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Dolce Far Niente by John William Godward
Your place is a mess; laundry and dishes are piled up, mail is unopened, etc. (Assuming you usually stay on top of these things).
- You’ve been making excuses to friends why you can’t get together with them, or you’re telling them you’re “just too tired.”
- You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising, you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.
- You’re wearing mostly dark colors.
- You’re putting off things that need to be done: your car registration, taking that book back to the library, buying a birthday present for someone.
- You can’t remember the last time you laughed a real laugh.
- You don’t feel like you can handle your job anymore, even though nothing has changed so far as increased workload or responsibility.
- You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
- You’ve been to the doctor a lot recently, for things like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong. Or you have convinced yourself you have a life-threatening illness – AIDS or cancer or a tumor.
- You wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t go back to sleep. During the day you sleep a lot to escape from your life.
- It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
- Since you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing, you try a lot of different activities in the hopes that you can find something to occupy your time.
- You have no ability to imagine or conceive of your life even a few days ahead – no plans, no hopes. You can’t even be sure you’ll still be here.
- You wear the same clothes a few days in a row – choosing new ones is too much effort.
- You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
- You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
- On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
- You’ve lost interest in sex or even physical affection. Hugging someone doesn’t feel any different from leaning against a wall.
- You’re reading escapist books (fantasy, sci-fi, romance, mystery) with little effort, but anything more demanding mentally (the classics, reading for school) is too much effort.
- You’re avoiding talking to anyone to whom you have an obligation (your boss, friends who you’re ignoring).
- You’re watching TV constantly – lying on the couch or on/in your bed flicking the remote seems to be the most effort you can deal with.
- You hope you don’t run into anyone you know while you’re out. Not only is maintaining a normal conversation difficult, but you are sure they’ll notice something is wrong with you.
I hope these examples help to clarify things. Also see Reflections on Depression.
72 Comments
I feel inferior to everyone. I get weird perverted thoughts. I
trust n.o one and think I am in the devils world. all my friends are
dead and I want to be with them. I have no feelings, I observe my
world but feel nothing. When my mother tells me that she loves me; i do
not believe her. love for me is only a word; I can never feel it. My
intellect can state all I should be thankful about and be thankful.. but
I cannot feel glad or happy I know death will come but why wait??
i am so utterly alone and empty, depressed isnt really the right
word to describe me . i am 38 yrs old. i dont have a job and i havent
had one in over 8 yrs. i have no friends and i live with my parents. i
have never had a relationship with a woman, i have only had sex 3 times.
and not at all in 17 yrs. i cant describe the emptiness and
hopelessness i constantly feel. can somebody please help me? ive been
like this for so long, so much pain, please help me.
I am comforted, to some degree, knowing others feel this way too. I
also feel so low, so desparate. I am normally a very positive person
and continue to put on this front around others. This seems to make it
all the worse when I am alone because I feel like I am a fraud. I am
also waking up to a deep “ache” in my gut that just wont go away. And I
have no appetite. Have lost 35 pounds in four months. Ordinarily I
would have been thrilled to loose this weight. I gained this weight from
stress at work. But, for some reason I just don’t care.
The worst thing for me is reading this list of symptoms, finding
that it corresponds with my life, and not knowing whether it is just my
subconscious trying to convince me that I’m depressed when I’m not. I’m
afraid that others won’t take me seriously and will only see me as an
attention-seeker. I can’t tell anyone.
I dont know how to say this sametimes u cant explain how u feel its
not a nice feeling just feeling down sad and want to cry how can u let
go help me please cant take it
i think i may have it but theres no way i could or would allow
myself to let this win, my advice is to just stand up and fight back
when it attacks and never give up………..ever
I think I have depression. I’ve looked it up and I have more than
half of the symptoms. I am a fourteen year old girl and I have no one to
talk to about this. I can’t even ask my mom for a counselor. I think
about suicide often. I drink anytime I get the chance because it’s my
escape. I read books so I can escape reality and put myself in the
characters position. I always go for walks and go as far from home as I
can and don’t come back for hours… no one notices. I do this because I
heard a quote once… “some times you have to run away just to see who
cares enough to come after you.” …but no one ever does. I do think this
world would be better without me. All I ever do is hurt other people in
some way. I need help but I don’t know where to find it.
