical music. The stores were all high end, like the beautiful Brentano's bookstore with its many art books. At Christmas time white lights decorated the mall tastefully. Something about the way the mall was built kept it from being too loud, and the foot traffic, while healthy, wasn't overwhelming. I loved my job, and despite the long hours, I never felt tired.

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Posted: Dec 09, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, holidays

I just called the supervisor at the camp my son's attending this week, to let him know that my parents were going to pick Lawrence up tomorrow. I couldn't remember if they were on the emergency form or not. "I'll check on that when we get back from Berkeley Ironworks," he said. I knew they had a field trip planned (it's a climbing gym) but I had assumed they were doing it in the morning. It's now almost 2:30. And Lawrence had a 5:15 doctor's appointment. Oh, crud, I thought. "When are you all going to be back?" I said. "Probably between 5:30 and 6:00." Double crud. "Um, Lawrence has a 5:15 doctor's appointment." Brad said, "Why don't you pick him up at the Ironworks? It's pretty easy to find." "Uh," I said, "maybe I'll cancel the doctor's appointment." Of course I realized that we would be charged a fee for canceling at the last minute, but I was panicking. "Are you sure?" Brad said doubtfully. "Um, um...no, you're right, I'll pick him up at the Ironworks."

I got off the phone thinking, "He must think I'm a complete nutcase."

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Posted: Nov 23, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

About ten years ago, I went to a craft fair with my parents. My parents go to the type of craft fairs that have handwoven coats and custom made wood furniture. I fell in love with some custom-made leather boots. They created a mold for your feet and lower legs and made the boots from that. They cost $500 (I got the sterling silver buttons). They were definitely worth the price, but for me that was about half a month's pay. I hyperventilated the whole way home and tried to figure out how I was going to break it to my husband.

We ADHD-ers can be somewhat impulsive. In many situations it's an endearing and even desirable quality. When it comes to spending money, not so much. Around the holidays this is particularly difficult. After all, we're prone to impulses and we have to shop. Plus, it's often easier to justify buying something when it's a gift. So at this time of year it's "Danger, Will Robinson!" All those nice, shiny things beckoning to us. Before we know it we're at the register and handing over our money. And even when we make a good purchase and can afford it, sometimes we still feel badly because we didn't buy it after carefully considering the purchase, or at least counting to ten.

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Posted: Nov 16, 2009

tags: add, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

I know, I know, it's a total writer's cliche, but I procrastinated when I really should have been writing this SharePost. I played Lord of the Rings Online for half an hour, using the excuse that since my son and husband were watching tv, I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway. When the tv went off, I stared at the screen for thirty seconds, and then remembered that I really needed to put a load of laundry in. Granted, I really did need to do laundry, but for some reason that didn't occur to me when I was playing LOTRO.

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Posted: Oct 14, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

I'm in a meeting at work (actually, a presentation) and I'm noting, as usual, how still most people (okay, pretty much everyone in the room) are compared to me. The word "still" rarely applies to me, but it's most noticeable in situations like this. I shift position, jiggle my knee, twirl a lock of hair, pick at my nails.

I look around the room. Most of the attendees are sitting with their hands folded, either in their lap or on the table. Okay, I'll try that. I fold my hands on my writing pad.

Just sitting here. Calmly.
Calm.
Calm.
Less calm.
Less and less calm.
Feeling hyper.

Okay, how long did I last? Maybe a minute, tops. Crud. I just can't do it. How do other people manage? They look so still and peaceful. I'm envious.

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Posted: Oct 12, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

As I mentioned in a previous SharePost, I tend to collect paper into piles. I wish it was just paper that ended up that way, but unfortunately, that's not the case. Let's take a tour of the house I share with my son and husband.

Living room - there's a pile behind my desk chair. I'm not sure what it is. I think it's a combination of books I've had to look at recently and my son's drawings. I can't decide what to do with the drawings. They're the ones he does in afterschool daycare, and since no one helps him like they did in preschool, these are not anything special. Of course, they're special because he does them, but are they worth keeping? Since I can't decide what to do with them, they accumulate.

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Posted: Sep 28, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

I'm reading "Green Eggs and Ham" to my son Lawrence before bed. Actually, he's reading it to me, which is very exciting. He's doing really well. I only have to help him with about one word out of ten. I read way ahead of my level when I was his age, and it seems that he's going to be just as good.

