How Depression May Affect Your Life 256


Image: Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

    • Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
    • You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
    • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  • You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
  • You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
  • You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
  • You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
  • You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
  • You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
  • You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
  • You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
  • You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
  • You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.

I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.


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256 thoughts on “How Depression May Affect Your Life

  • ambs

    I have wrote on here before, nearly a year ago now. But tbh I have been depressed/anxious for years. Even when I was little, I got extremely anxious over little things, if I had a stomach bug I would think I was gonna die litterly. Now, I’m 17 I have zero motivation to do anything, was bullied at school extremely bad which has left me an anxious/depressed mess. I mostly spend all day either watching TV or on Facebook where no one talks to me, my best friend deleted her account and said she might make another one, she hasn’t but I have her number but my phone broke.I can’t go outside, unless I feel like it, I have panic attacks where I feel like being sick and my heart races if I go further than the shops that are a 2-3 minute walk behind my house. I can’t be bothered to have a bath half the time, and will only just about clean my teeth because teeth are more important. I can’t eat atm either because if I force myself I feel sick. I went to the doctors like a year ago, but they thought I just had anxiety but I know its both. I haven’t had a good life to top it off, we cant even afford to go anywhere, also no one has a car, so we’d have to catch a bus, costs more. I was bullied since I was 8 years old until 2-3 months ago, in the street and around town by this boy (around my age) who apparently has ADHD and he got little kids on me as well as his cousin. Got bullied by his mates from school in town, or by the supermarket. Basically I’ve been picked on by people who already have some kind of mental condition or are on drugs. I was ganged up on at primary and secondary school loads and even pushed down steps and was threatened to be put in hospital by this girl, who used to be my friend all because she took sides with the rest of them. I have done nothing wrong, I only used to mess around at school but ii stopped and that’s when everything started. As you can see I still can’t get over it, even though my ex friend apologised , only because my sister got involved-otherwise she would have probably killed me. I have no life and can’t stop thinking of the past all the time, I can’t stop.

  • Nick

    For about 10 years now I have been struggling to live day to day life. There have been plenty of times depression didn’t even seem like a part of me, but often and consistently it’s all I feel in me. I am always confused and stressed. I am always tired, sometimes I feel like the whole day is just me passing time til I can get back in bed, and try to forget about all the painful things I know and feel. The worst is by far guilt. I am always sorry for the way I am. I feel sorry for everything. Mostly and most painfully for being a shitty partner for my wife. Depression is horrible when you’re alone, but at least before her I was only hurting myself. I am very sensitive to almost everything. I am very negative and pessimistic. I’m told I care too much, and that I don’t give a shit, by the same people, in the same day. I have no interest in pop culture, politics, things like that. I don’t see anyone as “above” me, or the other way around. I wish I was a healthy, energetic person because all I do is think, mostly about people living in much worse places and through horrible troubles. I am not suicidal, I’ve lived through that already when I was younger, it isn’t part of me to hurt my wife and family like that. But if nasa said a comet was gonna kill us all next week, I’d likely crack a smile. Nothing feels good, even the things I used to like. I can’t find a way to let myself go, to express myself. The worse I feel, the worse I make things for the people around me. Vicious cycle was always thrown around and I never personally understood the term until I saw it like this. If you are hopeless, suicidal, lonely, desperate, angry, tired, aggravated, stressed, maybe a little crazy, all day everyday, and still trying to get through the days, I know and feel for you too. It is the hardest thing I’ve come up against in my young life. No one I know is anything like me. The only thing I feel I can hold on to is the hope that someday I’ll find the strength and drive I’ve always been wanting. There is something deep in my mind and heart that I want to get out, I want to put some good into this world before my life is over. I have a strong faith in my religion, but I can’t stand people blindly shoving it down everyone’s throats. I don’t even go to church because how can I learn to be selfless and be as good as I can while the priest tells me how wrong certain things are, just because he says so, or because a book says so? that’s a little peek at the confusion I was talking about. Try to help others, anyone whenever you have a chance. Even scumbags, that’s that above or below me thing. Might help you feel a little better. If depression is lasting in some of our lives, I guess the only way to conquer it is to put up a lasting fight. I haven’t figured it out yet, but that’s the way my days go, a constant struggle inside myself. I hope you all find peace someday, it’s what I’m always looking for. I hope we all find fulfillment in some way. At the end of everyday all the shit I feel and think and fear might stick around, but one feeling that never leaves me is something I haven’t realized yet. I don’t know what it is, just something there always, something I want, or want to do. I just stare all day, waiting to understand it.

