How Depression May Affect Your Life

Image: Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton
Flaming June by Frederic Lord Leighton
    • Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
    • You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
    • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  • You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
  • You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
  • You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
  • You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
  • You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
  • You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
  • You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
  • You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
  • You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
  • You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.

I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.

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  1. I’m only fourteen, and I have a few of these symptoms. This has been
    going on for quite some time now, and I hope it’s just from anxiety. I
    know I don’t have the guts to commit suicide. But i’d do almost anything
    to feel normal again, and for this pain to go away.

  2. Im on week 3 of meds and no feeling of change so far, all the signs
    are there. No one should ever have to feel this pain that we suffer
    from. The ones that you care about the most get it just as bad having to
    deal with it.

  3. Some of these things matched to the point and others did not. I am
    horribly depressed but I don’t know if it’s “depression” but it will
    probably still kill me just the same. The hopelessness and the pain for
    months has become so unbearable and more and more keeps adding to it.
    Unfortunately, I am not avoiding friends, they are avoiding me. They are
    uncomfortable. I have tried over and over to say, I just need company
    sometimes or someone to vent to.

    What do I have if it’s not depression? D:

    1. Its OK people if u feel this way. I m a doctor just after my graduation I started preparing for Pg and during this period I fell into depression.. Everything was going my way but somehow I fell into depression… People don’t lose heart.. At the end of tunnel there is surely a light.. A beautiful one.. Every1 goes through tough times maybe in 1 way or other.. Some1 loses his legs
      . some1 his parentssome1 his children.. Every1 has their own share of happiness and sadness.. So let’s all be grateful to God even in these hardest times.. Surely they will pass too and 1 day you will be glad again.. Depression is like any other illness if cripples you but its not permanent.. Just stay safe keep safe..

  4. All of these are so true for me. I feel trapped in my life and
    guilty for seeking help. I have a son with special needs and others have
    to fulfill my responsibilities when I’m hospitalized. I get on meds,do
    okay for awhile and go downhill again. One day I’m cleaning my house
    from top to bottom, two days later I’m crying out a suicidal depression.
    I feel like it’s too inconvenient for others if I’m sick so I trudge
    on. But I can’t help thinking about suicide constantly.I don’t know what
    will happen to me.I’m on the outside looking in now.


  6. I’m constantly on the computer every time I get the chance. It’s on
    the minute I wake up and I’m on it until 1am the following morning.
    Sleep loss isn’t a great issue but I don’t bother trying to sleep until
    then. Reading this list I can see how I’ve let things slip over the
    past few months. Getting up showered in dressed in the morning is a
    reall effort In every room in the flat there’s something that needs
    doing. My appetite’s been effected – I can’t be bothered with breakfast
    and it may be 2pm before I realise I haven’t eaten properly. There are
    various other things too, like the procrastination, lack of
    concentration watching the telly. It took four years to get this
    diagnosed but now I can see a dim light at the end of the tunnel.

  7. Hi my names Chrystal i’m 18 years old, i have been living my life
    mostly with ‘mild depression’.
    for a while i was finding the depression a really hard thing to deal
    with in my life seeing as my mom had just died, and cocaine was
    introduced to me by some people at a party and every since i tried it i
    feel like i’ve been ‘off’ and not normal and feeling EXTEREMELY
    depressed and suicidal and even sometimes crazy.
    i’ve even gotten to the point in my life where music isn’t even helping
    to make me feel better, and my entire life feels like its falling down
    before my eyes.
    lately i’ve been talking to my close friends about it and hoping for
    some kind of magical anser about whats wrong with me that i know isn’t
    going to come, but i really need some serious advice on this..and if not
    maybe even someone who can relate to what i’ve said , and who has any
    ideas on how to improve this problem in my life because recently i’ve
    even started sleeping all day as well just because i constantly feel
    Anyone have any helpful ideas??

    1. Hi , I completely am o. The same spot as you, I can’t believe as I read your words it was describing myself I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety and tried to end my life ucountless times I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder. my ex boyfriend introduced me to crack cocaine 7 months ago that I’ve become addicted too and niw am in a full fledged makes me feel great tge first 10 seconds then I get anxiety and depressed.I’m ready to seek help. I live alone with no family except my dad who lives on long island. I wanted to know how you are doing now? I shared all thus so you not feel so alone in your struggle. Please message me back.