The thing I'm noticing, though, is that while he's reading, he's wiggling around on the bed, almost falling off sometimes, although his eyes are fixed on the book. Come to think of it, he does this when we're going over flash cards at the dining table, wiggling around on the chair. He also, which I've never seen in another kid, jumps up and down in place when he's playing a video game, usually when he's at a part that's particularly difficult.

It dawns on me that this is probably why his kindergarten teacher told us about bodily-kinesthetic intelligence when we were discussing Lawrence's problems sitting still in class.

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Posted: Sep 10, 2009

tags: add, add and parenting, adhd, adhd and children, adhd and parenting, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, kinesthetic intelligence

I'm looking at my desk at work, trying to figure out what to do with this sea of paper that is covering every one of the three counters that make up my cube in the Office of the Registrar at UC Berkeley. I have a pretty large cube, and as usual the paper has expanded to fill the space allotted to it. Through the day, I'll scratch out a little space on a counter for eating or doing work. It's definitely not an ideal situation, and let's face it, it's of my own making.

One of my co-workers has an unbelievably organized desk. I'm not sure where everything goes. She doesn't have any more file drawers than I do, and she actually has fewer file folders than I do. I envy her, I really do. I wish I knew how she did it.

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Posted: Sep 02, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

As a card-carrying computer geek, I've been playing what are known as computer role-playing games (CRPGs) for close to twenty years. I'll try not to bore you with too many details, but basically the structure of these games consists of gaining experience for your character by doing battle and completing quests for non player (computer generated) characters. Since the internet really started going in the 1990s, I've also been playing online computer role playing games. Since you're playing with many other players (real life players), the experience is much more social, and more competitive to some extent.

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Posted: Aug 07, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, gaming, world of warcraft

As I said in my previous SharePost, my son's kindergarten teacher recommended that we have him evaluated by a pediatric psychiatrist because of what I'll call behavioral problems, for the sake of a better term. Basically, he was having trouble sitting still and keeping quiet in class. We weren't too surprised to hear what his teacher had to say. He runs everywhere in our house and frequently blows off steam by hurling himself on the couch or doing somersaults.

While I knew it was a good idea to get him evaluated, I had some trepidation. According to reviews on a local mailing list I belong to, the only doctor in our network tends to see Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder everywhere. If we go outside our network, diagnosis and treatment could cost thousands of dollars, which we don't have. So I made an appointment with the doctor and hoped for the best. His office sent out a form for Lawrence's kindergarten teacher to fill out. Bless her heart, she came over the night before the appointment, after the school year had ended, to go over it with us.

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Note: I published these posts in the wrong order on the HealthCentral site. I apologize for any confusion.

Posted: Jul 29, 2009

tags: add, add and parenting, adhd, adhd and children, adhd and parenting, adhd medication, adhd treatment, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder treatment

Around January this year, my husband and I got the dreaded summons from our son's kindergarten teacher to meet with her about a problem with Lawrence. It was not a complete surprise - she had told us that she had some concerns. Lawrence was having some mild behavioral problems, in that he was having trouble conforming to the classroom structure.

I knew what she was talking about. I had observed him myself in class, when I took the morning off to help with the Halloween party. He ran everywhere in the room instead of walking. Unlike most of the other children (there were a couple of boys who acted like him), he fidgeted and talked out of turn.

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Posted: Jul 14, 2009

tags: add, add and parenting, adhd, adhd and parenting, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

My Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) wasn't diagnosed till I was in my late thirties. By that point, as you can imagine, I had developed coping strategies to get me through life, especially at work. So when my doctor asked if I would like to give treatment with medication a shot, although I couldn't imagine how it would help me, I agreed. We first started on Ritalin. I didn't notice any positive effect, as the heart palpitations I experienced were too distracting, and I discontinued the treatment after three days. We then tried Adderall, which had the same unpleasant effect.

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Posted: Jul 01, 2009

tags: add, adhd, adhd medication, adhd treatment, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder treatment

A new study suggests that stimulants prescribed for ADHD may be responsible for a handful of unexplained deaths in children and adolescents. Researchers compared medical records and parent interviews of children and teens who died between 1985 and 1996, including 564 who died from unexplained heart-rate abnormality. When they excluded deaths that had other possible causes--such as asthma or congenital heart defects--researchers found that 1.8 percent of the group had been taking a stimulant medication. However, researchers say the link between stimulants and sudden unexplained death is very rare.

