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03-09-2008 20:40
 
Hellish nightmares
i fear everything in my life, i feel like i'm being eaten by this illness. every male role model in my life died, i do not know what it means to be a man, 
i fear things going wrong, i fear getting into trouble even when i've done nothing wrong, 
 
i fear things, everything 
i fear going out 
i fear life, yet i don't want to die 
 
i want this hell to end 
i want a good life, i want to smile again, i want to make something of myself 
yet all i can see is the worst things happen, fear negativity are now my only friends 
i feel so alone, i feel sad so much of the time 
I WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT FEAR AND WITHOUT THIS DAMN HELL OF AN ILLNESS 
 
I JUST WANT CONTROL, I JUST WANT TO BE ME AGAIN
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Brent