I dont want to tell my parents I’m depressed but I need help. I know
it will turn into a fight like everything else does. I just dont want
to deal with that, but I want to go to therapy or get medication or
something to make the numb go away.
I can related to some of the above points, does that mean I’m
depressed?
Why did my deepest depression hit while I was in college? The one
chance I have been giving to succeed is being washed down the drain
because I can’t make myself care about anything. On top of my failing
grades and horrible outlook, I have no money, and consequently no dates,
I wear the same 2 shirts and same pair of jeans every day…I just don’t
care (having barely enough money to eat on helps). Even if someone did
love me, I can’t provide a stable enough partnership. I am doomed to die
alone, bitter and unsatisfied. No matter where my life leads me, I feel
like I’ll never escape this mindset. The isolation is maddening.
I’m only 13 and I am depressed as hell, I can no longer taste food,
everything tastes bland. My friends and family are annoying, when they
didn’t know anything to make me mad. I’m very lazy, I don’t do any
activities on the weekend. It hurts to see other people smile, and mine
just seems so fake. It feels like I’m going under, underneath the thick
black cold waters were there is no light. I am careless on what I have
to lose. Everything seems off and it feels like the world is going too
slowly also I lose track of the days. Its hard for me to get out of bed
in the mornings.
i think depression is the worst thing you can have..people dont
understand what the pain is like they just say laugh and it goes
away.when you have a depression you just want to be like before u dont
evan remeber how it used to be when you were normal.
Some of these things matched to the point and others did not. I am
horribly depressed but I don’t know if it’s “depression” but it will
probably still kill me just the same. The hopelessness and the pain for
months has become so unbearable and more and more keeps adding to it.
Unfortunately, I am not avoiding friends, they are avoiding me. They are
uncomfortable. I have tried over and over to say, I just need company
sometimes or someone to vent to.
What do I have if it’s not depression? D:
Im on week 3 of meds and no feeling of change so far, all the signs
are there. No one should ever have to feel this pain that we suffer
from. The ones that you care about the most get it just as bad having to
deal with it.
I’m only fourteen, and I have a few of these symptoms. This has been
going on for quite some time now, and I hope it’s just from anxiety. I
know I don’t have the guts to commit suicide. But i’d do almost anything
to feel normal again, and for this pain to go away.
These criteria in general suits me. I don’t know that I am already
in this situation. I am running to grasp sth that is impossible…
People who haven’t suffered from depression don’t understand it. It
isn’t just about feeling sad; it changes how you handle everything in
your life. It affects everybody , and the above shows how depression can
affect you without even noticing.
All of these are so true for me. I feel trapped in my life and
guilty for seeking help. I have a son with special needs and others have
to fulfill my responsibilities when I’m hospitalized. I get on meds,do
okay for awhile and go downhill again. One day I’m cleaning my house
from top to bottom, two days later I’m crying out a suicidal depression.
I feel like it’s too inconvenient for others if I’m sick so I trudge
on. But I can’t help thinking about suicide constantly.I don’t know what
will happen to me.I’m on the outside looking in now.
I’m constantly on the computer every time I get the chance. It’s on
the minute I wake up and I’m on it until 1am the following morning.
Sleep loss isn’t a great issue but I don’t bother trying to sleep until
then. Reading this list I can see how I’ve let things slip over the
past few months. Getting up showered in dressed in the morning is a
reall effort In every room in the flat there’s something that needs
doing. My appetite’s been effected – I can’t be bothered with breakfast
and it may be 2pm before I realise I haven’t eaten properly. There are
various other things too, like the procrastination, lack of
concentration watching the telly. It took four years to get this
diagnosed but now I can see a dim light at the end of the tunnel.
