How Depression May Affect Your Life

Image: Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton
Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton
    • Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
    • You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
    • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  • You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
  • You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
  • You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
  • You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
  • You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
  • You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
  • You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
  • You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
  • You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
  • You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.

I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.

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256 Comments

  1. And school just sucks so bad… No matter how hard I try I still get bad grades because my school has a high percentile range.. I hate my school.. I’m very unhappy with my life.. I’m just a nobody.. I feel like im just some number and not important.. Sometimes I do wish that I don’t wake up in the morning so I won’t have to deal with life anymore.. I’d rather be in the hospital than here.. I am always unhappy and sad and anxious.. And my house is full of drama.. Whenever I do get happy for once in my life it’s always ruined by something.. I hate life.. I hate the economy, bills, taxes everything…

  2. I get so frustrated and angry at everything… I felt left out and I feel that my parents just don’t really care because they always are bringing up their past of how they had no help.. And that I should be the same.. I can’t stand my family., I don’t get a long with my siblings or parents half the time… I’m always tired it’s a struggle getting out if bed.. And when I do I get very irritated.. I don’t like school at all… No matter what I do I’m still a fail at everything., I’m just a screw up in life.. I have very low self esteem. I don’t like myself.. I was In the hospital once for depression and suicidal thoughts.. That didn’t help at all.,, it was the worse. I hate my life.. Life sucks…

  3. Atleast 2 days a week a get stuck in this horrible negative mindset, where i feel everything is pointless, nobody cares or appriciates me or anything i do. everyone is fake and nothing is real, and love doesnt exist. and the thoughts keep getting worse and worse, and there starting to happen more often. more then half of the time i go to sleep in hopes i dont wake up, because i cant see anything good happening in my future. everything is pointless and i feel like nobody around will understand, nobody takes me seriously. like my parents, they just tell me to grow up and get over myself. but i cant control it, if i could i would make these thoughts go away, i just cant. and im not making it up, they just dont understand.

  4. I feel as though my mind is a day behind the rest of the world.Simple things that are explained to me seem to be overwhelming and complicated. I can very easily distracted at any given moment and that frustrates me enormously.

  5. This is exactly what I’m going through but I keep telling myself everything is alright when I know its not. I don’t know what to do anymore I have two daughters and that’s the only reason why I’m still a live.

  6. I’m 16 years old and I’ve been depressed almost all my life.
    My real dad was an alcoholic and verbally abused me to no extent.
    9 years old I went through a horrible divorce where my dad committed adultery and my mom had a worse childhood and she compares my lonely effortless life to hers.
    I distrust men and Im triggered to cry at all points that are not even relevant in ones life.
    I try everything except drugs and alcohol to try and escape and it’s not enough bc I comes around and I have consequences. I’ve tried talking to my mom but she doesn’t believe that I need help. I’ve considered suicide but not meaning to the images just cycle through me and I don’t want them.
    I’ve grown to my boyfriend and he’s the real happiness I’ve got but my mom thinks that I’ve become to close and there’s no me left. And that I’m a selfish girl bc I won’t do chores that I didn’t make. I really want to move on from here and not come back but a year and a half let is making it hard to go on.

  7. I’ve had my fair share, when the sun went down, on my way home all i’m thinking is death,death,death. how I wished that the car would crash then all the pain would gone, how I wished that I’m brave enough to take enough pills. People were like miles miles away

  8. It seems like I wake up every day just hating my life but don’t get me wrong I do love my family with all my heart but it just don’t seem like it is enough to keep me going so I get up and take pills to get high off them because it seems that’s the only way I feel right it gives me a little happiness and it helps me make it through the day but I’m sick of taking pills all the time I just want to be my self again happy and out going but its hard when all’s you want to do is sleep all day or lay in bed and never get out and always feeling sorry for your self and its always the same stuff every day nothing changes so you tell your self what’s the point its just anger and pain there’s got to be something out there just one pill that will last. 24hrs so I can get back to my life happy and loving and just being awake and know my surrounding with out feeling paranoid is there any help before its to late

  9. For years , I thought I was alone until now. Depression is really is real. Depression, affects every aspect of your life. I am still struggling with depression and I am trying really hard to get out of it. Sometimes it feels like there is no way out nobody cares or understands. I wish everyone the best and God bless!

  10. Is it depression when you’re life legitimately sucks and everything seems to go wrong? I have ADHD and it’s practically destroyed my life. I’ve struggled so hard to concentrate and I’ve been able to fabricate a surface of success – but it means people just don’t see how far I’ve bottomed out.

    I’ve tried everything, but no matter what I do, I keep failing. It’s like I’m constantly pushing against that boulder and it’s rolling back on me. Every time I think I’m ahead, I promptly misstep. I just want to have some control over my life!

    My disposition used to be so sweet, but this constant failure has soured it. I just want to give up. I don’t have any more energy to struggle any more.