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Posted: Jun 24, 2009

tags: add, adhd, adhd medication, adhd treatment, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder treatment

Control your browsing

What are your time sinks? I'm betting that one of them is browsing the Internet. It's a real trap for anyone with ADHD. All those interesting links that lead to new places, and you tell yourself that you're just going to surf for a couple of minutes. Next thing you know, an hour has gone by. There are A couple of options to control your surfing. If you have the Firefox browser, you can install the LeechBlock or Tea Timer addon. Or use the Title Bar Browser Timer or Minutes Please, in case you can't install anything on your work computer.

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Posted: Jun 24, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

Two of the biggest problems that anyone with ADHD faces are staying organized and finishing tasks. So the prospect of looking for a new job is often enough to send us into a tailspin. How can we possibly pull things together well enough to knock out the competition that's out there also looking for a job in this economy? In my last thirty years, I've learned a fair amount about finding a job with ADHD (sometimes the hard way) so I thought I'd share some of the most helpful points.

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Posted: Jun 19, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

We ADHD-ers are often brilliant, fascinating and inspired. One thing that we're generally are not is organized. Our minds just don't work that way. We really would like to avoid losing things, forgetting appointments and leaving things we need at home, but our minds just don't run along that organized track.

In the past we managed to control our lives using Day Planners, where we kept our appointments, phone numbers and receipts. That method lacked two things - the ability to search our information easily and access it from anywhere. Now, in the digital age, we have a cornucopia of tools to keep us on track. Here are five free ones that I love.

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Posted: Jun 19, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

At the end of my first year in college I did the usual exam week cramming. I don't test well (my brain completely freezes up), so I had opted to write term papers instead of take exams whenever possible. Because I was given to procrastination, the papers weren't even close to completion on the second to last night. On the advice of a dormmate, I bought a packet of diet pills to help me stay awake all night. Back in 1980, there wasn't much in the diet pills besides lots and lots of caffeine. Along with other students in the dorm lounge, I popped two every four to six hours.

At 3am, everyone else in the dorm lounge was bright eyed and bushy-tailed, if somewhat exhausted. I picked up on this when I woke up from the snooze I'd fallen into an hour and a half before. This was a source of much amusement to the other lounge occupants, who had not dozed off and were talking and typing away a mile a minute. Granted, they crashed later on due to lack of sleep, but I was frustrated that I couldn't stay awake, despite dosing myself with caffeine.

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Posted: Jun 11, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

I have “suffered” from depression and ADHD since I was a child. (I hate that term “suffered,” but what are you going to say – I “enjoyed” depression and ADHD?). The depression made much of my childhood through early adulthood just plain miserable, and my ADHD contributed its share of frustration. I remember putting my head down on my desk and crying when I was younger during tests. I just found it so hard to concentrate and pull the information out of my head.

My depression was finally diagnosed and successfully treated at age 27, but my ADHD remained undiagnosed until my late thirties. I was talking to my therapist about being somewhat frustrated about my short attention span, and the other annoying symptoms. I think I referred to myself as a “space cadet.” When she offered, “Maybe you have ADHD, “ I was completely taken aback. Although I knew what ADHD was, it had never occurred to me that it might apply to me. But I didn't dismiss her observation. Instead I read up on adult ADHD and had the psycho-pharmacologist who was treating my depression test me for it. Bingo.

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Posted: Jun 09, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

Terry Matlen has just launched a new community site on Ning for moms with ADD. Moms with ADD have special challenges, including having a child or two with ADD, too. Join her for support, connection and resources. http://www.momswithadd.com/

Posted: Jun 05, 2009

tags: add, add and parenting, adhd, adhd and parenting, adhd treatment, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

(HealthDay News) -- Children who take medication to treat attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) do better in elementary school than those who don't, a new study has found.

Of 594 children whose parents reported an ADHD diagnosis, those who took medication scored 2.9 points higher on standardized math tests and 5.4 points higher on reading tests than children with ADHD who were not taking medication.

Researchers used a nationally representative sample from the Childhood Longitudinal Study of children who entered kindergarten in 1998, and followed them through fifth grade.

The higher test scores were comparable with the progress expected during one-fifth of a school year for math and about one-third of a school year for reading, according to the study funded by the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health.

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Posted: Apr 27, 2009

tags: add, adhd, adhd medication, adhd treatment, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder treatment

Introduction

"You're lazy." "You're stupid." "I know you could do better in school if you just tried." "Why can't you calm down?" Although most children hear at least one of these questions and/or comments at one time or another, children who suffer from ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) hear them all the time - from parents, peers, teachers, even strangers. In the past, children with this disorder have been labeled by their parents and teachers as troublemakers or underachievers, by their peers as weird. Teenagers who have ADD often indulge in criminal behavior or drug and alcohol abuse. The medical community has labeled them as brain-damaged and hyperactive.