      Thanks, loren

  8. i feel so lost in my life i have a wonderful beautiful wife a
    wonderful daughter but thats really the only thing i have if i lose them
    im done i have nothing else in my life there the only things keeping me
    from killing myself as long as i can remember ive been lost with
    nothing to really hold on too ive tried everything to stablize my life i
    even joined the army which so far has been fuel for the fire im so
    stressed out i cant do anything right some of the most simplest tasks i
    cant get right its so stupid i have no freinds at least no one i can
    talk to and you i cant simply talk about this with my wife i have to put
    on an ilusion show that i can be strong for her and my daughter she
    cant find a job right now im all they have i cant fail them but i dont
    no how much longer i can hold out

  9. I relate to almost everything here, minus the dressing poorly. Even
    then, it takes an effort to try to convince myself not to put on the
    baggy pants and jacket. I’ve tried to talk to my family about how i
    feel, but they are convinced i’m simply trying to make excuses for being
    “lazy.” It’s painful knowing that when they say, “we will always be
    there for you”, they really don’t mean it. So far, the only person i’ve
    been able to talk to is my best friend, and even then, she cannot help
    me feel less numb. I’ve decided that if things don’t change, I’ll be
    ending my life in January. I’m only fearful that the people who say they
    care will twist my act into something focused on them, when all i
    really wanted was someone to pay attention to how i feel.

  10. I relate to everything listed here. I try telling my boyfriend or my
    family or friends but no one ever seems to listen. I feel like most of
    this year I have been talking to a bunch of brick walls and im the only
    one who can see this problem. I seriously need help because i’m starting
    to slowly loose all the people I love. I just feel like dying would
    feel better sometimes and my boyfriend gets extreamly mad when i tell
    him these things. I just have no other choice but keep this all in.

  11. I didnt know that I was depressed. I thought depression was just
    feeling sad. I didn’t know all of the other symptoms that come along
    with it. I’m on meds now and I’m thinking alittle clearer but when I was
    in the deep depression I was so hopeless and I felt such a strong sense
    of guilt. I couldn’t stop thinking about suicide. I hated the whole
    world. I still feel this way but the medication makes me feel numb,
    enough so I don’t kill myself. I remember not even having enough energy
    to take a shower. I cried for days on end. I feelt like such a loser. I
    haven’t lived up to any of my expectations. I feel like no one
    understands. This disease has such a negative stigma. Other people just
    tell u to snap out of it. I hate that.

    1. I’m fourteen, and I just feel absolutely drained of everything. I just lay in bed and look at my wall and my minds just all over the place. I’m just so numb, and I’m used to the pain now.
      I have so many suicidal thoughts and it’s awful. I sit in my room on my own, none of my family hardly speak to me so I just sit in my room every night on my own. I used to be close to my parents, but now they both have different people in there life like there boyfriend/girlfriend, so I’m out the picture.
      I have good friends, and they always look out for me, but no one really bothers with me anymore no one really cares.
      I never thought in a million years I would be feeling like this.
      I told my mum how I was feeling and she took me to the doctors and my first councelling meeting is next week. But apparently they don’t even help. I just want to be happy again. I don’t exactly know why I’m depressed, everything’s fine in my life well I wouldn’t say everything but most things are, I just seem to sleep all the time to get the pain away.
      I used to be such a happy genuine girl and now im not, my grades have gotten really bad so I don’t see the point of trying anymore I honestly don’t.
      I just lay in bed everyday, some days Al go out with my friends but not a lot.
      I feel like there’s a monster inside of me and when I’m on my own it wakes up, when im with friends it goes and I forget about it because I’m not thinking about it . I can’t really explain how I feel it’s really hard to explain how you feel when you have depression it’s not something you can really explain I just feel like it’s a feeling of numbness and drained all the time.
      I don’t even want to be here anymore, but I’m trying to stay strong but no one will ever understand how hard it is to keep yourself alive for just more than one more day.. It’s so hard :'(