I see me in alot of those things listed…its terrible walking thru
your life
numb.
I relate to everything listed here. I try telling my boyfriend or my
family or friends but no one ever seems to listen. I feel like most of
this year I have been talking to a bunch of brick walls and im the only
one who can see this problem. I seriously need help because i’m starting
to slowly loose all the people I love. I just feel like dying would
feel better sometimes and my boyfriend gets extreamly mad when i tell
him these things. I just have no other choice but keep this all in.
I relate to almost everything here, minus the dressing poorly. Even
then, it takes an effort to try to convince myself not to put on the
baggy pants and jacket. I’ve tried to talk to my family about how i
feel, but they are convinced i’m simply trying to make excuses for being
“lazy.” It’s painful knowing that when they say, “we will always be
there for you”, they really don’t mean it. So far, the only person i’ve
been able to talk to is my best friend, and even then, she cannot help
me feel less numb. I’ve decided that if things don’t change, I’ll be
ending my life in January. I’m only fearful that the people who say they
care will twist my act into something focused on them, when all i
really wanted was someone to pay attention to how i feel.
I am crying as I read it. Each part is so right, so so right.
A lot of these are true of me.
I didnt know that I was depressed. I thought depression was just
feeling sad. I didn’t know all of the other symptoms that come along
with it. I’m on meds now and I’m thinking alittle clearer but when I was
in the deep depression I was so hopeless and I felt such a strong sense
of guilt. I couldn’t stop thinking about suicide. I hated the whole
world. I still feel this way but the medication makes me feel numb,
enough so I don’t kill myself. I remember not even having enough energy
to take a shower. I cried for days on end. I feelt like such a loser. I
haven’t lived up to any of my expectations. I feel like no one
understands. This disease has such a negative stigma. Other people just
tell u to snap out of it. I hate that.
Hi my names Chrystal i’m 18 years old, i have been living my life
mostly with ‘mild depression’.
for a while i was finding the depression a really hard thing to deal
with in my life seeing as my mom had just died, and cocaine was
introduced to me by some people at a party and every since i tried it i
feel like i’ve been ‘off’ and not normal and feeling EXTEREMELY
depressed and suicidal and even sometimes crazy.
i’ve even gotten to the point in my life where music isn’t even helping
to make me feel better, and my entire life feels like its falling down
before my eyes.
lately i’ve been talking to my close friends about it and hoping for
some kind of magical anser about whats wrong with me that i know isn’t
going to come, but i really need some serious advice on this..and if not
maybe even someone who can relate to what i’ve said , and who has any
ideas on how to improve this problem in my life because recently i’ve
even started sleeping all day as well just because i constantly feel
tired.
Anyone have any helpful ideas??
Why can’t i get throught this?
i feel so lost in my life i have a wonderful beautiful wife a
wonderful daughter but thats really the only thing i have if i lose them
im done i have nothing else in my life there the only things keeping me
from killing myself as long as i can remember ive been lost with
nothing to really hold on too ive tried everything to stablize my life i
even joined the army which so far has been fuel for the fire im so
stressed out i cant do anything right some of the most simplest tasks i
cant get right its so stupid i have no freinds at least no one i can
talk to and you i cant simply talk about this with my wife i have to put
on an ilusion show that i can be strong for her and my daughter she
cant find a job right now im all they have i cant fail them but i dont
no how much longer i can hold out
I read this above about how depression affects you. I feel this way
about it all i can relate to each one.
i can relate to almost ALL of them and im
only 12. HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
im not sure anymore about anything i can relate to some of them but i
seem to have lost intrest in life it’s self
If you feel this way, get help..Don’t wait.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Even when I got suicidal I didn’t
really feel it was wrong..Well, I attempted suicide and it was wrong for
me to do it..and no one who was home tried to get help when it was
discovered..I have the liver failure now to show for it..and guess what,
i would have been better off if I had read the above..I did everything
there and more. Whatever you do, don’t expect anyone to help you at all
or even realize that you need help..They won’t. My family didn’t do
anything at all except complain..and this was not a routine or normal
way for me to live—this hit in 8 months..I’m still depressed and unable
to take medications due to the damage..Please get help for
yourself—don’t let your life slip away…
i simply give in.