Children with ADD lack some of life's essential coping skills. They can't pay attention, can't sit still and have trouble fitting into the structure of their school and family. They may be forgetful, disorganized, impulsive, and hyperactive.

Roughly speaking, ADD children fall into two groups; those who are hyperactive and those who are not. The non-hyperactive child may never be diagnosed, and may just be seen as a daydreamer and a poor student. The hyperactive child usually comes to the attention of parents and teachers because of anti-social or restless behavior. What these two different personalities share is the inability to maintain attention or focus.

ADD has been, and continues to be, a disorder that is not widely understood. One reason for this is that there is no definitive test for ADD, only an evaluation of a cluster of symptoms. Another frustrating aspect of the disorder which has held back understanding is that symptoms vary widely in children, not only in number and type but in intensity. On top of this, the symptoms can vary in a certain child from day to day and hour to hour.

The history of the names attached to ADD demonstrates how difficult this disorder has been to pin down. When the symptoms first began to be noted and researched in the late 19th century, the patients studied were suffering from a brain injury or illness, and their disorder was eventually identified as Minimal Brain Damage. In the 1960s the name was changed to Minimal Brain Dysfunction, and around 1970 children were generally called Hyperactive or Hyperkinetic to reflect the most visible symptom. By 1980, the lack of attention was considered a more consistent red flag, and the name was changed to Attention Deficit Disorder. In the 1988 version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association the name was changed to Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), with a separate category, Undifferentiated Attention Disorder (UAD), to reflect children who exhibited attention difficulties with no hyperactivity. Although ADHD currently seems to be the most popular label, here the disorder will be referred to as ADD, so as to include children that are not hyperactive (UAD is rarely used as a tag).

Estimates of the number of school-age children who suffer from ADD range widely. In the past it was believed that more boys than girls (80% to 20%) had ADD, due to hyperactivity being more evident in boys. Only severely affected girls were recognized and evaluated. However, as hyperactivity is now not considered an essential component of the disorder, more girls are being diagnosed, and that number will likely change.

Causes

The causes of ADD are not fully understood, and relatively little is known as far as biological aspects. In some cases there is a genetic link, often to the father or another close male relative, but in other cases there can seemingly be none. Although ADD can occur if there are complications at birth, this accounts for only a small percentage of cases. Most ADD children are not braindamaged. However, it is known that ADD occurs from birth, although symptoms may not be apparent until later.

Although many theories have been advanced to explain ADD, including those of food allergies, diet that includes too much sugar or caffeine, or side effects of medication, the most popular theory is currently that of a breakdown in the chemical messenger system in the brain. ADD sufferers are believed to lack sufficient amounts of the neurotransmitting chemical called dopamine. This theory is the basis of most treatment courses which include medication.

Symptoms

As noted, it is difficult to make a diagnosis of ADD. Not only are there several official classifications, but permutations and intensity of symptoms vary widely. Muddying the already murky waters is the fact that there are several syndromes or disorders that often occur along with ADD. Among these are tic disorders or Tourette's Syndrome, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder and true learning disabilities. In 1969 psychologist C. Keith Connors developed the Connors Teacher Rating Scale, which listed thirty-nine behaviors and asked the teacher to rate the child accordingly using a scale from zero to three. While helpful, the scale was criticized because it was slanted toward defining a child with aggressive or hyperkinetic behavior. Over the years the scale has been modified, and currently the Connors Abbreviated Rating Scale is widely used.

Connors Abbreviated Rating Scale for ADD

1. Excitable and impulsive
2. Difficulty learning
3. Restless in the "squirmy" sense
4. Restless; always up and on the go
5. Denies mistakes or blames others
6. Fails to finish things
7. Childish or immature
8. Distractible or has an attention span problem
9. Moods change quickly and drastically
10. Easily frustrated

Each characteristic is assigned 3 points. A score of 15 or higher is cause for further evaluation. Symptoms of ADD are often not picked up on until the child enters school. This is usually the first time that a child has had to fit into a group and learn and demonstrate knowledge of specific information.

As there is no typical ADD child, the deficit of attention is what teachers should look for, as that is the one consistent symptom. While these children may be able to concentrate on things they like, such as sports or television, in school not only are they faced with the necessity to process information, which is difficult for them, but many of their other traits also conspire to interfere with their learning.

