How Depression May Affect Your Life

Image: Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton

    • Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
    • You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
    • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  • You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
  • You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
  • You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
  • You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
  • You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
  • You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
  • You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
  • You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
  • You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
  • You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.

I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.

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248 thoughts on “How Depression May Affect Your Life

  1. All of these things are extremely scary. I’m 16 years old and don’t know if I have depression or not but I have some of these simptoms and other things that scares me for example. I gnash my teeth till my gums bleed, I get terrible headaches and stomach cramps and I want to be alone all the time I’m extremely iritable when people are around me and I cry all of the time! But among people I laugh a lot and wear this mask that shelters me from all the judgement and protects me from even more pain!!! I’m not glad that I’m not the only one that feels like this because no one deserves this 🙁

  2. I don’t think I’m depressed or at least I don’t hope so. I’m 15 and my dad past away in 2012 and afterwards everyone told me that it’s not that bad because we weren’t that close because my parents were divorced and I haven’t seen him in 6 months prior to his death. My mom even told me her first thought when she heard the news was “thank goodness”. After that our family began to have problems which ended up in a fight which led to a break up of 2 years where no one talked to or visited anyone, it was pretty bad knowing my mom was the cause of it all. Now that everything is beter my aunt organised this family reunion thing that falls on my birthday, but when I asked my. Mom wether we would go she said she didn’t want to because it will be awkward and my brother couldn’t so if I wanted to go I must go with my grandparents, so my mom would rather not be with me on my birthday than to swallow her pride and just come with. My mom suffers from major depression so maybe I can’t blame her for all the stuff I’ve gone through(she has been divorced twice, we moved 13 times in the last 11 years and we’ve gone through a financial dip 3 times but we survived everytime) we are strugeling again but this time its worse than before because it’s as if my mom just doesn’t care, she even spent the money that was intended to pay my schoolfees, I had to pay this months fees with money out of my allowance which I’m saving to pay for college. Sometimes I get these dips where I disapear into books, movies or studying and just don’t talk to anyone. Ussualy I just feel like crying all the time for no aparent reason at all so I end up crying in the shower or crying myself to sleep, and when my mom sees or hears me crying shell start to because she feels guilty ’cause of the mistakes she made and she feels like a failure so I end up comforting her instead of the other way around. Sometimes I feel like an adult all ready when I’m supposed to still be a child. I don’t have a lot of friends and the people I thought were my “best friends” have been ignoring me for an entire week now and I have no idea what I did to deserve it, nowadays I’ll just wonder around school thinking why nobody cares. I’m turning 16 in a week I’m not even having a party cause I don’t know who to invite or who’d actualy show up! I don’t think I’m depressed yet but I’m headed that way and damn fast too, but I won’t tell anyone because I’ll get sent to a shrink again and I have seen three difrent people for 4 years running after my mom’s divorces and all they always want to know is how I feel and they still never tell me what to do to get rid of this numb feeling inside.

    Wheww!! I feel so much beter, even though nobody might read this I just had to get everything of my chest and tell someone who listens, thank you so much for creating sites like these where people like me can just blow off steam…

  3. I know I might look like an atention seeker but that’s the last thing I want to achieve by posting all of my stuff for everyone to read(there’s a reason that I don’t use my name). I really just need a place or person that I can share EVERYTHING with, without the judgement that comes with it. I hope everyone gets help or finds what they are looking for wether it is more info or answers on tough questions! I wish you all the best of luck and, God bless!!!

  4. I’ve been battling depression off & on for the past few years too. Don’t really know exactly what brings it about, but when it comes it seems to last longer than other times each time. Could be from past failures,unaccomplished goals & expectations in life, & not just really knowing where to go from the now to get to the better. ;-/ … I read a post from Amanda, & I read when you stated about taking your life if it doesn’t get better. Amanda, I want to encourage you to give it to God. He is our maker, & the only one who can see us through any and everything. There were times I felt the same way, but in my quiet times I talk to God, & trust that things will eventually get better and be okay. The devil wants to make us all give up on life by looking at where we are now, but because we can’t see where we’re going or can go we just want to give up..but DON’T!!! You will make it & things will get better for you. Just have a talk with God, give it time and you’ll see. Be blessed everyone, and know that if you feel NOone loves you… GOD does, and He cares. :-).. <3.

