How Depression May Affect Your Life

Image: Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

    • Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
    • You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
    • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  • You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
  • You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
  • You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
  • You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
  • You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
  • You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
  • You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
  • You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
  • You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
  • You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.

I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.


256 thoughts on “How Depression May Affect Your Life

  1. To everybody commenting here, I want to let you know that depression is a dark place, but you can come out of it. You can emerge from the other side and live a happy life. How you get from A to B is your own story, I can’t help you with the specific details. Only you can journey out. But please believe me…you are intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive and kind. You will get through this and your good heart will shine. Just hold on and you will get through it.

  2. I am 17 years old and I suffer depression every now and then. It normally happens to me after I experience a dissapointing day after going out and not finding what I expected in the way the people I hang out with disappoint me by either not showing up, being boring, or just don’t caring about me. I am a soccer player and normally during the periods of times I feel like this after a dissapointment my performance goes down and that sometimes affects me and my team as well in the way that I play bad knowing I can play better when I feel good. I need help, because I am a good person that is just shy and needs to talk to someone in order to feel good, but that is very hard for me sometimes, mainly when I’m depressed. Also as a foreign student, it is even worst by the fact that I live in a foreign country and I don’t have many friends or familiars living here. I’m Peruvian and I moved here when I was 13, and I had to learn a lot in order to become mature and learn not to expect people to do or act as you wish or expect they should, because it ends up in dissapointment and afterwards depression. I am an athlete and I need to control these feelings because soccer for me is the most important thing in my life, and I wanna be at my best all the time. Please if there is someone that can help me out to control myself from feeling like shit, it would be a lot appreciated because for me soccer is a priority in my life that I take very seriously. Also, I never had a girlfriend and sometimes I feel big dissapointment when a girl that I like turns out not to be what I expected, which is also a problem that I have to deal with.

  3. I’m reading all of these bullets and thinking, some of these are basically my life. I feel like im at a place where I can’t even tell if im depressed, I just know it seem like im a different person. I force myself to be around people so that I don’t feel the depression, but then I find myself not really knowing what to say, so I usually speak about life or things happening. Its really hard because im in/around people in the fashion/music world and it seems like they’re feeling the same way. I just really hope mental illness becomes a bigger subject than it already is because everyone is effected by it, you just never know. I have social anxiety but I still model…you can never fully know a person’s struggles just by looking at them.

  4. thing is……i wish i could help you all….but i can’t even help myself right now….i have everything i need and wanted….but i still feel like I’m dead inside i can’t cope with this much longer and can see utterly no point in my life. yet strangely enough i see a point in yours.