The major trait is their distractability. All stimuli affect these children equally. A lawnmower outside the classroom or a dropped pencil inside will capture and hold their attention as much as the teacher's voice. They cannot select which is most important, so fixing their attention on anything, especially in the often disruptive atmosphere of school, is next to impossible. Some children liken this difficulty to switching channels on a TV and being unable to stay on one channel.

Another trait, their impulsivity, can lead to both academic and peer problems. ADD children will often start a test without even reading the directions. They will call out an answer in class without raising their hand. They very often have few or no friends because of their tendency to speak or act without thinking or considering the social implications of their words or actions. One case of an eight-year-old boy painfully illustrates this. Wanting to be popular, he invited all the boys in his neighborhood to a party. Unfortunately, as he gave out the invitations, he hugged all the boys, not considering that this impulse was not socially acceptable. (2) Due to their impulsivity, ADD children often won't wait their turn or follow rules in games, and this can quickly alienate other children.

Lack of organizational skills is another ADD trait which interferes with the child performing well in school. They often struggle over homework for hours, only to forget to bring it to school. They also continually forget to bring books back and forth to school or write homework assignments down. They have difficulty keeping track of time or of their possessions.

Parents and teachers must be aware that one of the most puzzling aspects of ADD is its inconsistency. A child that does fine one day, both academically and behaviorally, can fail a test and be disruptive the next. Teachers and parents often castigate the child, or may be plain frustrated, as they are aware that the child can do well. In the past it was assumed that the child was just not tryincr on his schoolwork or "acting up" as far as his behavior.

Diagnosis

Diagnosis is a complex process. Once it has been established that a child fits the criteria for ADD, a complete physical is usually given to rule out the possibility of a medical cause for the symptoms. The behavioral history of the child and the medical history of both the child and the family will be examined to provide the doctor with clues and confirmation of the diagnosis. The process should also include some psychological and educational tests and observation by a psychologist.

Treatment

Treatment is necessarily multi-modal, with several approaches being combined to form an effective program: medication, therapy, parent training in behavior management and a modified school program.

Medication is effective in about 80% of children to varying degrees. Traditionally, the most popular of these medications is Ritalin, a stimulant. The medication can have a transforming effect on some children, allowing them to concentrate and calm down. However, the effectiveness wears off after four hours, and the child must be carefully monitored to determine how often per day he should be dosed. Two other stimulants which are not as often prescribed are Dexadrine and Cylert. In some cases anti-depressants are prescribed, but these are much less popular than the stimulants, partly due to numerous side-effects, and are only used in rare cases, such as children who have tic disorders.

The second prong of a multi-modal treatment program is therapy, which is usually necessary on a short-term basis at the least. Most ADD children have low self-esteem. If it has not developed due to their own frustration and anger with themselves, their self-esteem has beaten down by constantly being criticized and blamed by parents, teachers, parents of friends, and even strangers who may see them act up in a supermarket. The family is usually included in some part of the therapy as the presence of ADD in a family is at the least disruptive. At the worst it can lead to divorce or psychic damage to the family members, especially siblings, who are often neglected while attention is paid to the "difficult" child. Parents often have to "unlearn" techniques they have used to cope with their ADD child and be made aware of the often negative comments and attitudes that they have developed toward the child, and work toward re-developing these in a more positive, constructive manner.

Parents must play a large role in managing the ADD child, and not leave everything up to the doctor(s) and the school. Not only do they need to reinforce and support what the teacher is doing at school, but they need to learn management techniques for home. Some parents utilize a point system, with points being given for good behavior and effort on schoolwork. These points can than be traded for privileges which have been awarded a certain number of points in advance.

Parents must understand that ADD children cannot be governed by the same set of rules as other children. If a child needs a five minute break from doing homework, the parent needs to be able to recognize and respect that. If a child keeps forgetting schoolbooks, the parent can request an extra set of schoolbooks for home, instead of chastising the child for forgetting them.

As ADD children need a calm, predictable atmosphere, the family may have to make modifications in their homelife to that end. Large gatherings or parties at home may have to be scrapped, or arrangements made for the child to be elsewhere at the time. An ADD child may need to be prepared in advance for such big events as vacation travel, the first day of school, or a guest coming to stay to avoid overexcitement. Any disruption of the normal routine can upset an ADD child.