      1. I feel really scary about your is your treatment going on ? Are u taking medicine and psychotherapy or not ?don’t worry everything will be OK .trust on god and specially on your have many reason to love your self ,focus on them. I m greatly syphethise for depressed people because recently I have breakup because my lifepartener has depression .he decided to breakup because he thinks that he is not able to set life.but actually it is not like that , you have to live differently .hope you not take any decision like him .get well soon.and remember everything will be OK in the end,if it is not OK it is not the end…

      2. Damn I thought I was the only one that felt alright around friends but almost suicidal alone. Honestly I probably don’t know how you feel because we all feel different things but I feel like I have a pretty darn good guess. If you ever decide to kill yourself CALL 911 immediately! The hospital can help you. Trust me, its better than nothing. Also, don’t trust the ‘it will get better’ bullshit. It doesn’t unless you get help or help yourself. Also, does anyone else break down crying when a little thing happens like say, spilling a drink? Is it just me?

        1. No, it is definitely not just you. Aside from the condition of depression and all of the many facets that go along with the condition itself, life every day adds its own pressures. You have your period, you stopped your period, your sister is just diagnosed with breast cancer, you lost your closest friend of 28 years in an accidental fire, you can’t get a job because you can’t be reliable in your energy levels each day, your meds stop working, the generics are not the same, you have weeks of guinea pig experiences until you can get back on track, you have to go back to the name brand only now it is 55x more expensive, you just start to raise your head up and hit the donut hole at Christmas time and meds are 1000x more costly, you wait till the first of the year and nearly go suicidal with the withdrawal while waiting.

          Your SSD is based on income earned 30 years ago before your career ever took off. Now it is too late to have a career. You spend all your money on meds and therapy and psychiatrist visits. You were in shape all your life, but now cannot get back there because you are fighting evolution, which dictates that you get weight gain from both a slowed metabolism post menopause in addition to side effects of the medications. You have dependent children/parents/retired husband. You are the only one who cleans. It is all you do, but you cannot catch up because YOU have depression and have no help.

          You cannot keep up with technology and worry about predators stalking your kid on the social media. You worry your kid will have this. You worry that you are not grateful for the things that you should be grateful for but you cannot stop hating yourself long enough because everything you have tried has failed. You sneak chocolate at night for sweet comfort but you wake up 10lbs heaver every six weeks. You give it up and want to jump off a bridge.

          Yeah, if something spills, I sure as heck cry. For me it is usually it is cat pee outside the box because no one scooped in a week, and I’m up to my necktie in fur after vacuuming with 2 hepa filters and cleaning 4 air purifiers and their filters. I hang and array of lint rollers off a belt holder just to try and stop the fur from getting everywhere like between the keys on my computer and inside my clean bras. *sigh* Why DO I go on when I feel like I am being punished for making all the wrong decisions in life.

          Cuz you know there are those who have it worse. Therefore, you isolate yourself to avoid disappointing people and to make fewer mistakes but it is hard when you do not live alone. So yeah, crying is normal, whatever normal is. If anyone is unsure that they might have depression and think that they are experiencing some of these symptoms, track down a reliable doctor/therapist and find out. Many times talk therapy is all you will need. If you do have depression and you wait, chances are that the disease will recur and worsen. Early treatment can stave off, limit, and/or shorten depression. Furthermore, the likelihood of recurrence is lower to non-existent. Do not wait.

      3. Hi Mia,
        I’m very sorry for this bad period of life you are going through. I am 31 and have had depression as long as I can remember. I’m also going through a very hard time right now, I’m off work because of my depression, but it has been extra hard for me this time because I was being Harassed at work. I finally had gotten the strength to report the people that were Harassing me, but now that the investigation is on it has only made things harder for me. But I am writing this in hopes of helping you in anyway, my heart breaks hearing your story, as you are so young and it’s not right that you are experiencing this. I want you to know you are not by any means alone in your battle, I know it’s hard to believe right now. I really hope you’re Doctor helps you more than it sounds like he currently is. I am actually laying in bed right now to, I have no desire or strength to get out of bed, one thing I find helps for me is reading other people’s stories. Everyone is different, something that helps me may not help you. Please try and stay strong and not harm yourself!! You will find the right way to help your self, it will always be there but you will find ways to cope with it. Please feel free to talk to me anytime.
        I truly hope you will be okay. Take care. Tommy

      4. Hey I know exactly how you feel trust me I understand I used to be a very energetic girl and now I don’t get out bed unless I have to, I’m not sure who you are but know your not alone you have someone who loves you. I wish I could get to know you we could help each other through it stay strong. Things get better eventually.

