Depression Support and Community

Image%3A The Baths at Caracalla by Sir Lawrence Alma_Tadema

Especially when you are first diagnosed with depression, you have a lot of questions about the illness and treatments. Most of all, you want to talk to other people who have this illness, to feel less alone. With the Internet, time and distance are no longer obstacles.

Our Wing of Madness network on Ning has a forum, chat room and member blogs.

Posted: Feb 15, 2009

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Chat Guidelines

Image%3A A Coign of Vantage by Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema

The Support Group Atmosphere

  • Chat is a support group atmosphere, not one-on-one therapy that you are paying for. Please don't make other members feel guilty if they don't focus on your problems exactly when you want them to. They are suffering as much, if not more, than you are. Remember also that although everyone has crisis periods, overall you need to give as much support as you demand.
  • Strong language should be kept to a minimum.
  • Respect the opinions, cultures and beliefs of others. Many people here are in a vulnerable state of mind. Disagreeing with someone is expected to some extent, but personal attacks are not permitted for any reason.
  • Along the same lines, since political discussions can get heated, and furthermore are not on topic, please take them offline if you want to discuss which political group/ideology/country, etc. is the "right" one.
  • If you are drunk or high, you may be asked to leave chat. Remember that you're more likely to say something you regret in that condition and relationships here have been damaged that way in the past.
  • Lurking (listening but not talking) is fine, but you may want to tell people that you're going to lurk.
  • A certain amount of idle, non-depression related chat is expected, but let's all remember why we're here. Joking and banter can be found in any chat - ours is meant to help each other through this illness. If someone wants to talk about depression, all other topics should stop or be taken elsewhere.
  • If someone is suicidal, refer them to a local hotline or urge them to go to the hospital. Anyone who encourages the person who is suicidal to go through with it will be locked out.
  • If someone new comes into chat please welcome them and let them know you are there for them if they feel like talking; nobody should feel forced to talk.
  • If you are going to be away from your computer, please switch to the Away subroom.

Trigger Topics

Since we don't have the ability to segregate trigger topics in chat the way we can on the board, we need to be more careful about discussing them.

  • Specific discussions about cutting or sexual abuse are not permitted unless everyone in the chat room is comfortable with it.
  • Religious discussion and proselytizing (trying to convert others to your religion) are not permitted in chat. Please remember that some people are offended by religious discussion and not everyone believes in the same deity that you do.

Private Messaging

  • Private messaging is only for conversations that need to be conducted in the chat room but are too sensitive for one reason or another to be public, or for very quick personal remarks. If you need to carry on an extended personal conversation with someone else, please exit the chat room and use one of the other rooms - The Quiet Room or The Cafe - or use an instant messaging program like Yahoo, MSN or AIM. Other chatters do know when two people are not participating fully in the room's conversation and feel ignored, especially if the group is small.
  • Be very careful about what you say in private messages. Due to human or computer error, it could show up in the room. Do not say anything that you wouldn't want the whole room to hear.

No Sex, Please!

  • No cybersex. Period.
  • No A/S/L questions (age, sex, location). This is not a dating chat, and those questions make people uncomfortable.
  • Sexual harassment of any kind is not permitted by either gender. Flirting should be kept to a minimum. Take it elsewhere if you want to want to pick someone up. Sexual discussion about depression (i.e., medication causing sexual dysfunction) is fine, but bear in mind that someone in the room might be uncomfortable. Change the subject if that becomes obvious.

If You're Suicidal

  • This chat room is a support group situation, with no trained mental health professionals present. Please call a suicide hotline or go to a clinic or hospital if you feel that you might act on your suicidal feelings, as opposed to just wanting to talk about them.

Problems?

    Transcripts of the day's chatting are sent to WoMDeb every night. If there is a problem in chat, please email or private message her on the board and she will look at them. Remember that private messaging in chat is included in the transcripts.

  • As on the board, if you have a problem with a chat moderator's behavior, please take it to WoMDeb in private message on the board. She will look at the chat transcripts, among other things.

Etc.

  • Do not give out personal information such as phone number or address in chat.

Posted: Feb 08, 2009

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Message Board Guidelines

Image%3A The Favourite Poet by Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema

This forum may be different from other forums you've been to in that we have a lot of guidelines, and they are enforced. Because we want to create a supportive, safe environment, we err on the side of being restrictive rather than on the side of freedom.  If after reading the guidelines you feel this environment is not for you, that's perfectly understandable. However, if you decide to become part of our community, you are expected to abide by the guidelines. This doesn't mean that you can't ever question them in a respectful manner, either by a post or a PM (private message) to WoMDeb or a moderator.

The Message Board is Not Here for...

  • No solicitation of any kind is allowed. Anyone who uses this site to promote a commercial product will be banned. This includes links in your signature, which should not lead to commercial sites.
  • Anyone who is visiting strictly to save souls will likewise be banned. If you're depressed, we don't care what your religion is, but if you're just looking for vulnerable people to convert, you'll be banned.
  • This is a support group atmosphere, not one-on-one therapy. No one here owes anyone else support. Anyone who tries to guilt another member into giving them help will be asked to re-consider their participation in the forum.
  • Wing of Madness' purpose is to create a safe environment for discussing depression. We prefer to keep confrontation to a minimum; many of our members find it distressing. Therefore, it should be expected that moderators will step in on any topic that has become too heated or confrontational.
  • This is not a place for heated debates of a political, religious, cultural, etc. nature. While we recognize that it's impossible to avoid conflict in a group this large, we prefer to keep it to a minimum. Any threads that get too heated or confrontational will be closed.