  5. Hi,

    So I’m a 16 year old girl in high school and I have every single one of these symptoms. I guess it’s been happening for a long time now but I never really talked to anyone about it, I just kind of stick to myself(probably part of the depression). I wake up every morning and just ask myself “what good am I”, “what’s the point of my existence”. It’s gotten to the point where I just don’t go to school for days on end and no one seems to be suspicious about my behavior. I’ve just accepted my depression recently(recently as in a week ago). And still see no need to seek help. I have no motivation or confidence to continue my days, I usually spend them in bed when I should be in school. I’ve started to become self conscious about my appearance, and hate myself even more. I’ve stopped eating… I feel no desire to feed a body that doesn’t want to be here. I see no light on this side and often think about leaving it. I hate feeling this way. I don’t like spending time with my family very much so I try to make it look like I’m not hiding by going in the living room just to watch tv and talk to NO ONE. Almost everything irritates me. The sound of my little brother blowing his nose, the sound of my mom asking questions all the time. I just can’t cope. And school! My school is filled with soooo many ignorant and dirty people it make my depression worse because I’m forced to go there everyday and deal with those people. How do you expect a person with this problem to deal with such ignorance?. Exactly why I stopped going. Maybe I should seek some help. I don’t feel the confidence. There’s no point to me…

  6. I am a cured patient of depression and proud to be. I still have my relapses but I am strong. A lot of those things listed did apply to me, but I have a support system better then any counseling sessions I could ask for. I have my boyfriend, my sister who loves me like I’m her mother, my parents, friends. I’m much happier now that I have a support group. I suffered with depression for over 2 years and never told anyone. That was the worst mistake I have ever done in my life. Not telling someone results in making your life even more miserable then it seems. I self-harmed, drank until I passed out, snorted crushed pills to get any kind of high, starved myself from 2 meals a day or maybe didn’t eat for an entire day.
    The first step to being happy and filing that hole of emptiness is to talk to someone. Take it from someone who has suffered from depression and has SURVIVED it and is STILL surviving it (from time to time. Not every day). -Rosey

  7. how about no body is around you nobody seem to know you and no one wants, how about ur friends that never ask about u they always wait for u to ask about them how about most of the time u find ur self alone

  8. I know this is an old thread but i have all the symptoms..i feel down all the time, cant eat, i just sit in my house all day every day when im supposed to be at school, cant be bothered to wash for at least a few days at a time. No one understands and my family say im going to become agrophobic..i got forced to go out today and because i havent eaten properly in two days i felt really faint..i have tried to eat but i have no desire to eat normally and im starting to get headaches..i have no friends to speak of cos i dont bother to go to school anymore ans plus when i do i get bullied. I’m meant to be doing my yr 11 exams and wont do them because i get an intense fear of stepping into that hell hole..everyones always dissapointed in me and no one would virtually care if i died tommorow..

  9. I am 54 years old and I have suffered with depression & anxiety since my early teens. I was raised in a very dysfuctional home and both my parents were addicts – drinking and prescription drug abuse – I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 29 and had to be hospitalized. I remember it being such a relief when my illness was given a name – I didn’t cause this – it is a biological issue – our brains are wired differently – I still am under a doctors treatment and probably will be until the day I die but that’s ok – that’s what doctors are for – I am very blessed that my doctor is so open-minded and he actually lets me talk and he welcomes my suggestions for recovery – in the family department is a whole different story – I have a very very loving and supporting family but I still get the rolled eyes and the looks of “ok mom’s doing her “depression” thing – I know that i’m sometimes not pleasant to be around but I just wish I was allowed to feel the way I feel and not be so worried about what other people think. I find this and other websites so comforting because I know i’m not alone. I am a Christian and I love the Lord with all my heart & soul and I have seen Him take me from wanting to die to laying it at His feet and carrying on because He put me on this earth and it needs to be His decision when He takes me. Prayer is a wonderful thing and I also keep a journal – it helps me say what I need to and no one sees it but me- it has helped tremendously – I wish fellow mental illness warriors the best – hang in there – it does get better – do not be ashamed of getting treatment and you need to be sure you choose one that is going to work with you. peace & blessings to all <3

  10. I have a daughter that’s 16 doing drugs my oldest daughter hates me. I wish this loneliness I feel would go away I call my mom she says she’s there for me. But, when I call she sounds like she don’t want to hear me. Depression pills I’m on there not helping. I am full of anxiety and fear all the time why dont it go away

  11. I feel the same way described, evreyword. Ive taken so many anti-depressents with no help. ive lost all friends, no social life and the lonliness is unbearable. The only time I feel good is by self medicating with pain pills. I feel llike a loser, I have no job, nothing in life and no one understands why I cant just get past it. I want to give up.

