alt.support.depression FAQ
Part
4 of 5
===========
**Self-care** (cont.)
- How can I help
myself get through depression on a day-to-day basis?
**Books**
- What are some books about depression?
Self-care (cont.)
-----------------
Q. How can I help myself get through depression on
a day-to-day basis?
On a day-to-day basis, separate from, or concurrently
with therapy or
medication, we all have our own methods for getting through
the worst
times as best we can. The following comments and ideas on what
to do
during depression were solicited from people in the
alt.support.depression
newsgroup. Sometimes these things work,
sometimes they don't. Just keep
trying them until you find some
techniques that work for you.
* Write. Keep a journal. Somehow writing everything down helps keep
the misery from running around in circles.
* Listen to your favorite
"help" songs (a bunch of songs that have
strong positive meaning
for you)
* Read (anything and everything) Go to the library and check
out
fiction you've wanted to read for a long time; books about
depression, spirituality, morality; biographies about people who
suffered
from depression but still did well with their lives
(Winston Churchill
and Martin Luther, to name two;).
* Sleep for a while
* Even when busy, remember to sleep. Notice if what you do before
sleeping
changes how you sleep.
* If you might be a danger to yourself, don't
be alone. Find people.
If that is not practical, call them up on the
phone. If there is no
one you feel you can call, suicide hotlines can
be helpful, even if
you're not quite that badly off yet.
* Hug someone or have someone hug you.
* Remember to eat. Notice
if eating certain things (e.g. sugar or
coffee) changes how you feel.
* Make yourself a fancy dinner, maybe invite someone over.
* Take a bath or a perfumed bubble bath.
* Mess around on the computer.
* Rent comedy videos.
* Go for a long walk
*
Dancing. Alone in my house or out with a friend.
* Eat well. Try
to alternate foods you like ( Maybe junk foods) with
the stuff you know
you should be eating.
* Spend some time playing with a child
* Buy yourself a gift
* Phone a friend
* Read
the newspaper comics page
* Do something unexpectedly nice for someone
* Do something unexpectedly nice for yourself.
* Go outside
and look at the sky.
* Get some exercise while you're out, but don't
take it too seriously.
* Pulling weeds is nice, and so is digging
in the dirt.
* Sing. If you are worried about responses from critical
neighbors,
go for a drive and sing as loud as you want in the car. There's
something about the physical act of singing old favorites that's
very soothing. Maybe the rhythmic breathing that singing enforces
does
something for you too. Lullabies are especially good.
* Pick a small
easy task, like sweeping the floor, and do it.
* If you can meditate,
it's really helpful. But when you're really
down you may not be able
to meditate. Your ability to meditate will
return when the depression
lifts. If you are unable to meditate,
find some comforting reading and
read it out loud.
* Feed yourself nourishing food.
*
Bring in some flowers and look at them.
* Exercise, Sports. It is
amazing how well some people can play
sports even when feeling very miserable.
* Pick some action that is so small and specific you know you can do
it in the present. This helps you feel better because you actually
accomplish something, instead of getting caught up in abstract
worries
and huge ideas for change. For example say "hi" to someone
new if you are trying to be more sociable. Or, clean up one side of
a
room if you are trying to regain control over your home.
* If you're
anxious about something you're avoiding, try to get some
support to face
it.
* Getting Up. Many depressions are characterized by guilt, and
lots
of it. Many of the things that depressed people want to do because
of their depressions (staying in bed, not going out) wind up making
the depression worse because they end up causing depressed people
to
feel like they are screwing things up more and more. So if
you've had
six or seven hours of sleep, try to make yourself get
out of bed the
moment you wake up...you may not always succeed,
but when you do, it's
nice to have gotten a head start on the day.
* Cleaning the house.
This worked for some people me in a big way.
When depressions are at
their worst, you may find yourself unable
to do brain work, but you probably
can do body things. One
depressed person wrote, "So I spent two
weeks cleaning my house,
and I mean CLEANING: cupboards scrubbed, walls
washed, stuff given
away... throughout the two weeks, I kept on thinking
"I'm not
cleaning it right, this looks terrible, I don't even know
how to
clean properly", but at the end, I had this sparkling beautiful
house!"