    • sharon

      I don’t understand why I was born.I have children and grandchildren. I do what I have to do but, that’s it. I believe life is a waste of time. Why are we here. What’s the big deal.

    • chantelle

      Why can’t life be so simply n fare I’ve got no one I want even got friends I feel weird compared to anyone else I tell my mum why give birth to a happy thing like me I never had a job I fell pregnant at 16. I was in a violent relationship where he constantly use me as a punch bag so when I had my daughter Lois I was a mess I looked after her for 4years n I wasn’t coping so my dad had her and then he put her into care how could ur owe father do that. N 3yrs later I had another little girl that was going really great but that’s gone tips up to cause he’s constantly jelous n my daughter is in his care so I had to leave n that’s broken my heart I just don’t know what to do anymore

  • pranjal

    I jst lukd into dis site nd found dat m prety familiar wid ol da abov stated flngs . M nt able to speak mah hrt out ,i hav no1 whom I cn share mah evrythng wid .i dnt lyk being oudoors anymor ,no gatherings wid frnds ,i jst lyk being quite and realy dnt knw wat I fl lyk . I realy dnt knw wedr m actualy geting into it or nt bt yeah I do try escape frm evrythng . I dnt evn fl lyk doing suicide or anythng bt yeah I do fl lyk biting myself ,hurting myself .now its realy geting hard to deal

  • April

    jesus everyone one of these except for the over eatting applys to me. hate talking about it to anyone if when their trying to help i cant handle looking weak most people cant tell ive gotten that good at faking

  • emily

    OMG i this article completely resonated with me… i mean literally everything yo said is happening with me… ive been going to conselling, not working so far, hopefully it dose soon… anyways this is the first time ive seen a good symptoms diagnostic

  • Lauren

    This has helped alot i thought i was diffrent from everyone else i felt like everyone was moving on with there life eccept me i was going nowhere i stayed in the house days on end didnt want to see anyone i still feel like this but im goung to make an effort to change i cant live like this amymore good luck people ❤️

  • This Chick

    Yep, this list is pretty accurate. I would say about 85% of it applies to myself. This is especially true for the parts in regards to keeping a conversation. It’s funny actually that I could easily write a whole book about anything and everything on the internet to complete strangers, but can barely hold an interesting conversation with an acquaintance and even with what few friends I’ve been able to keep. It’s really a huge fear of failure, or a worry that what you say is considered boring and you’re not really worth their time. You catch yourself thinking about how the person you’re talking to gets so easily engaged in a conversation with other people and yet it’s so hard for the two of you to even say more than a few sentences to each other.

    Meeting up with people, making plans with them, and getting nervous about having to keep the evening interesting is a whole lot of effort when you’re depressed. So you put off hanging out with them and before long weeks pass by or even months and it gets even harder to rebuild that connection. :/

    • nilisha

      It applies not completely but 75% on me…I don’t feel lyk doing anything…I read the messages and leave them unreplied…I feel sad all the time…I feel angry if anyone says anything to me even if it is normal…I don’t want to eat…I don’t have any plan or dreams for my future…I feel like nothing is left…I often cry without reason…I forget everything… I’m not happy…help me

  • Ashlynn

    It really sucks when your feeling these symptoms at a young age, it sickens me knowing I want to drink my grandpas hard liquor when I’m only 14. It hurts too knowing you can’t stop these things, and your parents won’t get you help..