Usernames, Avatars and Signatures

  • Each member is allowed one account, and one account only. Display names cannot be changed by a member. If you wish to change your name because you either don't like it or for privacy reasons, please contact WoMDeb or a moderator by PM. If your change is not due to privacy or security reasons, you will be asked to make a post on the board announcing it.
  • If you're inclined to make your username sexually explicit, scatalogical or offensive in some other way, reconsider it. There are very few usernames changed by the admin, but realize that if you choose a username for its shock value, some members will be shocked and/or annoyed, not impressed.
  • If your avatar depicts anything that might trigger someone (cutting, suicide method, etc.) you will be asked to change it.
  • Image signatures are limited to 300x300 in dimension and 17k in file size. Although there is no limit to lines on text signatures, please remember that each signature adds to the time everyone spends scrolling through posts.

Respect for Other Members

  • No personal attacks, for any reason.
  • In this community, there is no "one true way" to handle depression. No evangelizing or preaching about any form of treatment.
  • Do not in any way encourage someone else to commit suicide. Sounds incredible, but it has happened. This includes suicide pacts. This is a potential banning offense.
  • Do not even consider faking your own suicide to get attention or sympathy. Everyone here is in a fragile emotional state, and a suicide has a devastating effect on the community. If you need attention that badly, please discuss your situation with a therapist.
  • Never, never try to make other members feel guilty for how they treated you by talking about being suicidal or going into the hospital. You have no idea how this is going to affect the other members. If you feel a member has treated you poorly, please contact WOMDeb or a moderator.
  • Triggers
  • Non-depression related sexual content should be kept to a minimum. Some members are sexual abuse survivors. Discussion of sexually related side effects is permitted.

Problems and Personal Conflicts

  • If you have a personal problem or personality clash with another member, please try to settle it between yourselves before coming to a moderator or WOMDeb. If someone is bothering you, please try blocking their posts and PMs before coming to us.
  • If two members are having a disagreement in a thread, it should be taken to PM or email. No one else is as interested in your personality clash as you are and it upsets people.
  • Anyone who publicly or privately attacks a moderator is subject to banning. The way to handle a disagreement or problem that you have with a moderator is to contact WOMDeb by Private Message.

Message Board Etiquette

  • Don't SHOUT. Typing in all capital letters is the online equivalent of shouting. If you have any kind of disability that makes it necessary to type in caps, explain that if possible before the question comes up.
  • Feel free to "lurk" (read but not post on the message board) until you're comfortable.
  • No spamming or cross-posting (posting a message in more than one folder).
  • Don't feed the trolls.
  • Students, journalists, etc. - please do not use us for your research or articles. We are here to support each other, not provide you information. Please contact the webmaster at webmaster@wingofmadness.com for permission to post anything requesting volunteers. If you post without receiving permission, your post will be deleted.

Topics

  • Any message that contains potential "triggers" such as self-injury, suicide or sexual abuse should be posted in the Trigger Topics forum.
  • The Suicidal Thoughts folder is not somewhere to discuss specific ways to kill yourself and/or ask advice on how to do so.
  • The Self-Injury folder is not to be used to encourage someone else to self injure.
  • Off-topic messages (having nothing to do with mood disorders) should be posted in the "Off Topic" section.
  • Religious discussion, excluding brief references, is limited to the "Spirituality & Depression" folder. Any messages that violate this rule run the risk of being deleted without notice. In this vein, no proselytizing (trying to convert others to your religion) is allowed.

Safety

  • Use good judgement with information you receive on the message boards. Take all information given with a grain of salt and remember that it is not being given by a medical professional.
  • For your own safety, don't post your phone number, mailing address or email address on the message boards. Remember that this is a public venue.

Crisis Situations

  • Anyone who is severely suicidal should be encouraged to go the emergency room or to their doctor.
  • Suicide prevention number listings: US: SuicideHotlines.com US/Canada/International: Hopeline
  • Samaritans: Phone: UK 08457 90 90 90, Republic of Ireland 1850 60 90 90 Internet: http://www.samaritans.org.uk Email: jo@samaritans.org.uk


A good overview on how to behave on online forums is covered in this video .

And finally

A member may be suspended or banned for any activity on this board, or directed to another member, that in the sole opinion of the administrator could be viewed as criminal by law enforcement authorities, in the United States, the State of California, and/or any other political entity that may have jurisdiction. A member may be suspended or banned for any activity considered to be inappropriate for this board, whether covered by the guidelines or not, at the discretion of the administrator. In other words, if you do anything illegal or inappropriate that is not in the guidelines because it didn't occur to me that a reasonable person would actually do it, you still could be banned. Use your judgment, and if you're not sure if something will be frowned on, ask first.

Posted: Feb 08, 2009

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