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12-06-2007 07:26
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I lost a loved one in September, and I may be losing another, which I cannot bear to go through in such a short period of time. I cry all the time. I can't laugh. I don't look forward to anything. I used to have so much fun in my life. I don't want to talk to anyone, husband, friends, family. It is such an effort to answer the phone, that I hardly ever do now. I'm a runner, and I can't run anymore. I only feel okay when I'm asleep. I'm terrified every minute. I feel guilty that my husband has to deal with me like this. It has been best said, I don't want to live, but I don't want to die. I just don't want to be.
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