  5. I’m 21 years old and I can definitely say that this list pretty much defines who I am right now and back in days. I never smoke or done drugs in my entire life, but I’m still depressed as fuck. Few months ago, I’ve been researching about myself that why I keep losing my memories pretty quickly and it mostly turns out that I had ADHD. I asked about this to my mom and she said I was right and that I had it since I was a little kid(which explains why I’m so fucking retarded). Also, during back in high school, I made some decent friends who weren’t even close to me that much and extremely few close friends as well but I was still depressed as fuck. It was probably because I never had any girlfriend in my entire life and the fact that I always met assholes all around me and they usually bothers the fuck out of me most of the time. I guess they were sort of like bullies in a way and yes, this happened even in elementary and middle schools as well. Also, I feel like a total fucking garbage because I had shit tons of runny noses and constant sneezing back in high school and sometimes these days as well(seriously thou, fuck allergy). Back in US, even thou I was depressed and negative as fuck, I still had a pretty good decent time. After I finished my HS, me and my family decided to move back to my home country. I told them I never wanted to go back, but my family forced me because they assume that I will not survive in US by myself. One day, right after we moved there, I was more depressed than ever. It’s been over a year now since I’m back to my home country, and all I can say is that I missed my friends and the beautiful sky in US. Ironic thing is, I didn’t even care about my friends that much(I’m sure this feeling applies almost to everyone who just move to foreign country). In here, the weather is so humid as hell that I sweat so much outside unlike any other people like a fucking worrying pig hanging upside down right about to get throat sliced up in a meat factory. I don’t know when but one day I felt like I lost interest in everything except watching movies at home and listening to music. LOTS of music. I’ll admit I been crushed with a LOT of girls back in US but almost half of them I don’t even know their personality and other half didn’t give a shit about me when I talk to them. Also, I’m still fucking preparing to go to college by learning foreign language while others especially all of my friends are already in college studying and working harder than ever…. I also never had a job experience before but I wanted to have one so that I can be independent in my life and stop relying on others but my family believes that I should keep myself busy at studying and fucking stay with them “for now”. I’m sick of who I am the fact that I’m being controlled by my family like I’m sort of their fucking pet. One day, I got so sick of myself that I took out a box cutter and almost attempted suicide by almost slitting my throat. But of course I didn’t. I knew it was not going to be worth it, and if I did there is no going back… I don’t even know who I am anymore, maybe it’s just because I’m just a lonely, lazy, retarded and useless shit now(My self esteem is pretty damn low as you can see). Hell, even my family thinks that I’m not studying hard enough that I will have no future what so ever. They’re probably right at this point since I feel like I’m a useless piece of shit that never deserve to have life in a first place. I feel like a emotionless robot whenever I’m outside in public…. It just feels so fucking weird that this sort of feeling feels like it makes no difference to lobotomy….(Lobotomy is so much worst, I know) I tried to gain some hope of humanity by trying to make some new friends at a place where I learn my foreign language, but unfortunately it turns out that no one wants to be my buddy after all. In fact, it was so much fucking harder to make friends unlike in US since most of them were Chinese people speaking their native language at each other. I’m pretty antisocial when it comes to making new friends, but I decided to start a conversation with this French chick who was literally the only one that spoke English in my class…. We were cool for like 2 to 3 days and one day after that something in her emotion tells me that she got annoyed by me and doesn’t want to talk to me anymore probably cause she got bored of me and the fact that I’m a depressed fuck after all… then one day she shut me off completely by ditching me alone. So I decided to move on by ignoring her completely(Ignoring was my main survival tool that I’ve used frequently to avoid people that I’m not comfortable with back in HS, and I knew and felt that she didn’t want to be with me anyway so…. Yeah, I’m an ass I know). I mean let’s face it, no one wants to be with depressing and boring people like us….. Ever since that day, I’ve been in my phone nonstop whenever I was outside, searching up mostly about suicide and depression…. stuffs like that. It’s really hard to contact my old friends since we have completely different timezone, which fucking sucks. My family loves it here, but I fucking don’t. I even kept telling my family that I need a serious help with my depression, but no one gives a shit because we simply do not have enough money for that… and the fact that I need to keep studying for the college that I need to apply in future…. its stressful to think about it. Seriously thou, like how can I fucking do that when I’m fucking depressed and wanting to commit suicide, huh?!?!???!!!! I mean, who fucking doesn’t want a great future…. everyone does of course. In fact, I wanted to fight back my depression…. I’m so sick of being a pushover and being fucking suicidal most of the time. I’m so sick of being fucking lonely and negative all the time. Most importantly of all, I’m sick of being weak mentally and physically and the fact that I lost my passion and interest which are the key for my decent future. I want to overcome all of these personal issues one day, but I don’t have enough urge to do so. If anyone had experienced similar stuffs that I mentioned, feel free to share and don’t give up who you really are. You know what, fuck that… get some help immediately. I know that is how some people overcome most of their personal issues and stuffs, so yeah. Oh, for those who are still reading my pointless long-ass comment, I’m actually Korean who just moved back to South Korea. Also, I’m currently learning at Korean Language Center. I don’t know about you guys, but my personal experience fucking sucks ever since I’m back to my home country. Ever since I moved back to Seoul, everything feels so different and numb around me. I even hate my Asian culture and the fact that I’m Asian. Because of this, some people made fun of me back in US assuming that I’m Chinese by calling me a “fucking chink”. Also, I hate my appearance as well. I’m actually even afraid of myself that I will lose all the humanity in my fragile mind one day and become a cold blooded criminal or a psychopathic killer(As you can see, I definitely need help). I’m also afraid of the fact that I’ll lose my fluent English speaking skill one day if I mastered Korean language completely since I have ADHD and a terrible fucking memory. So here I am, sitting my depressing lazy ass in a desktop ranting about most of my personal issues to the website I randomly bump into. Thank you for reading my sickeningly negative rant about my life.