  11. I recently admitted to myself that I might have depression, so I looked for help with the counselor at my university. I’ve only had one meeting so far, but it’s helped tremendously. I don’t know if I want to take medications, because I’m afraid of the side-effects and the fact that medications aren’t natural, but I keep leaning towards taking them because I don’t want to feel this anymore. I don’t know if my friends understand, and I haven’t told my family, but… I’m doing this for me now and no one else. Seek help, for anyone who reads this and feels the same way. Please, seek help. Ignore that nasty voice in your head and the empty hole in your heart and just GO seek help. It will get better. 🙂

  12. My depression started years ago @ 27 with SLEEPING problems, then came anxiety, loss of appetite-panic attacks… until I committed myself. I was great for years on the right anti-depressants-sedatives & weight gaining, I might add but this past year until present is awful. I’m on so much sleeping medication and the only thing that helps along with my anti-depressants at high doses is klonopin. Is anyone else feeling so tired they can’t function? and absent minded. I literally lost my job due to tiredness, concentration and so forth. When I think things start to stabilize now that I’m unemployed I will all of a sudden get these episodes of extreme tired flu like tiredness-no coffee or caffeine brings you out of it. Sometimes it lasts for a couple days and sometimes 7 days, at least so far. What is wrong w/ me? I had all blood tests and everything is normal but I’m NOT normal. Does anyone else have the sleeping issues and episodes of extreme fatique Sickness like, they barely function, sensitive to light? Thanks for listening. Thank you, Dyan

  13. i thought my life was normal. it is when i’m not at home..i love being with my friends and my boyfriend, i love being at school, i’m 14 years old and everything is just getting too me, i am constantly tired no matter how much sleep ive had, i cant be bother to laugh, i just sit here and cry about everything, i cant stand my family, but they just dont understand the pain im going trough, im too scared to tell them, i know im deppresed! everyone at school always says to me ‘are you ok? you look sas/upsted/pissed off’. i would do anything to escape this pain. i feel like no one listens to me or wants me around, i cry when im home alone and do nothing else..my education is going down the drain because i can not be bother do pick up a pen, i live too far away from my boyfriend and friends i have to get lifts everywhere.i just want everything to be perfect but it seems it never will:/ i’d give anything. i just want my life back and not panick about EVERYTHING i have lost the energy to cry and i just lie on the floor for hours and don’t move, i have told no one about this, no body knows..eccept me. if you are going through the pain i am, keep smilling, every time you want to cry dont. just forget about it, go out and have a laugh with your mates, its horrible to be depressed i know. but dont give up, you are loved no matter how much your head is telling you your that your not, fight your depression, before it takes over you. :/

  14. What bugs me is when i tell my friend i was depressed at a certain time (and still am) she says “really, you seemed pretty happy to me”, i don’t understand how i seemed happy when i was just barely hanging on, i had lost my job, lost contact with friends, relationship was breaking down, i don’t go out anymore and suffering agoraphobia and bad anxiety, yes i have bouts where i am feeling more hopeful but then since the situation isn’t getting better i keep drifting in and out of it, it never goes and nothings changed much either but everyone seems to think after 5 year is must have, so i’m still depressed, home most of the time, i leave the house only ’cause i have to or when i have to. Can’t people realise that what they see is not the way it is, if i acted how i felt they would never speak to me again. No one thinks i’m depressed but my councellor has dianosed me with Panic Disorder, Depression, Agoraphobia and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, how could i not be depressed when dealing with this and living with parents that don’t mind if i don’t get better ’cause then i’m the live in cleaner, carer for when they get too old and will be doing everything for them since i am the only one living at home, i have siblings but they never offer to help me get through this, they’re having too much for to be bothered in anything other than their own lives. This really is the only reason i push myself to get better, though with lack of sleep i keep getting sick and can’t even do the stuff to get better, it’s an endless cycle, i’m getting all the help i need but feel everyone else wouldn’t care if i wasn’t ’cause they wouldn’t have to help me get there. No chance of getting a relationship either after breaking up with a guy because he didn’t want to admit the problems we had was what was causing this and had to change for things to get better. Sorry for the rant but that’s the reality for me i just hope it’s not many more years of this.

  15. Im 13, i honestly don’t know if im depressed. I have symptoms more than half of them. But all i really want to do is talk to someone about this situation. Im starting to find it hard to cope in school, and with all my work. My family really really annoy me sometimes and all i can ever do is just go up to my room and be on my own.. Im so grumpy and cheeky towards my little brother he always asks ”why are you up here on your own” i would always shout at him and say go away.

