09-16-2007 09:45

What it's like

I can relate to all of you here. When I'm not depressed I do not think of myself as a depressed person and do not like to admit that I will go through depressions where thoughts of suicide enter my mind. When this all first started I felt as if I was suffocating everything seemed much worse thn it really was because when my depression subsided and I thought back to the moments I felt helpless I remember thinking wow that wasn't that bad. It is not just an emotional feeling it is physical as well. My head felt like it was a thousand pounds and I'd frequently get bad stomach pains. I'd thik I was the most horrible person in the world and my therapist would ask me what have I ever done that would make me think that..I sat there blank..I had no idea but the feelings were real and very scary. After coming out I realized my whole family suffers from this. I thought no ..nobody feels the way I do..but after reading everyones comments I realize I am not alone and these feelings are very real but remember they are irrational! ALl I can say is that this will end ..you will feel happy again so don't do anything like kill yourself because it will end it will and you will look back at that moment and think "I am so glad I am here." My depression typically lasts about 5 months where everyday I feel as you do. AFter taking medicine I know my thoughts are irrational and I try not to pay attention to them and continue to do the things I like to do because depression will not win!

http://deanna41786@yahoo.com

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