01-27-2008 11:38

whatsthepoint...

sometimes i try to work it all out in my head...if i do this itll make it better...if i do that itll make it better but its just a vicious circle.sometimes i daydream then something clicks and i think to myself there must be an answer..somewhere out there...THERE HAS TO BE A REASON. sometimes i think that if we suffer in this life like we all are right now...maybe we're setting ourselves up for an amazing life somewhere else. maybe all this pain is for a reason?or am i just tryin to convinc myself to keep going everyday..makin a fool of myself...comparing who i am now to who i was and bein too proud to admit it. well yeah i guess we're not alone but lets face it ..it doesnt make you feel any better does it? i hate not having the answer. i hate watching other people float through life and take everything in their stride. whywhywhy.im too scared to die.im too scared to live. its like your caught in this world between life and death and that frustration of not being able to put a word on it..the frustration of not ebing able to describe it is how i would define depression or whatever it is that we're all going through.im raging at life...but il keep on fighting..dont let this beat you.dont let it win.im 17 and feel so alone but i no i cant give up.i have too much pride to give up.im nto angry at people..im angry with life and thats the best thing to be angry with.hold that burning torch up in the air and scream i wont let u win.il beat u. i have to.  
good luck guys. hang on in there x

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