    • Laura

      I am also 14, just yesterday my aunt pointed out that for years she has been wondering if i was depressed. I feel pretty much the same way, but at least now i know why i have struggled with everything and have never felt happy. I still haven’t told my mom about it but i’m going to soon, I hope you do the same if you haven’t. I feel as though we both deserve to happy after being so miserable.

  • Cindy

    Depression is horrible. Everything is an effort, even taking a shower . Nothing seems to make me happy and I’ve lost interest in everything . I don’t feel like eating much or socialising . I’ve just started on a new medication and I’m hoping that eventually the zest for life comes back .

  • Cameron

    I know its a late comment but starting to feel like I don’t even want to live anymore and also I am nothing like how I used to be and I am constantly on anti depressants and anxiety tablets which are not doing a thing feel like I’m drowning in my own hell

  • Brian

    I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety in 1996 (in my early 30’s). Every several years the medication I’m taking stops working effectively. This is where I am now. I’m trying Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) along with med adjustment but I’m still miserable after 6 weeks. That list above is my life now plus add side effects from new meds. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to feel good and positive again.

    • Claire

      I feel like that to i have had depression what i turned 21 and now am 35 i have been on antydepression on and off but i dont not feel there work

      • Billy

        Hey claire i have every symptom on that list as well. Its soul destroying add to how bad i was feeling my wife left me and went with another guy who now stays with her and my 3 kids 2weeks after breaking up. Sun is shining n om just sitting their no ontrest in anything. I get my kids at the weekend bit now im even struggling to have FUN with them i honestly dnt know the last time i laughed. Ive tried all those nasty anti sepressants and they do not work.

  • sud

    I was depressed from last 3 years.ths pain has now become unbearable.this when i searched on google and reached this site.this symptoms are the exact things goin in my life.now my mind has started making thnking of suicide.when i cme 2 knw dat there is a solution for this prblm i made my mind to tell my mother.when i told her she started blaming me for excuses.nw m feelin dat i hve made d bigest mistake of my life..nw it got a step close for suicide..

    • Tharun

      I’m 13 and I’ve got the hell of my life. Depression for the past 8 months wat to do? All fate

      Cure..
      Be carefree yolo…

      • Jen

        Please talk to somebody. People are here to listen, my baby brother was 25 and took his life last week please know help is everywhere

  • Sara

    I think I have always had depression. It only just got worse and worse. I have been on wellbutrin for depression and adderall for ADD since 2009. But the doc won’t up the dosage. I have kids at home so I try to be happy around them. All the things above apply to me. In the 90’s and early 2000’s I was able to keep the house ok. Now it is a complete mess. It is all I can do to do the needed laundry with 4 boys at home and work the night shift as a nurse. I hate to cook because I don’t want to eat but I force myself to for the kids, I cry all the time at everything, a commercial, a story someone tells me about someone, the news. My son is a senior and needs to do all this stuff to get into a university, in the US it costs a lot and is a lot to do and it’s overwhelming. My husband doesn’t understand me, he thinks I’m just lazy. Like it says above I try to do different things to help myself but nothing helps. I can barely sleep and I worry about everything. I never have enough money for anything. I feel so guilty for not walking the dogs even though they go out to play in the yard I should walk them, other people do. I am just so tired. It takes so much effort to take a shower, to even put on clothes. I try so hard to be a good mom. I don’t think the kids know I have any problem. Well my 17 year old must, he acts like he hates me. He never wants to be home, I work nights so must try to sleep during the days and he resents me for that. He hates how the house is always a mess. He asks me why the house can’t be like it was when he was little, and he is embarrassed to have friends over. My oldest son lives with my parents because he is an adult and drug addict and cannot be around his siblings because he is drunk or high etc. I feel like such a failure with him, doc says he had depression to, that’s why he self medicated, I was taking him to a counselor but nothing helped and then he got addicted to drugs and alcohol and he is always trying to be in recovery. this makes me very depressed too. I don’t see a way out. Meds don’t work, the doc won’t up my dosage or change the meds. They gave me trazedone for sleep but I’m afraid to take it because I know as a nurse that wellbutrin, adderall and trazedone are not good to take all together, they increase the risk of seizures. No one understands, I don’t want to talk to any of my friends, or anyone beyond my children and who I have to talk to at work. It’s just to much effort. What can i do? I feel like there is no hope.