      5. I kind of understand how your feeling. I feel like suicide all the time. I feel like non one would care if I lived or died. I had a bad childhood… And ever since I cry a lot. Whether it would be something small or big. Everyone thinks I’m a sook… Even my family and my Aunty. Which I think I am but it really hurts. When I cry at a friends place and my sister is thereshe always says; “Your SERIOUSLY crying?!” And it makes me feel depressed…. I don’t know if I am. In the middle of depression. My dad would usually abuse me if I didn’t do what he wanted. I’m only 10. If anyone is reading this. Am I despressed? I’ve been like this for years. Ever since I was little. Crying comes too easily for me. Sometimes I think it’s just because I’m just a kid. But I cry too much. Someone help

        1. That is horrible. No child should be abused but it is common unfortunately. Being sensitive is not a weakness. Crying yes there may be bad things happening to you. Maybe you can talk to a teacher about what’s going on. When you grow up you will see how strong you are and all that you leaned from surviving abuse. If you feel suicidal at all please talk to someone you trust a teacher or a friends parent please. Xoxo

      6. Nothing is worth suicide Mia. Nothing. Believe it or not life is precious. Though I am depressed I am glad that I am alive. But depression is only a temporary problem, suicide is a permanent solution. It isn’t worth it. I’ll be praying for you! We can make it!

      7. Mia, I really feel for you, it’s sounds lonely and terrifying. It sounds like you should spend as much time as possible with other people. Are you involved with your local church? I’m serious when I say there is hope if you come to faith in jesus. He came to save and to heal. I’m a 34 yr old with 3 kids and I’ve been a christian since age 9 and honestly life is much better with God around and he gives you so much hope and peace. I have been very down at times so I understand to some extent, especially after my last baby there (he’s 6 months). Knowing God cares and I can talk to him helps. He knows you and loves you. Don’t feel alone. I hope the counselling help too.

      8. Hello I’m sad and not interested in nothing. Cry everyday. Lost my job of one I been on 13 years. Dog was euthanized on my carelessness. Not interested in going to work. Have no social interested. Always hungry. Dislike myself right about now. I don’t know. I pray and talk to God every day. What’s going on

  12. There is comfort in nothing and nothing is found in comfort. My life
    has left me behind. Stranded in deep, unrelenting, black water. Taunted
    by would haves, could haves, and should haves. Leaving nothing but a
    trail of tattered and torn lives that joined me in calm waters, only to
    watch me be sucked out by the raging undertow of darkness. There are no
    answers for those who knock at my door or peer in my windows. They are
    better off not knowing because I have no capability of telling. The calm
    waters are deceptive…all trust lost. The search for innocence
    abandoned… Nothing left but to allow the currents to take me.

  13. I know one thing for sure if i dont get help im going to end it all,
    i just cant carry on like this.

    1. Mariana, get help NOW! Call a Dr. tmrw! Pick one online from your area. Whoever can see u the soonest. Tell them u are desperate!! There is help out there. Please do it.

  14. im not sure anymore about anything i can relate to some of them but i
    seem to have lost intrest in life it’s self

    1. i know exactly what you mean it feels as you dont really have a purpose you feel drained and careless

      1. How can you tell some one who thinks high of you that you think of your self as garbage and don’t find interest j. he things you use to love

        1. You say “I think of myself as garbage and I don’t find interest in the things I used to love.” They think highly of you, so who better could possibly support you.

    1. Leah, please tell your parents. If you see a Dr., they can prescribe anti-depressants. They can help you feel better; It may take a few a diff. meds. to find the right 1 for you or you may get help from the 1st Rx. PLEASE get help. I wish I had told my parents. God bless you.

  15. I read this above about how depression affects you. I feel this way
    about it all i can relate to each one.

    1. I too have almost every single one of these examples I am losing all hope I’m terrified of what the future my hold for me

      1. Future? We lose our loved ones. Our loved ones lose us. We get sick. We die. It’s all a very sick joke.

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