Items Tagged With depression

People who live in damp, moldy homes may be prone to depression, a new study suggests.

The possible link was uncovered in an analysis of mold and health conditions in several cities in eastern and western Europe. And it could one day lead to the addition of emotional problems to the list of health woes caused by mold, the study authors said.

But, the researchers cautioned, it's still too soon to tell if exposure to mold is directly related to depression, or whether an already depressed person might simply relinquish control of their surroundings to the degree that mold may develop.

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Let's face it - even in an un-depressed state, the holidays are stressful and often disappointing. We run ourselves ragged buying gifts, cooking, decorating and entertaining. Tempers flare as we're thrown together with relatives whom we see infrequently, and don't necessarily enjoy spending time with. Expectations are high that this season will be magical and perfect as we try to recapture the wonderment we felt as children waiting for Santa, or wait for a rush of emotion as we ponder the religious significance of Christmas and Chanukah. When those feelings don't automatically well up, we're disappointed.

I broke down in tears twice while trying to juggle visits to my ex-husband's family and my own. I wasn't even depressed - both those times I was on antidepressants and doing great. The sheer stress of the holidays was just too much for me. One year I even said to my ex-husband, "Do we really have to decorate this year?". Of course the answer was yes, and I'm glad we did. But this illustrates to me how sometimes the ideals of the holidays and the reality can be far apart.

I thought it would be helpful and informative to share good/bad psychiatrist or therapist stories.

We'll start out with my experiences...

My first experience with treatment was at the mental health clinic at the local hospital. I was fairly indifferent toward the first psychiatrist I had there, but I was unpleasantly jarred to find out that he was leaving after six months. Apparently they were on some sort of rotation. When I walked into the new psychiatrist's office, I immediately got a bad feeling. It looked like he felt this was a temporary situation, as the office was completely bare except for the desk and two chairs. The reason for my visit was to ask him to raise my medication, as I was feeling the familiar signs of depression after being fairly stable for a year. He never even looked at me, and only asked me one question to determine whether I was depressed again or not, "Do you have thoughts of harming yourself or others?" I said, "Well, no, but I never have, so that's not really an indication for me." He ignored all the signs of depression I was recounting and refused to raise my medication. I absolutely hated him, and wouldn't go back until he was gone six months later. This time when I walked into the new psychiatrist's office I was very wary, but the difference he had made in that cold office was amazing. I'm a little fuzzy on the specifics, but I immediately noticed that the place smelled great. He had air fresheners in the office that made you want to inhale when you walked in. He had prints on the walls and (I'm pretty sure) healthy plants. I may be just remembering the plants because he was such a nurturing person. He also had a photo of himself with a child on his bulletin board, which I took as a good sign. He was very accessible, listened to me, and ordered a blood test to find out the level of meds in my blood, which indeed was too low. He stayed longer than six months before moving on, and I was very sorry to see him go.

Let me tell you right away that I am uncomfortable recounting my experience with depression. Not because it's painful to talk about (though it is), but because I created this web page about depression to help other people, not to go on and on about myself. However, I can't forget how illuminating William Styron's account of his depression in Darkness Visible was to me before I was diagnosed and treated for depression. It really was the book that made me recognize my illness and therefore led me to seek professional help. Since Styron is so much more eloquent than I could ever be, I urge you to read his book. If nothing else, it will help you explain your illness to other people, if you have it, or help you to understand a loved one's pain if you are close to someone who suffers from the "black dog", as Churchill called it. If you are interested in my story, read on. You may recognize yourself or someone else in it.

“It was not really alarming at first, since the change was subtle, but I did notice that my surroundings took on a different tone at certain times: the shadows of nightfall seemed more somber, my mornings were less buoyant, walks in the woods became less zestful, and there was a moment during my working hours in the late afternoon when a kind of panic and anxiety overtook me…” - William Styron, Darkness Visible

Sometimes the Depression Self-Screening Test is just too clinical, and the symptoms don’t really “click” with you. Some of the criteria are general, and if you’re suffering from depression, specifics are easier to understand. I know that I might not have diagnosed myself with depression just on the basis of those symptoms. I had no change in appetite, and no sleep problems (waking up was what was difficult). Below are some un-clinical symptoms.

• Things just seem “off” or “wrong.”
• You don’t feel hopeful or happy about anything in your life.
• You’re crying a lot, either at nothing, or something that normally would be insignificant.
• You feel like you’re moving (and thinking) in slow motion.
• Getting up in the morning requires a lot of effort.
• Carrying on a normal conversation is a struggle. You can’t seem to express yourself.
• You’re having trouble making simple decisions.
• Your friends and family really irritate you.
• You’re not sure if you still love your spouse/significant other.
• Smiling feels stiff and awkward. It’s like your smiling muscles are frozen.
• It seems like there’s a glass wall between you and the rest of the world.
• You’re forgetful, and it’s very difficult to concentrate on anything.
• You’re anxious and worried a lot.
• Everything seems hopeless.
• You feel like you can’t do anything right.
• You have recurring thoughts of death and/or suicidal impulses. Suicide seems like a welcome relief.
• You have a feeling of impending doom - you think something bad is going to happen, although you may not be sure what.
• In your perception of the world around you, it’s always cloudy. Even on sunny days, it seems cloudy and gray.
• You feel as though you’re drowning or suffocating.
• You’re agitated, jumpy and and anxious much of the time.
• Your senses seem dulled; food tastes bland and uninteresting, music doesn’t seem to affect you, you don’t bother smelling flowers anymore.
• Incessantly and uncontrollably into your mind comes the memory of every failure, every bad or uncomfortable experience, interview or date, like a torrent of negativity.

How depression may affect your life.

Note: I wrote this a few years ago, and it has made its way around the Net uncredited. If you want to reproduce it in any way, please look at the terms of the Creative Commons license at the bottom of the page.

Please feel free to post your comment about what depression feels like. Don’t post:

• Questions about depression
• Comments on how you think it should be managed, including finding God
• Requests for other people to email you
• Your depression “biography”

Anything like this will not be posted. I’ve been a little lax about what I let slip through in the past, but the comments are getting too far off track. If you need to discuss any of these things, the message board is a good alternative.

Please note that comments are moderated - if you post a comment, it will not show up until it is approved, and this can take a few days sometimes, since I have to wade through hundreds of comments from spammers as well as legitimate ones.

You can find the archives of the comments from the old site here .

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