03-06-2008 08:54

It's like you're missing some vital bit of DNA, like there's some instinct you ought to have developed, that everyone else has and doesn't even notice, that would enable you to function, to figure out how to talk, make friends, leave your room. You can't even force yourself to do things you like, much less things you ought. 
Like you're watching the world through a grimy window and it's your own fault you're there but you can't pick up your feet to get out. 
Like a heavy body veil that makes you ache and muffles all the light and noise and color you barely remember. 
Like it'd be easier if you could stop waking up. 
Sometimes your self-loathing scares you, and sometimes you can't even feel that. You're trapped in your own head. You feel stupid because you can no longer concentrate or make sense of anything.

Guest