How Depression May Affect Your Life

Image: Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton
Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton
    • Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
    • You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
    • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  • You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
  • You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
  • You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
  • You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
  • You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
  • You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
  • You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
  • You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
  • You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
  • You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.

I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.

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  1. It feel great to know im not alone.. its hard to explain. The need to be alone and not talk to anyone and you say to yourself im going to go places and be this happy, fun person.. but nothing. people think “oh just get out there and do things”.. do you have any idea how hard that is while feeling this way? omg its so hard.

  2. I’m only 18, & over the past 2 years, my life has been a nightmare. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety & depression. & have been to counseling several times. Why? Counseling only hurts me worse. I cry constantly. My stomach is constantly turning. I started my first job for a month & had to quit because my anxiety is so bad. I just don’t care anymore. I have good grades, but I haven’t been to school in 3 weeks. I can’t go. My stomach is so bad. I can’t go out to eat with family at my favorite restaurant. I can’t even take my dog, who means the world to me, out for a walk. I let myself go. I’m now 185 when I was 145 in 2013. I’m embarrassed. No one understands. Suicide feels like my last resort. But I can’t leave my dog. I can’t leave my family. I can’t put them through the pain of thinking it’s their fault. Sometimes I just wish the world would end & my pain would end with it. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

  3. Half of these symptoms are me. I used to enjoy a lot of things, now every time I try them I just feel like giving up. I feel so tired all the time. Staying positive doesn’t really help me. It’s a new year and I’m afraid I’m just gonna waste it like these past few years.

  4. I really relate to most of those things listed. Depression and anxiety really take you without you realising. The most important thing is to have awesome people around you to chat to and to pull you out of that black hole.

    I have friends who nag me to hang out with them. And if it weren’t for them, I would probably be crying in my room in my black hole.

    So even if you don’t have friends around you who understand, make friends online, or make friends where ever you are because you need those people in your life to pull you out.

    And another thing, who cares if you don’t feel like doing the daily things you normally do, do them later!! Most important thing is you get pulled out of your room, out of your house! You gotta see the beauty of the world!

  5. I just want to sleep literally all the time and force myself to be asleep. I don’t shower, brush my teeth. I’m in bed so much my body aches. I don’t pay my bills or leave the house. I don’t eat so I’m weak and shaky. I just want to be left alone. Everyone else seems normal, living life having friends. I have health issues, but can’t make the appointments much less show up. I’m on disability so I haven’t much money. I think about suicide a lot. I’m the worst depressed person ever. I feel like no one is as bad off as me.

    1. I have been feeling so ill.unable to shower for 3 weeks and hair wash nearly two weeks. Could not get out of bed feel so suicidal. Simply cant cope at all.

  6. I can relate to at least 70% of the depression indicaters. I’ve had depression for most of my life, I’m 53 now and depression has had a huge affect on me, lost jobs and careers, so many interests fallen by the wayside. Many mornings I feel like what’s the point of getting out of bed it’s just another day of pain and unhappiness. I take antidepressants and they help somewhat but I know from my history of alcohol and drugs I’ve been self medicating too. I don’t tell people because I’ve learned the hard way depression and mental illness are stigmatized in our society. I’m sure there are a lot people who can relate to me.

  7. I am 37 and single and my 3 kids are nearly all grown up now. I started renting a new house and have been trying to build the next stages of my life but Its so hard and I just cant work out why. All i feel is sick with nerves all the time. I cant motivate myself. I dread any kind of daily simple things like family dinners or shopping. Anything important I postpone as long as I can and it builds up to a point Where i cant sleep and feel paranoid then racked with fear. Why? What made me happy is not fun anymore. I constantly fear for my children, always feeling they are in danger and i feel guilty for all of this. Hiding What i have become is killing me inside and eating me up. I feel like Im dirt and bringing everyone down. Im tired of how scared I am. Im so alone.