The child's social life should not be neglected, as this is an essential part of self-esteem and social development skills. In Maybe You Know My Kid, Mary Cahill Fowler, herself the parent of an ADHD child, suggests that the parents "target" a friend for their child. She says, "...make the target child someone with whom the ADHD child has already experienced some positive connection. For instance, if the ADHD child came home from school one day and said, 'Johnny was nice to me,' Johnny could become a good candidate to be the target child." (3) The hope is that, with carefully supervised activities designed by the parent of the ADD child which will prevent their child from acting up, a friendship can be encouraged and social bridges can be built.

In school, teachers must be prepared to make changes and accommodations for an ADD child, and in many cases plan a special program. There are many small changes that can help, such as moving the child to the front of the classroom or next to an academically and behaviorally strong student. Teachers can develop a signal (such as tapping a pencil on the child's desk in passing) when they sense the child's mind is wandering.

A teacher should also take the time to make sure the child has read and understood directions before beginning a test or assignment, and not just plunged right in as many ADD children do.

Constructive discipline such as time-outs can help ADD children regain their balance in a potentially volatile situation.

A daily report card can be utilized, more for the child and teacher than for the parents, to detail how the child did in areas of behavior and completing work, and rewards or simple encouragement can be used to reinforce good "reports." It can also be used to tie in with the parent's point system to create a cohesive management system.

A reasonable amount of effort on the teacher's part can turn the most difficult child in the classroom into a manageable and potentially rewarding student. On the other hand, a teacher who does not understand ADD can be a nightmare for the child. One illustration of this situation is the experience of Tracey Gold, the actress on "Growing Pains," who suffers from ADD. She was diagnosed with the disorder after having been a poor student for most of her academic life, despite intensive time spent on schoolwork and being an avid reader. Due to reworking of her classwork and different study techniques, she improved in school. However, in one situation, a teacher accused her of having someone else write her paper, as he/she did not believe she possessed the vocabulary to write it. Even though she verbally defined all the words pointed out in the paper, the teacher insisted, "...I know you're not capable of doing this work." (4)

Non-Traditional Treatment

Some parents looking for a quick and easy solution to their child's problem have attempted to follow such non-traditional treatments as dietary changes (the most popular being the Feingold or Kaiser Permanente diet), megavitamin therapy, relaxation and biofeedback, sensory integration therapy and chiropractic manipulation. However, not only are most of these methods ineffective under study, in addition they do not take into account the behavioral modification that must take place in and around ADD children.

At one time it was believed that children grew out of ADD in their teens. However, longitudinal studies which followed ADD children into adulthood found that at least 50% of these children continued to have some part of the condition as adults. Adults with ADD often have trouble holding down jobs, have problems with substance abuse, and can be moody in a way that mimics manicdepressive illness with its extreme highs and lows.

The tools that one employs while dealing with\working with non-ADD children are the same ones that one uses with an ADD child: self-education, patience and compassion. The only difference is that more of each is needed to help the ADD child. This little bit more, while very small to us, can make a world of difference for them.

Notes

(1) Connecticut Association for Children with Learning Disabilities
(2) Moss p. 60
(3) Fowler p. 63
(4) Gold p. 49

Sources

Periodicals

Adduci, Lynne "My child couldn't pay attention." Woman's Day, Sept. 3 '91, p. 102.
Garber, Stephen W., Garber, Marianne Daniels, and Spizman, Robyn Freeman Is your child hyperactive? Inattentive? Impulsive? Distractible? Redbook, Oct. '90 p. 32.
Gold, Bonnie and Byron, Ellen "School was a nightmare for Tracey." Redbook, March '90, p. 46.
Marks, Jane "Why is our child failing?" Parents' Magazine, Sept. '92 p. 69.

Books

Bain, Lisa J. Parent's Guide to Attention Deficit Disorders (Dell, 1991).
Fowler, Mary Cahill Maybe You Know Mfr Kid (Carol Publishing Group, 1990).
Moss, Robert A., M.D. Why Johnny Can't Concentrate (Bantam, 1990).
Quinn, Patricia 0., M.D. and Stern, Judith M., M.A. Putting on the Brakes (Magination Press, 1991).
Wender, Paul H., M.D. The Hyperactive Child Adolescent, and Adult (Oxford University Press, 1987).

Video

Connecticut Association for Children with Learning Disabilities Presents "Understanding Attention Deficit Disorders" (1988).

Posted: Feb 15, 2009

tags: add, adhd, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, children