  • nina

    I would prefer being dead,life with depression is like no life,you feel all the time tired and usless,everything is meaningless and you know you cant be with anyone in relationship as u dont want to ruin someone else life.I regret i was born to be honest.

  • Skye

    Most of the time I feel like I’m the only one who feels what I feel. And I feel terrible for being like this. I have a nearly 2 year old son and I sleep as much as I can until I have to do something for him. Everything is too much of an effort. If someone is around they can snap me out of it and I’m super mum . I love him more than anything. But I feel like shit because he’s dad gets up in the mornings while I sleep in. While I’m asleep I’m unaware that I’m being like this.. he tries to get me up and I get angry and tell him to leave me alone. Once I’m up I say sorry I help with things and we relax on the couch I fall back asleep. I don’t know why I’m so tired all the time! Then at night when I should be sleeping I’m either awake or just woke up and cant get back to sleep. There is no effort in my day to day life, i want to be happy and enjoy my life with my family. I love them more than anything in this world. I cant bring them down with me 🙁 i cant even go shopping anymore unless someone is with me and i dont even want to go still. Rent snd bills dont get paid because i cant leave the house like a normal person. This made me cry too, this explains me. I have put on more weight than i ever have in my whole entire life snd it makes it even worse for me. I feel for all of you, i really need help. Just dont know how to go about it and where to begin. Im so ashamed of myself!

  • Someone

    I hate being an intelligent person.. because that was one of the things that made me depressed since about 13 years ago.. the worst thing to me is the fact that I only found out about depression a year ago.. and only recently I realized I might be really suffering from a depression. I’ve been ignoring my work lately and all I wanna do is laying hoping there will be a miraculuous thing happens to me.. I do think it’s better if I just go to hell, but the people who I love is what holding myself from commiting suicide. And up until now, I still believe in God and I’ve learnt to appreciate life.. and I appreciate it. But hell why am I facing all these circumstances.. what have I said or done wrong in the past that now I’m struggling with this damn stupid depression?!

  • Joseph C.

    I didn’t understand what this feeling was. I’ve been listless a LOT. I think too much all of the time and when I talk to people I used to call my close friends I feel like I’ve become too harsh a person. Like I’ve changed dramatically since I’ve last talked to them. I get mad and sad at the drop of a hat and I pretty despise the world. I don’t know what to do really. I don’t like the idea of having to be on a type of medication to change this mentality. I don’t believe people when they talk about how good a person they think I am, but there has to be a way, right? A way to change how I think and act. Is there a way? Maybe the solutions we’re all looking for are similar in theme yet different in the execution. Maybe. Just a thought.

  • LoLO

    Even writing on this comment box seems so hard enough for me. I feel like lazy. Empty. My hopes for changing this kind of irresistible routine had been on its peaks then just by the time I’m doing it, I don’t know why, I just feel not continuing with it again. I’ve taken a huge bunches of personality and depression tests online every time I feel this way and still I don’t know why if it is between helping me to get through or even not, rather wasting my time. I’m tired of this episodes, it keeps repeating again and again.

  • Stephen

    I am so tired. I constantly feel suicidal. I have not been able to have children of my own as nobody wanted me when I was younger and my wife left me for someone who had better prospects.
    I’d like to die in my sleep.
    I can’t concentrate and am losing my job. At work I have been treated like a leper by my previous colleagues, who don’t talk to me any more. I feel hated and isolated. I have been off work in the past with depression but am now working full time.
    I spend most of my spare time on the couch watching TV.