05-02-2008 12:24

Shadow of Yourself

I feel like I never sleep. I just keep replaying things in my mind and how they could have been different if I would have only done this or if someone would have only told me that. I cant wait to get into bed or watch tv... anything to distract me from important things that I should be dealing with. I dont feel like I should be able to enjoy anything because I go to bed thinking that I dont matter and maybe I wont wake up. I often times feel immobile or stuck. When in social situations I feel like I dont have anything to offer to conversation. I cry constantly when at home thinking of how I used to be and where it all went wrong. I feel like I want to disappear but just cant. Depression feels like you have given up on yourself and who you used to be. You turn into a shadow person. Sometimes there are glimmers of who you are but rarely do they stay.

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