* Volunteer work. Doing volunteer work on a regular
basis seems to
keep the demons at bay, somewhat... it can help take the
focus off
of yourself and put it on people who may have larger problems
(even
though it doesn't always feel that way).
* In general,
It is extremely important to try to understand if
something you can't
seem to accomplish is something you simply CAN'T
do because you're depressed
(write a computer program, be charming
on a date), or whether its something
you CAN do, but it's going to
be hell (cleaning the house, going for
a walk with a friend, getting
out of bed). If it turns out to be something
you can do, but don't
want to, try to do it anyway. You will not always
succeed, but try.
And when you succeed, it will always amaze you to look
back on it
afterwards and say "I felt like such shit, but look how
well I
managed to...!" This last technique, by the way, usually
works for
body stuff only (cleaning, cooking, etc.). The brain stuff
often
winds up getting put off until after the depression lifts.
* Do not set yourself difficult goals or take on a great deal of
responsibility.
* Break large tasks into many smaller ones, set some
priorities, and
do what you can, as you can.
* Do not expect
too much from yourself. Unrealistic expectations will
only increase feelings
of failure, as they are impossible to meet.
Perfectionism leads to increased
depression.
* Try to be with other people, it is usually better than
being alone.
* Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
You might
try mild exercise, going to a movie, a ball game, or participating
in religious or social activities. Don't overdo it or get upset if
your mood does not greatly improve right away. Feeling better takes
time.
* Do not make any major life decisions, such as quitting your job or
getting married or separated while depressed. The negative thinking
that accompanies depression may lead to horribly wrong decisions.
If
pressured to make such a decision, explain that you will make the
decision
as soon as possible after the depression lifts. Remember
you are not
seeing yourself, the world, or the future in an objective
way when you
are depressed.
* While people may tell you to "snap out"
of your depression, that is
not possible. The recovery from depression
usually requires
antidepressant therapy and/or psychotherapy. You cannot
simple make
yourself "snap out" of the depression. Asking
you to "snap out" of a
depression makes as much sense as asking
someone to "snap out" of
diabetes or an under-active thyroid
gland.
* Remember: Depression makes you have negative thoughts about
yourself, about the world, the people in your life, and about the
future. Remember that your negative thoughts are not a rational way
to
think of things. It is as if you are seeing yourself, the world,
and
the future through a fog of negativity. Do not accept your
negative thinking
as being true. It is part of the depression and
will disappear as your
depression responds to treatment. If your
negative (hopeless) view of
the future leads you to seriously
consider suicide, be sure to tell your
doctor about this and ask for
help. Suicide would be an irreversible
act based on your
unrealistically hopeless thoughts.
* Remember
that the feeling that nothing can make depression better
is part of the
illness of depression. Things are probably not
nearly as hopeless as
you think they are.
* If you are on medication:
a. Take
the medication as directed. Keep taking it as directed
for as long
as directed.
b. Discuss with the doctor ahead of time what happens in
case of
unacceptable side-effects.
c. Don't stop taking medication
or change dosage without discussing
it with your doctor, unless you
discussed it ahead of time.
d. Remember to check about mixing other things
with medication. Ask
the prescribing doctor, and/or the pharmacist
and/or look it up
in the Physician's Desk Reference. Redundancy is
good.
e. Except in emergencies, it is a good idea to check what your
insurance covers before receiving treatment.
* Do not rely
on your doctor or therapist to know everything. Do some
reading yourself.
Some of what is available to read yourself may be
wrong, but much of
it will shed light on your disorder.
* Talk to your doctor if you
think your medication is giving
undesirable side-effects.
* Do ask them if you think an alternative treatment might be more
appropriate
for you.
* Do tell them anything you think it is important to know.
* Do feel free to seek out a second opinion from a different
qualified medical professional if you feel that you cannot get what you
need from the one you have.
* Skipping appointments, because
you are "too sick to go to the
doctor" is generally a bad idea..
* If you procrastinate, don't try to get everything done. Start by
getting one thing done. Then get the next thing done. Handle one
crisis at a time.
* If you are trying to remember too many things
to do, it is okay to
write them down. If you make lists of tasks, work
on only one task
at a time. Trying to do too many things can be too much.
It can be
helpful to have a short list of things to do "now"
and a longer
list of things you have decided not to worry about just
yet. When you
finish writing the long list, try to forget about it for
a while.