    1. I am also 37 with 3 almost grown children. I feel alot of the way you feel only i have a bf that lives with me that wont help with anything and makes it worse. My job is horrible too! I will pray for you bc i know your pain

  8. I am every one of these. I’m 15 years old, and my Lyme disease relapsed so sports, working out, and horseback riding, the only things that actually make me feel good about myself, are all out of the question, at least until I am well again. I dread every day at school; my friends hate me now because I didn’t contact them once all summer and I just didn’t have the energy to keep up with them when school started again. My ex-bff who I was friends with for 10 years totally replaced me, and honestly I couldn’t care less but it hurts me because I know she told my other friends not to talk to me anymore. Only when she’s not at school do they acknowledge me. I feel so lost and out of place at school, I kinda have friends but I usually eat lunch alone and stuff because I’m too afraid to ask anyone to hang out. I wish I was invisible so that I didn’t have to talk to people. I have absolutely no desire to eat but my parents just force it down basically and the more they push it on me, the more I resent it. Even worse my dad says he’s disappointed in me because I’ve always been a smart kid and now I’m just thinking foolishly but I can’t help it.

  9. I have no friends, despite years, years, & years of trying. Being skinny didn’t make me happy, neither did having sex, making stuff, walking, exercising, spending time with parents, or watching movies.
    Haven’t had sex in years, and why bother? Been there, done that. Tried churches, clubs, groups—everyone’s busy outside that one hour, and an hour a week is not a friendship. I’m sick of everyone telling me all their shit within five minutes of meeting me. I’m sick of having to put in all the work with people. I’m sick of people telling me to just “keep putting myself out there”, yet those same people won’t have a fucking cip of coffee with me.
    I’m sick of being surrounded by aquaintences, none of whom want to be friends.
    I’m 36 & wish I were never born.

  10. Almost all of these are true about me and I didn’t even really know until I was doing a project for school and was looking this stuff up and then I started to cry because I noticed that I have depression so I got to looking farther into it and I found some tests to take so I took them and they said I have high or major depression and I don’t want to tell anybody because my dad already threatened to disown me when he found out that I cut and that scared me so bad that now I try not to show it to anybody and my now ex-best friend couldn’t even tell I was depressed or that I was self harming and that really hurt and then I noticed that she was one of the reasons so I told her I cant be her friend anymore because she could lead me to do much worse but now I have been 24 days clean and im so happy about that and I went to my cousin and he talked some sense into me and now im helping other people stop and that feels good to do.

  11. I just bawled my eyes out. I’m 17 yrs old and I’m depressed. And I have no idea why. I’m afraid. So afraid. I just want to be happy. God help me I want to be happy.

  12. Everything in my life has come to a head this week. All I have been hiding at work has come out, and now my husband and his entire family hate me for nearly ruining their business. I hated the job. I did it because I loved my husband, and I thought that was enough. For some reason, I just avoided most of my duties, just cruising by. Any major things that came across my desk made my heart palpatate, and I would jam them away – out of sight, out of mind. I lied, saying everthing with me and with the business was fine. It’s not. I don’t understand why I keep doing this crazy “ostrich” routine when work becomes difficult. The only thing that I can seem to do well is my children. I can get up with them, feed them, pack their lunches, and make sure they look good going out the door. After that, I have no energy or interest in anything. My husband is furious with me. His parents are convinced that I am just a lazy eff-up. I’m not. I want to succeed. I just hate the responsiblity that was put given to me with this job. I hate it. Every time I pull up to the building, I want to cry. Then I sit at my desk, avoiding anything that looks confusing or I know I would make some sort of mistake with. I want to be happy not just at home, but out there in the world too. I don’t know why I sabotaged the business, I don’t think it was intentional. Maybe I thought it would all just go away. My husband asked me tonight how I could live with myself. All I could tell him was I really don’t know how to.

  13. Yeah.. I am fully depressed. My moods are extreme. I act out in front of my 13 year old son and its starting to effect him. His grades are slipping and hes withdrawn. But going to call my doctor today because the ifs too much to bear.