  12. While I was reading this, I was checking off the mental checklist. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes to damn near everything. I can’t talk to anyone but maybe my Mom, and a friend that knows my problem. I’ve gone through two relationships cause he always says that he understands, but when I attempt to talk to him, he either cuts me off, changes the subject, or he’ll just sit there and do nothing, even when I attempt to get my emotions out. I’ve thought of suicide many times, but lately I’ve not have the energy to think of that. I attempt to do my homework, but it’s all boring to me, even if I know it. All I do is sit at my computer or lay in bed. On occasion I will ride my bike or talk to a friend or two. I’ve given up on most of my life.

  13. I dont even knw dat how i am if it is a curse or a punishment 4rom God or what bcos i hav no feeling 4 anything on dis earth again absolutely natin not even money,no relationship desire again, it pains a lot wen a friend say i want b a big bussiness man i look as if am abandoned i feel more sadness in me i pull myself in tins i use to cherish in life like watching a football match ,a movie,playing music,looks like a foolish thing to me

  14. I am so tired. I constantly feel suicidal. I have not been able to have children of my own as nobody wanted me when I was younger and my wife left me for someone who had better prospects.
    I’d like to die in my sleep.
    I can’t concentrate and am losing my job. At work I have been treated like a leper by my previous colleagues, who don’t talk to me any more. I feel hated and isolated. I have been off work in the past with depression but am now working full time.
    I spend most of my spare time on the couch watching TV.

  15. Even writing on this comment box seems so hard enough for me. I feel like lazy. Empty. My hopes for changing this kind of irresistible routine had been on its peaks then just by the time I’m doing it, I don’t know why, I just feel not continuing with it again. I’ve taken a huge bunches of personality and depression tests online every time I feel this way and still I don’t know why if it is between helping me to get through or even not, rather wasting my time. I’m tired of this episodes, it keeps repeating again and again.

  16. I didn’t understand what this feeling was. I’ve been listless a LOT. I think too much all of the time and when I talk to people I used to call my close friends I feel like I’ve become too harsh a person. Like I’ve changed dramatically since I’ve last talked to them. I get mad and sad at the drop of a hat and I pretty despise the world. I don’t know what to do really. I don’t like the idea of having to be on a type of medication to change this mentality. I don’t believe people when they talk about how good a person they think I am, but there has to be a way, right? A way to change how I think and act. Is there a way? Maybe the solutions we’re all looking for are similar in theme yet different in the execution. Maybe. Just a thought.

  17. I hate being an intelligent person.. because that was one of the things that made me depressed since about 13 years ago.. the worst thing to me is the fact that I only found out about depression a year ago.. and only recently I realized I might be really suffering from a depression. I’ve been ignoring my work lately and all I wanna do is laying hoping there will be a miraculuous thing happens to me.. I do think it’s better if I just go to hell, but the people who I love is what holding myself from commiting suicide. And up until now, I still believe in God and I’ve learnt to appreciate life.. and I appreciate it. But hell why am I facing all these circumstances.. what have I said or done wrong in the past that now I’m struggling with this damn stupid depression?!

  18. Most of the time I feel like I’m the only one who feels what I feel. And I feel terrible for being like this. I have a nearly 2 year old son and I sleep as much as I can until I have to do something for him. Everything is too much of an effort. If someone is around they can snap me out of it and I’m super mum . I love him more than anything. But I feel like shit because he’s dad gets up in the mornings while I sleep in. While I’m asleep I’m unaware that I’m being like this.. he tries to get me up and I get angry and tell him to leave me alone. Once I’m up I say sorry I help with things and we relax on the couch I fall back asleep. I don’t know why I’m so tired all the time! Then at night when I should be sleeping I’m either awake or just woke up and cant get back to sleep. There is no effort in my day to day life, i want to be happy and enjoy my life with my family. I love them more than anything in this world. I cant bring them down with me 🙁 i cant even go shopping anymore unless someone is with me and i dont even want to go still. Rent snd bills dont get paid because i cant leave the house like a normal person. This made me cry too, this explains me. I have put on more weight than i ever have in my whole entire life snd it makes it even worse for me. I feel for all of you, i really need help. Just dont know how to go about it and where to begin. Im so ashamed of myself!

