01-19-2008 22:51

You'll Never Amount To Nothing

I was told early in life by my adoptive mother that I would never amount to anything and she was right. Here I am 49 years old living in a basement, jobless, penniless and hopeless. I am just so tired of trying and failing only to try and fail again. I think about killing myself but never will because I have a deep belief in God. The best part of the day is to sleep and the worst part is having to wake up. Wake up knowing that I am nowhere and going nowhere. I am sick of hearing that there is always someone who has it worse because even though that is true, there is always someone who has it better. I am tired of hear just hang on, things will get better. Just when is that suppose to happen? I\'m alone, getting older and it seems real bleak that I will ever find someone to love me. I don\'t even have a car to find a job. It\'s the middle of winter and that is what my soul feels like, the middle of winter. The real kicker is that no one really cares. Every time I think I am on my feet, the rug gets pulled out from under me. All I have to hold on to is my faith in God and I just wish He would help me not to be such a loser. You would think lonely hurting people would find each other and help each other but they never do. We are alone in our lonliness, misery and pain.

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