I WENT THROUGH DEPRESSION 30YEARS AGO FOR THREE YEARS.VERY TOUGH LIFE TRYING TO RAISE YOUR KIDS AND PUTTING UP WITH AN ALCOHOLIC SPOUSE.I HAD ALL THE
SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION.I
DONT KNOW IF IT IS HEREDITARY,MY MOTHER ALSO GOES THROUGH DEPRESSIONS.I MADE A MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE,LEFT SOME OF MY SIBLINGS BEHIND AND WAS STRUCK WITH DEPRESSION AGAIN.RITE NOW IM OK ,BUT I
STILL GET WAVES OF DEPRESSION.
I know one thing for sure if i dont get help im going to end it all,
i just cant carry on like this.
There is comfort in nothing and nothing is found in comfort. My life
has left me behind. Stranded in deep, unrelenting, black water. Taunted
by would haves, could haves, and should haves. Leaving nothing but a
trail of tattered and torn lives that joined me in calm waters, only to
watch me be sucked out by the raging undertow of darkness. There are no
answers for those who knock at my door or peer in my windows. They are
better off not knowing because I have no capability of telling. The calm
waters are deceptive…all trust lost. The search for innocence
abandoned… Nothing left but to allow the currents to take me.
im 18 and A couple of months ago I found out that my aunt is my biological mom.i was living with her and then moved in with my dad cause it didn’t seem right at my aunts house. Ever since then I eat all the time even tho I’m full I just keep eating. I don’t want to do anything anymore. It’s a huge task just to get a shower. I cry all the time but when people are around I hold it back so they think nothing is wrong. I don’t go anywhere. I just Sit at home and watch tv or I’m on the computer. I can’t sleep at night. I’ll stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning fall asleep and don’t get up till around 3 in the afternoon. They want to help me but I just brush it off cause i don’t want to think something wrong. I just want my life the way it was…normal. I miss my friends and being happy. Does this mean I’m depressd?
i feel i have been somewhat depressed for about a year now but now its really bad that my longtime “friends” started a horrible rumor about me and constantly talk about me behind my back the only thing that has kept me alive is my family. much love to everyone seek hope
A few months ago I became what could be called enlightened where you basically unlock your mind at first I felt on top of the world it was amazing but the more and more I thought into things I couldnt think what actualy makes me happy not properly happy somethings are just slightly satisfying and eventually it just led to the thought that if nothing makes me happy what’s the point! I’ve been avoiding labeling myself as depressed even tho I clearly am I used to be way happier than most people and I still help other people and my friends love me which is probably what irritates me about them I wish I could be selfish but I’m just too nice. I’m trying to channel all this into creativity it’s just hard to focus on things but I want to ask this one thing to you all do you feel for more intelligent compared to everyone else and unapreashated because of it? X
every thing on the list relates to me, i have no friends, the ones i do have i avoid meeting.. I rarely go out, i hate seeing positive old school friends who are in uni and driving and living in there own houses, just makes me feel much worse, i dont work have no motivation to find work, dont get up b4 1pm most days and cant sleep at night.. I have no motivation, nothing to look forward to, nothing no plans, how depressing! Hope we all feel better soon! Xx
why did god create me? a question that always come to my mind. i am angry all the time about stupid stuff, anger is divided upon the ones that i know & the ones that i don’t!. i runaway playing video games.. watching TV… i do not believe in love. i hate myself. . i ask myself why do some people still care about me i don’t think i deserve caring. and sometimes i feel its a lye no one really cares. materials do not satisfy me anymore. suicide comes to my mind even though i know i am not brave enough to do it. surely when i die the world will be a better place and every one will be better off especially the people closest to me. every one is fake including myself. i hate the society because its wrong. i hate my beard and i hate shaving it. when i see people smiling i always assume they are faking it. i rarely drink but when i do i cant stop.when i drink i always say hurting words. i hate waking up and i hate going to sleep.