  6. Makes me sad to hear all of these young people that are struggling mostly from low self-esteem and parent problems…I feel as if I shouldn’t complain ! I am older and my reason for coming here was my main concern for my life,which affects my 2 daughters and my husband because I have lost 50lbs in the past year without even thinking about it,I wasn’t too heavy just big boned and physically in shape. I’ve had a lot going in my life for the past 5 yrs with my daughters addiction and her being in and out of the judicial system has been a great stress and strain on all of us and our finances.I guess I thought I had a grip on everything until I took care of my elderly mother and lost her ,my best friend in the world…That’s when I just lost a small interest in eating,and then a year later my father passed from pneumonia and now my desire has all but gone away.I have lost all desire for food. I eat just because I know I have to,I take a couple of bites and I feel as if I am going to throw up so naturally I stop eating.i have lost so much weight I look unhealthy

  7. This is describing my life at the moment, I’m doing most of this, it started when I finished sixth form for the summer which is over 2 months. I also got rejected for a job and have just failed my AS levels, I’ve had to move to another part of my college, away from my friends and I feel like such a failure. I’m constantly been compared to my cousin who always passes with A*s. I just feel like I have nothing to live for, I don’t even know what I won’t to do in the future and I’m nearly 18, I’ve got to make all these decisions on what I want to do and I can’t think of anything, I just come up blank, I barely eat, stay in bed all day, read loads of fanfiction and watch endless TV. I also hate the fact that I’ve grown up, why couldn’t I have stayed a kid and not have to worry about life- this started when I watched Peter Pan again and realised that my childhoods over. I can’t talk to anyone I know about it all, cause I know they just won’t understand, they’ll say I’m been silly and it’s all because I’m lazy. I honestly don’t want to live anymore, my life isn’t set up for success and I can’t stand dissapointing everyone anymore, I’ve started starving myself, so that I’ll lose weight and try make myself feel better about myself.

  8. Im still a young teen, im feeling like absolute shit, lost a good job, no money dress like a tramp, dont like or trust anyone, ive realy lost my old self. Not being big headed but i was funny and always the guy to get a laugh with. I was always sexualy active trying to get in emoungst everything. But now im not myself. Realy realy want to spend all my time with family but i just cant seem to strike a conversation. I dont know what will happen from now on.

  9. Depression has the shape of a circle. I started drinking to kill the pain, but it only makes things worse;I feel more depressed since I started, I mean, really started. I know exactly how it feels not to want to get up in the morning, although I do get up to go to work. Why do I work? The money I earn allows me to not get out of bed at the weekend. Of course, I could be a bum, but that would only make me feel even more wretched: the grime, the cold, the hunger, the loneliness. Not that I’m not lonely. I stopped talking to people because they’re only there to hurt or harm you, steal, kill, what not. They’re all awfully selfish and greedy. Family too. They’re people just the same. You can go on forever in utter pain and nobody even notices, let alone cares. I’m all dried up inside. I look at people, and I know, I feel it, I know I scare them. There’s something blank in the way I look at them, as if I saw through them, which most of the time I do. They more me to death, the whole lot of them. I really wish I could help you, guys, but it’s beyond me. I can’t help myself. And I know the day will come. Will come. Will.

  10. im maria well im feel im depress its very hard to overcome it .ever since im feel about to my self until i want to do suicide ..thats a crazy mind think.not until i got a child my life was incredible i want to live and work hard more for her future ..i change i work hard to become good mom..and i do good thing so one day she will be proud me…but not until she died in young age 4 the sad she died im not in her side .coz im working overseas. im got hatred to god why she must died.but still still blessing o got lot people a round me so very supportive and i try to be look strong out side they said im strong and got easyly overcome well im just smilling they dont know behind those smile…the deppression its a very scary feeling .you got mood swing,and you dont know what in your mind and just in quick you will do such a wrong decision like .suicide,and all stuff can affect to your friend,and especially family..
    right now im scared coz i know i got depression i got those symtom thats i got heart full of hatered,i dont want to feel anything,love,care i just want to be alone..and i dont want to tell these to my family i dont want be to worried.and im really scared until when i can be control it…

  11. I don’t know what to do, I’ve just really been struggling lately. I don’t want to do anything and everything stresses me out to the point of breaking down. I feel so out of it and social interaction exhausts me. I just want to go home

  12. depression for me comes in waves. ill be doing fine then i start feeling numb and i feel myself fading. at this point the numbness intensifies and i don’t wanna move or talk to anyone at all. everything is moving so slow and i really dont want to move. simple things become struggles.

  13. I’m not sure what I feel anymore. I’m always sitting on my room watching netflix, or youtube, anything to keep me occupied. I feel lazy, lazier than I’ve ever felt. I put off chores my mom asks me to do, I’m always making excuses when my friends ask me to hang out. I cry at the littlest things, and sometimes at nothing at all. I keep telling myself that if I want help, I need to tell someone first, but the utter thought of talking to someone about it makes my anxiety levels shoot up. I just wish I could tell my parents that I’m not mad at them because they did something wrong, tell my friends that I’m not avoiding them, it’s just I’m just too lazy to leave the house. I just feel like everyone’s mad at me. I can’t remember what it was like when I didn’t feel like this.