* If you have a list of things to do, also keep a list of
what you
have accomplished too, and congratulate yourself each time you
get
something done. Don't take completed tasks off your to-do list. If
you do, you will only have a list of uncompleted tasks. It's useful
to have the crossed-off items visible so you can see what you have
accomplished
* In general, drinking alcohol makes depression worse.
Many cold
remedies contain alcohol. Read the label. Being on medication
may
change how alcohol affects you.
* Books on the topic
of "What to do during Depression": "A Reason to
Live,"
Melody Beattie, Tyndale House Publishers, Wheaton, IL. 167
pages. This
book focuses on reasons to choose life over suicide,
but is still useful
even if suicide isn't on your mind. In fact, it
reads a lot like this
portion of the FAQ. An excerpt:
* Do two things each day. In times
of severe crisis, when you don't
want to do anything, do two things each
day. Depending on your physical
and emotional condition, the two things
could be taking a shower and
making a phone call, or writing a letter
and painting a room.
* Get a cat. Cats are clean and quiet, they are
often permitted by
landlords who won't allow dogs, they are warm and
furry.
Books
-----
Q. What are some books about depression?
This is an shorter version from a list of books compiled from the
personal recommendations of the members/readers/participants of the
Walkers-in-Darkness mailing list, the alt.support.depression
newsgroup,
and the Mood Disorders Support Network on AOL.
The full list is available
at the Walkers ftp site (see Internet
Resources) and at the MIT *.answers
site, rtfm.mit.edu;
pub/usenet/alt-support-depression/books
If you have any additions, updates, corrections, etc. for this list,
please
send email to "danash@aol.com" (Dan Ash).
~A Brilliant Madness:
Living with Manic Depressive Illness.~ Patty
"Anna" Duke and
Gloria Hochman. Bantam Books 1992 Comments: Patty
Duke's very personal
account of her account of her struggle with
manic-depression.
~The Broken Brain: The Biological Revolution in Psychiatry.~ Nancy
Andreasen,
MD, Ph.D.. Harper. Perennial. 1984
~Care of the Soul.~ Thomas Moore.
Harper. Perennial. 1992
~The Consumers Guide to Psychotherapy.~ Jack
Engler, Ph.D. and Daniel
Goleman, Ph.D. Fireside-Simon & Schuster.
1992
~Cognitive Therapy & The Emotional Disorders.~ Aaron T. Beck,
MD
Penguin. Meridian. 1976
~Darkness Visible: A Memoir of
Madness.~ William Styron. Vintage. 1990.
~The Depression Handbook.~
Workbook. Mary Ellen Copeland
~Depression and it's Treatment.~ John
H. Greist, MD.. and James W.
Jefferson, MD.. Warner Books. 1992
~The Essential Guide to Psychiatric Drugs.~ Jack Gorman. St. Martin's
Press. 1992
~Everything You Wanted to Know About Prozac.~ Jeffrey
M. Jonas, MD and
Ron Schaumburg. Bantam. 1991
~Feeling Good:
The New Mood Therapy.~ David Burns, MD. Signet. 1980
Self-help cognitive
therapy techniques for depression, anxiety, etc.
~The Feeling Good
Handbook.~ David D. Burns, MD. Plume. 1989
~Good Mood: The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression.~ Julian L.
Simon. Open Court Press. 1993.
~The Good News About Depression.~ Mark S. Gold. Bantam. 1986
~Listening To Prozac.~ Peter D. Kramer, M.D. Viking. 1993 A
psychiatrist
explores some of the implications of anti- depressants,
and especially
of Prozac's unusual effects on the personality. Kramer
also discusses the
recent research on depression, as well as several
other issues which seem
linked to depression.
~How to Heal Depression.~ Harold H. Bloomfield,
MD and Peter
McWilliams. Prelude Press. 1994
~Manic-Depressive
Illness.~ Fredrick K. Goodwin, MD, & Kay Redfield
Jamison, Ph.D.. Oxford.
1990
~Munchausen's Pigtail.~ Psychotherapy and 'Reality': Essays
& Lectures.
Paul Walzlawick, Ph.D.. Norton
~On The Edge
Of Darkness.~ Kathy Cronkite. Doubleday. 1994
~Overcoming Depression.~
Demitri F. and Janice Papolos. Harper.