i feel so alone in life. I have the ability to help anyone with almost anything. have it be about friends, family, love, pain, or happiness..i don’t understand this. when i was 11 years old, a friend of mine-my best friend-died. His mother murdered both him, and his sister, along with commuting suicide. I still remember the next day at school. Everyone who knew this young boy was in the library. everyone was crying. i was in a group of 7 including myself. we were all like family, and actually we still kind of are. yes, we have grown apart significantly, but im sure we all have each others back’s if worse comes to worse. But anyway, all of my friends in this group were crying so hard; crying at the loss of their best friend. I did not cry..the thought didn’t even occur to me. i could think of one thing, and one thing only..help those whom i care about the most. so i did. i hugged them, and looked all of them straight in the eyes, and told them life is hard now, and this pain will never be forgotten, yet it will subside..it will get easier. And it has. I have rarely shed tears since that day. Although i am still young, i have knowledge beyond that of anyone else i know-be it older or younger. I guess the main point of telling this story, was to say: i do not understand why i can make anyone feel so much better yet, no one can make me happy..no one can make me feel better about this..THING, called life..i just need someone to hug, and and say to me the same thing i said so many years ago.. not crying is not something to praise or wish for; not crying is a curse..help me…please..
Hi People ,
Well have been despressed on and off for about 7 years now .
I used to be on top of my game had a wife great looks good job and a couple of homes . We lived in England but now she lives in Canada with my little girl..:(
Now I’m still in England homeless no job and in debt up to my eye bulls ££££££ ..
I’m a manic and when on a high can just be out of control spending money like its paper ….
I just fill like I’m burden on everyone ….My brain does not work anymore…In the morning I’m so low just want to stop living ….But don’t do it because I want to me daughter again …Just got my visa today and hoping to over and see them ….But no one knows how bad I have been in the last 1.5 years ….in the last two years I have moved 17 times and in total 37 times we had moved …..
Just hope know one ends up like me I have know friends moved around to much …..
Not that great at writing things down this has take me a 45 mins ….
Have to get on flight soon next week … But hate flying as well now ……..
I
I just came back two days ago from an eagerly anticipated week long holiday that me and a female friend had been looking forward to for months. I hate my job, I hate the rat race of full time work, I live in a sharehouse with 2 couples. Being single this doesn’t bother me, I think.
On my trip I would mostly think about how quickly it would end and having to come home to all this. Even on the second day there. By the end it seemed like my friend who was the most easy going, caring person appeared to be sick of me. We haven’t spoken to each other since we got back.
On top of that I came home to find my bedroom had been used as a storage room, they were moving furniture and decided to put stuff in there and leave it there. I’d also said that if people were over they could stay in my room, but what I also found was underwear on my side draw, two half full glasses (one of which was broken) and a whole lot of other stuff just left there. I just felt it was a rotten thing to come home to. Before I left I was really happy here, now I’m thinking I should leave and get my own place or something where people won’t bother me like this.
I don’t want to talk to friends. I was annoyed that some people didn’t care how my trip was going when I would get in contact with them from up there.
I feel like there is nothing to really convince me that any of my current friends will be friends for years to come. And that I’ll always be a wanderer.
The up and down thing is getting to me so much. I was so happy the week before I left and now I feel so incredibly crappy.
I don’t want a relationship, my last one screwed with my head too much and I just want to be selfish.
I don’t want to take risks.