  19. I would prefer being dead,life with depression is like no life,you feel all the time tired and usless,everything is meaningless and you know you cant be with anyone in relationship as u dont want to ruin someone else life.I regret i was born to be honest.

  20. I think I have always had depression. It only just got worse and worse. I have been on wellbutrin for depression and adderall for ADD since 2009. But the doc won’t up the dosage. I have kids at home so I try to be happy around them. All the things above apply to me. In the 90’s and early 2000’s I was able to keep the house ok. Now it is a complete mess. It is all I can do to do the needed laundry with 4 boys at home and work the night shift as a nurse. I hate to cook because I don’t want to eat but I force myself to for the kids, I cry all the time at everything, a commercial, a story someone tells me about someone, the news. My son is a senior and needs to do all this stuff to get into a university, in the US it costs a lot and is a lot to do and it’s overwhelming. My husband doesn’t understand me, he thinks I’m just lazy. Like it says above I try to do different things to help myself but nothing helps. I can barely sleep and I worry about everything. I never have enough money for anything. I feel so guilty for not walking the dogs even though they go out to play in the yard I should walk them, other people do. I am just so tired. It takes so much effort to take a shower, to even put on clothes. I try so hard to be a good mom. I don’t think the kids know I have any problem. Well my 17 year old must, he acts like he hates me. He never wants to be home, I work nights so must try to sleep during the days and he resents me for that. He hates how the house is always a mess. He asks me why the house can’t be like it was when he was little, and he is embarrassed to have friends over. My oldest son lives with my parents because he is an adult and drug addict and cannot be around his siblings because he is drunk or high etc. I feel like such a failure with him, doc says he had depression to, that’s why he self medicated, I was taking him to a counselor but nothing helped and then he got addicted to drugs and alcohol and he is always trying to be in recovery. this makes me very depressed too. I don’t see a way out. Meds don’t work, the doc won’t up my dosage or change the meds. They gave me trazedone for sleep but I’m afraid to take it because I know as a nurse that wellbutrin, adderall and trazedone are not good to take all together, they increase the risk of seizures. No one understands, I don’t want to talk to any of my friends, or anyone beyond my children and who I have to talk to at work. It’s just to much effort. What can i do? I feel like there is no hope.

  21. I was depressed from last 3 years.ths pain has now become unbearable.this when i searched on google and reached this site.this symptoms are the exact things goin in my life.now my mind has started making thnking of suicide.when i cme 2 knw dat there is a solution for this prblm i made my mind to tell my mother.when i told her she started blaming me for excuses.nw m feelin dat i hve made d bigest mistake of my life..nw it got a step close for suicide..

    • I have depression and I need help my medication is not working and I’m fatigue all the time I can’t even do routine and its too hard to help my kids help

    • I’m 13 and I’ve got the hell of my life. Depression for the past 8 months wat to do? All fate

      Cure..
      Be carefree yolo…

      • Please talk to somebody. People are here to listen, my baby brother was 25 and took his life last week please know help is everywhere

  22. I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety in 1996 (in my early 30’s). Every several years the medication I’m taking stops working effectively. This is where I am now. I’m trying Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) along with med adjustment but I’m still miserable after 6 weeks. That list above is my life now plus add side effects from new meds. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to feel good and positive again.

    • I feel like that to i have had depression what i turned 21 and now am 35 i have been on antydepression on and off but i dont not feel there work

      • Hey claire i have every symptom on that list as well. Its soul destroying add to how bad i was feeling my wife left me and went with another guy who now stays with her and my 3 kids 2weeks after breaking up. Sun is shining n om just sitting their no ontrest in anything. I get my kids at the weekend bit now im even struggling to have FUN with them i honestly dnt know the last time i laughed. Ive tried all those nasty anti sepressants and they do not work.

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