  14. I used to be beautiful. Now I can’t even shower. I don’t go outside. So desperate to have me back. But I think she’s gone. My daughter is 30 yrs old. She’s a drug addict. That’s only one of my problems. I’m trying!

    • You are still beautiful… Every creature created by God is the most beautiful .. Just that ur perception of seeing u has changed.. Tell everyday that you r beautiful.. Beauty is not what we se e outside.. Its our inner beauty ..

  15. i’m suffering from hopeless & intrest less to any work. this is directly affected to my education so i’m can’t be study in exam time i’m badfeeling in study time. i’m can’t study concentratly so please help me

  16. How can we snap out of this? I know I’m going through depression becausee there is no joy in life. I’m craving excitement and happiness and conversation and a partner who has an energy and drive in life. Depression is horrible. The more you try to fight it the more you become trapped. I know the low mood, sensitivity and sadness has been there since I was a child. I can’t get close to anyone in relationships because I don’t know how to maintain it or bring them into my life on a daily basis. I get very frustrated, angry, moody and controlling and can be abusive and boring and extremely negative. I live in a negative world. I have ruined my relationship which I held onto for 10 years because of fear of my illness that I think if people really see my true self they will run away and my partner is still here despite my illness. He dosent help me recover he is just there for the sake of it. There is no relationship there. With him I don’t have to fake it but I know will have to fake it to find someone.

  17. Life is precious… These are testing times these too shall pass… Have faith in God.. Pray.. Nothing is permanent. Just like night and day.
    Don’t lose heart.. God bless every1

    • Remember that you have been an inspiration to many people.. Rember ur past ssucces.. Remember it was only u who did it previously… U will do it..
      I know no1 will understand it till the time they face it.. I was like this 1 year ago wen I failed to understand why people feel this way but I got the answer.. Mayb sometimes there can be no reason.. Like my case.. Depression is not your fault by any chance.. It can happen to any1 anytime .. So let’s all stay positive evn in these toughest times..

  18. I feel absolutely nothing, there’s nothing, I don’t feel sad or mad or happy I feel empty, and the thought of coming out of my room to see my family makes me want to cry for some reason. The only time I “smile” is when someone’s talking to me but I don’t want to and it’s so hard. I relate to almost all of those and I don’t think my family will do anything if I tell them because they don’t know how I feel and I can’t tell them without fighting. I don’t know what to do. I’m only 13, what do I know, other than I have like freaking freak out sessions every night about how I’m gonna die when I’m older. I should have done that, and I can never sleep. Except for in the morning and during the day. I HATE therapy, it doesn’t make me feel any better about myself cause I can never get myself to talk and they always try to make me smile AND I DONT WANT TO xd my friend has depression and she was the only one that could make me smile. But we became distant over like 3 days, making up excuses as to why we needed to go. Why is my life like this, idk what to do anymore. Sometimes I feel like there’s only one solution…

  19. iknow this may be irritating to people who have depression but didnt do it, but i did a lot of self harm. i felt satisfaction in hurting myself, like i know this is what i deserve. i feel as if all the things i put a lot of effort are useless, no matter how hard i try, i know that those stuffs are crap. i’ve been thinking about suicide this past 2 years. but i’m only twelve. im scared, why am i so unhappy about life? why can’t i feel at ease? my sister notice my scars one day, but told me to keep it from my parents. should i tell the school counselor or? i just want to be normal.

  20. i show all the symptoms mentioned above.i have been felling this way since months but now it has worsened.i dont have much friends left to hangout with.i dont hnik i can handle this anymore.and whenever i share my problems with my close frnds they also cant seem to really understand me completly. i feel like like this is worst than dying

  21. Pardon me if I am out of place, but, going to the doctor frequently for headaches and believing that you have a terminal illness due to a set of symptoms that are hardly a sign of a common cold, if anything at all, is an entirely different mental illness than depression. Being convinced that you must have a terminal illness despite symptoms only amounting to those of a small head cold and a doctor finding nothing wrong is called Hypochondriasis, more commonly known as Hypochondria or Health Anxiety. Also,wearing dark colored clothes is not a sign of depression.

  22. I feel almost all these things i just cant bring myself to ask for help. If I dont do it soon i think im going to lose it one day and call it quits. Im on a losing streak

  23. I recognise and remember so many of these miserable experiences. Depression is just such a cruel place to be. You want to feel better but trying new things just seems to take so much effort. But you know, it is possible. I struggled the way you are now for 21 years until I finally realised that I had to eliminate the main cause of stress in my life, and learn to cope better with others. Recovery from depression is a kind of skills based learning. There is hope!