Perennial. 1992. Good basic text
on the various aspects of depression
and manic depression. Considered by
some to be a "classic" in the
field.
~A Primer of
Drug Action: A Concise, Non technical Guide to the"
"Actions,Uses
and Side Effects of Psychoactive Drugs.~ Robert M.
Julien. W.H. Freeman.
1992. 6 ed.
~Prozac: Questions and Answers for Patients, Families
and Physicians.~
Dr. Robert Fieve, MD... Avon. 1993
~Questions
and Answers about Depression and its Treatment.~ Dr. Ivan
Goldberg. The
Charles Press in Philadelphia. 1993. A 112-page FAQ on
depression that
has appeared in book form. Dr. Goldberg has also
contributed to the FAQ
for a.s.d. and frequently posts to
Walkers-in-darkness.
~A
Reason to Live.~ Melody Beattie (General Editor).. Tyndale House
Publishers,
Inc.. 1992. This is a book that explores reasons to live
and reasons not
to commit suicide. It also contains suggestions for
life-affirming actions
people can take to help themselves get through
those times when they're
struggling to find a reason to live.
~From Sad to Glad.~ Nathan S.
Kline, MD. Ballantine Books.. 1991 20th
printing. Out of date pharmacologically
"but excellent otherwise."
Kline says: "Psychiatry has labored
too long under the delusion that
every emotional malfunction requires an
endless talking out of
everything the patient ever experienced."
~Season of the Mind.~ Norman Rosenthal, MD.. This book explores
Seasonal Affective Disorder.
~Talking Back to Prozac.~ Peter Breggin.
St. Martins Press. 1994
~Touched with Fire: Manic-depressive Illness
and the Artistic~
~Temperament.~ Kay Jamison. A look at a number of 19th
century poets,
writers, and composers who were Bipolar. This book in quoted
liberally in this FAQ under "Who are some famous people with
depression?"
~Toxic Psychiatry: Why Therapy, Empathy, and Love Must Replace Drugs,~
~Electroshock, and the Biochemical Theories of the 'New Psychiatry'.~
Peter Breggin. St. Martin's Press. 1991
~We Heard the Angels of Madness:
One Family's Struggle with Manic~
~Depression.~ Diane and Lisa Berger This
book was written by a mother
who had a son stricken by manic-depression
at 19 and documents the
rough road they walked to get him the help he needed.
Very heartfelt
and well written.
~Understanding Depression.~
Donald Klein, MD, and Paul Wender, MD
(founders of the National Assn. for
Depressive Illness). Oxford,
1993 Melvin Sabshin, MD, Medical Director,
American Psychiatric Assn.
writes: "A very good source of information
that will be
extraordinarily useful to patients and their families."
~The Way Up From Down.~ Priscilla Slagle, M.D. This book stresses a
nutritional approach heavy on the amino acid tyrosine, and a complete
vitamin supplement program.
~What You Need to Know About Psychiatric
Drugs.~ Stuart C. Yudofsky,
MD; Robert E. Hales, MD; and Tom Ferguson,
MD. Ballantine. 1991
~When am I Going to Be Happy?~ Penelope Russianoff,
Ph.D.. Bantam.
1989
~When the Blues Won't Go Away.~ Robert
Hirschfeld, MD... 1991 Concerns
new approaches to Dysthymic Disorder and
other forms of chronic
low-grade depression.
~Winter Blues:
Seasonal Affective Disorder and How to Overcome It.~
Norman Rosenthal,
MD... The Guilfold Press. 1993
~You Are Not Alone.~ Julia Thorne with
Larry Rothstein. Harper Collins.
1993 Comments: The writings of depressives,
for both depressives and
those who need to understand them. Shervert Frazier,
MD, former
director of the National Institutes of Mental Health says:
"A
ground breaking book that...reveals the impact of depression on
the
lives of everyday people. This little book is must reading for
sufferers, those associated with depression, and mental health
professionals"
~You Mean I Don't Have To Feel This Way?~ Collette Dowling. Bantam.
1993 Comments: Jeffrey M. Jonas, MD writes: "An important book that
is filled with information helpful to sufferers of mood and eating
disorders
and other illnesses. It should be read not only by lay
people but also
by professionals who deal with these illnesses."