  14. Hey I’ve been suffering depression for many months now, I’m 22 but when I was 16 I had it very bad. Crying everyday, feeling everyone would b better off without me etc. I intended to give my life away but when I left the house crying to my parents that I was sorry n that i loved them, they knew what was gonna happen so rang my friend n only for him i wouldnt b hee today. I used to lookat my life n say y me. Today even though I’m sufring the illness again I’ve realised one thing. Life is like a puzzled autobiography, the first chapter might seem perfect but as chapters go on u realise thers pieces missing, but as u approach new chapters u always find them missing pieces n u realise that life is the way its ment to be. U should have faith in god as our lord has our life’s planned out, see it through the end and u will find that laugh u thought u lost:, i hope the best for u all :), god bless

  15. The days seem so long to me I don’t cook I don’t clean and all I do is lie in bed now I can’t sleep at night’s because I do nothing in the day time I’ve been wearing the same clothes for two weeks now I can’t be bothered to change life is so boring and lonely

  16. Mostly all of these are true for me, except a couple. Only Im manic depressive, the kind where I am up and down in energy rapidly. I stay depressed for a few days usually 2-5 but will get a burst of energy & clean everything spotless. I have a line drawn where when my teeth are too fuzzy it’s time to brush them, my hair’s too greasy it’s time for a shower. Sometimes I cant leave the house cause I will not go out with greasy hair & it gets abnormally greasy very fast. Even if I want to go to the place I’m trying to leave the house for, getting out of bed into the shower is hard. I don’t even like going to get the mail sometimes, even though I do a lot of online shopping & there’s almost always a package in there. The mail man brought me my mail to my door today & they really didn’t have to, it’s just I hadn’t checked it for 4 days already & the box was full. The only things I manage to do are go to Church 3-4 times a weeks & things that are mandatory, as in appointments & I’m proud of that, even though it’s still hard. On the days I go to Church I’m all dressed up & I’m able to do things I want to. I’ve gotten better & it helps so so much that I have a dish washer now & also a crock pot. Sometimes its even hard to load the dish washer. I think I haven’t showered for 2 days now & I don’t stink yet but like I said my hair gets greasy fast & I want to go down the street to get dinner & do my laundry, but I need to clean my hair to go to the laundry room & I would just go do the laundry but I’m embarrassed of my greasy hair. I’m sure I’ll get an energy burst here soon, just waiting for it, but I don’t think today & Church is tomarrow, so I will definately get a shower before then. I got a new shirt in the mail I bought to match a skirt, so maybe the laundry doesn’t even have to be done today & I have plenty of food in the house. So maybe today is lay in bed & sulk day. Also I have a dillema lately where everything I wear isn’t good enough, or I wore this already this week I can’t wear it again. This just started happening, I didn’t care what I wore & had the same clothes for the last 2 years & now everything isn’t good enough & I have low self esteem & I get embarrassed cause I don’t like what I wear most days & some days I’m happy with what Im wearing cause I like that dress that matches those shoes or if I have to wear these shoes with this outfit Im self concious. Like I said my enery goes up & down, along with my happiness or approval of myself with my moods. Im trying to find new clothes, but its hard to find what I want & how I want it to fit. I also keep baking supplies on hand & when in an angry mood I will bake, but that’s a different story & has to do with my angry moods & baking soothes me. Right now I’m going to find an out fit for Church, get back into bed & have a shower early in the morning. When I go to Church I am less depressed & moody on those days, much less moody, I can come home in a good mood & clean. Or atleast come home in a good mood & get back into bed. Atleast I left the demons outside the church for 30 mins to 1 hour & that helps my entire day, Im a much nicer person.

  17. It feels like everyday is the same, I go to work come home cook dinner for my family, do housework, go to bed. My husband and I used to do so much together, now we have money worries and we hardly do anything. I am just existing. I miss my family, who are miles away. I want to go back to them. It just feels like everything is dark right now and I can’t see any light.

  18. Being made to feel worthless all the time by everyone in my life has conditioned me to believe that I’m an oddity, there’s something wrong with me because I can’t just lighten up or take a joke. Fact is these people are cruel, and I’m not alone.

    When I feel particularly hopeless, I’m glad I can find places like this for solidarity. We are not alone, and we are not invalid.

    Try to steal some contentment for yourself today, and I hope you can truly enjoy it.

  19. I feel totally alone I am overwhelmed by clutter and housework. My family are all dead I live with my cat. I have one good friend who has a boyfriend and I don’t see often. I’m 38 and don’t care what I look like. I spend all day lying in bed I feel suicidal

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