    I dont know whats wrong with me. but i feel worthless and hopeless its like no one appreciates me…… i feel like shit.. and i feel like i cant talk to anyone in confidence. i cant keep it to myself…,, I guess i have no choice

  16. Almost all of these are true for me also. I don’t have any friends, my family is small and we rarely ever get along (there is always drama!!). My mom and I dont really get along as much as we used to (we used to be each other’s shadow). Unfortunately, I was molested by my “step-dad” for 6-7 years when I was younger and kept quiet about it until about 3 years after he unexpectedly passed away (I only confessed that to 4 people though). I have guilt everyday in my mind about the biggest and even smallest things. I complain all the time. But yet, when my boyfriend of 1 1/2 wants to do something with me, I don’t ever want to. I don’t like hanging out anymore because I care way too much about what people think about me. I don’t have any changes with food, but I do have sleeping problems a lot. I don’t think about suicide, but I do think about my funeral often. (wondering who would even care to be there when I pass). I get daily headaches. I cry all the time, I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I dont even have to have a reason why when I cry. It’s uncontrollable sometimes. I never think I’m good enough. I am very self concious about the way I look, even my personality as well. I think I’m a boring person, and I am no fun to be around. I get annoyed by people very, very easily. I would rather be around animals all day than to be in the company of people. I am afraid all the time of my boyfriend leaving for someone better than me, I know he has to hate the way I am sometimes. I never keep a job for long, somehow I come home even more depressed than before I got it, and when I am unemployed I am depressed about not having a job! I don’t know my purpose here.

  17. I just came back two days ago from an eagerly anticipated week long holiday that me and a female friend had been looking forward to for months. I hate my job, I hate the rat race of full time work, I live in a sharehouse with 2 couples. Being single this doesn’t bother me, I think.

    On my trip I would mostly think about how quickly it would end and having to come home to all this. Even on the second day there. By the end it seemed like my friend who was the most easy going, caring person appeared to be sick of me. We haven’t spoken to each other since we got back.

    On top of that I came home to find my bedroom had been used as a storage room, they were moving furniture and decided to put stuff in there and leave it there. I’d also said that if people were over they could stay in my room, but what I also found was underwear on my side draw, two half full glasses (one of which was broken) and a whole lot of other stuff just left there. I just felt it was a rotten thing to come home to. Before I left I was really happy here, now I’m thinking I should leave and get my own place or something where people won’t bother me like this.

    I don’t want to talk to friends. I was annoyed that some people didn’t care how my trip was going when I would get in contact with them from up there.

    I feel like there is nothing to really convince me that any of my current friends will be friends for years to come. And that I’ll always be a wanderer.

    The up and down thing is getting to me so much. I was so happy the week before I left and now I feel so incredibly crappy.

    I don’t want a relationship, my last one screwed with my head too much and I just want to be selfish.

    I don’t want to take risks.

  18. Hi People ,

    Well have been despressed on and off for about 7 years now .

    I used to be on top of my game had a wife great looks good job and a couple of homes . We lived in England but now she lives in Canada with my little girl..:(

    Now I’m still in England homeless no job and in debt up to my eye bulls ££££££ ..

    I’m a manic and when on a high can just be out of control spending money like its paper ….

    I just fill like I’m burden on everyone ….My brain does not work anymore…In the morning I’m so low just want to stop living ….But don’t do it because I want to me daughter again …Just got my visa today and hoping to over and see them ….But no one knows how bad I have been in the last 1.5 years ….in the last two years I have moved 17 times and in total 37 times we had moved …..

    Just hope know one ends up like me I have know friends moved around to much …..

    Not that great at writing things down this has take me a 45 mins ….

    Have to get on flight soon next week … But hate flying as well now ……..

    I

  19. i feel so alone in life. I have the ability to help anyone with almost anything. have it be about friends, family, love, pain, or happiness..i don’t understand this. when i was 11 years old, a friend of mine-my best friend-died. His mother murdered both him, and his sister, along with commuting suicide. I still remember the next day at school. Everyone who knew this young boy was in the library. everyone was crying. i was in a group of 7 including myself. we were all like family, and actually we still kind of are. yes, we have grown apart significantly, but im sure we all have each others back’s if worse comes to worse. But anyway, all of my friends in this group were crying so hard; crying at the loss of their best friend. I did not cry..the thought didn’t even occur to me. i could think of one thing, and one thing only..help those whom i care about the most. so i did. i hugged them, and looked all of them straight in the eyes, and told them life is hard now, and this pain will never be forgotten, yet it will subside..it will get easier. And it has. I have rarely shed tears since that day. Although i am still young, i have knowledge beyond that of anyone else i know-be it older or younger. I guess the main point of telling this story, was to say: i do not understand why i can make anyone feel so much better yet, no one can make me happy..no one can make me feel better about this..THING, called life..i just need someone to hug, and and say to me the same thing i said so many years ago.. not crying is not something to praise or wish for; not crying is a curse..help me…please..

  20. why did god create me? a question that always come to my mind. i am angry all the time about stupid stuff, anger is divided upon the ones that i know & the ones that i don’t!. i runaway playing video games.. watching TV… i do not believe in love. i hate myself. . i ask myself why do some people still care about me i don’t think i deserve caring. and sometimes i feel its a lye no one really cares. materials do not satisfy me anymore. suicide comes to my mind even though i know i am not brave enough to do it. surely when i die the world will be a better place and every one will be better off especially the people closest to me. every one is fake including myself. i hate the society because its wrong. i hate my beard and i hate shaving it. when i see people smiling i always assume they are faking it. i rarely drink but when i do i cant stop.when i drink i always say hurting words. i hate waking up and i hate going to sleep.