Almost all of these are true for me also. I don’t have any friends, my family is small and we rarely ever get along (there is always drama!!). My mom and I dont really get along as much as we used to (we used to be each other’s shadow). Unfortunately, I was molested by my “step-dad” for 6-7 years when I was younger and kept quiet about it until about 3 years after he unexpectedly passed away (I only confessed that to 4 people though). I have guilt everyday in my mind about the biggest and even smallest things. I complain all the time. But yet, when my boyfriend of 1 1/2 wants to do something with me, I don’t ever want to. I don’t like hanging out anymore because I care way too much about what people think about me. I don’t have any changes with food, but I do have sleeping problems a lot. I don’t think about suicide, but I do think about my funeral often. (wondering who would even care to be there when I pass). I get daily headaches. I cry all the time, I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I dont even have to have a reason why when I cry. It’s uncontrollable sometimes. I never think I’m good enough. I am very self concious about the way I look, even my personality as well. I think I’m a boring person, and I am no fun to be around. I get annoyed by people very, very easily. I would rather be around animals all day than to be in the company of people. I am afraid all the time of my boyfriend leaving for someone better than me, I know he has to hate the way I am sometimes. I never keep a job for long, somehow I come home even more depressed than before I got it, and when I am unemployed I am depressed about not having a job! I don’t know my purpose here.
Im 13, i honestly don’t know if im depressed. I have symptoms more than half of them. But all i really want to do is talk to someone about this situation. Im starting to find it hard to cope in school, and with all my work. My family really really annoy me sometimes and all i can ever do is just go up to my room and be on my own.. Im so grumpy and cheeky towards my little brother he always asks ”why are you up here on your own” i would always shout at him and say go away.
I dont know whats wrong with me. but i feel worthless and hopeless its like no one appreciates me…… i feel like shit.. and i feel like i cant talk to anyone in confidence. i cant keep it to myself…,, I guess i have no choice
What bugs me is when i tell my friend i was depressed at a certain time (and still am) she says “really, you seemed pretty happy to me”, i don’t understand how i seemed happy when i was just barely hanging on, i had lost my job, lost contact with friends, relationship was breaking down, i don’t go out anymore and suffering agoraphobia and bad anxiety, yes i have bouts where i am feeling more hopeful but then since the situation isn’t getting better i keep drifting in and out of it, it never goes and nothings changed much either but everyone seems to think after 5 year is must have, so i’m still depressed, home most of the time, i leave the house only ’cause i have to or when i have to. Can’t people realise that what they see is not the way it is, if i acted how i felt they would never speak to me again. No one thinks i’m depressed but my councellor has dianosed me with Panic Disorder, Depression, Agoraphobia and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, how could i not be depressed when dealing with this and living with parents that don’t mind if i don’t get better ’cause then i’m the live in cleaner, carer for when they get too old and will be doing everything for them since i am the only one living at home, i have siblings but they never offer to help me get through this, they’re having too much for to be bothered in anything other than their own lives. This really is the only reason i push myself to get better, though with lack of sleep i keep getting sick and can’t even do the stuff to get better, it’s an endless cycle, i’m getting all the help i need but feel everyone else wouldn’t care if i wasn’t ’cause they wouldn’t have to help me get there. No chance of getting a relationship either after breaking up with a guy because he didn’t want to admit the problems we had was what was causing this and had to change for things to get better. Sorry for the rant but that’s the reality for me i just hope it’s not many more years of this.
i thought my life was normal. it is when i’m not at home..i love being with my friends and my boyfriend, i love being at school, i’m 14 years old and everything is just getting too me, i am constantly tired no matter how much sleep ive had, i cant be bother to laugh, i just sit here and cry about everything, i cant stand my family, but they just dont understand the pain im going trough, im too scared to tell them, i know im deppresed! everyone at school always says to me ‘are you ok? you look sas/upsted/pissed off’. i would do anything to escape this pain. i feel like no one listens to me or wants me around, i cry when im home alone and do nothing else..my education is going down the drain because i can not be bother do pick up a pen, i live too far away from my boyfriend and friends i have to get lifts everywhere.i just want everything to be perfect but it seems it never will:/ i’d give anything. i just want my life back and not panick about EVERYTHING i have lost the energy to cry and i just lie on the floor for hours and don’t move, i have told no one about this, no body knows..eccept me. if you are going through the pain i am, keep smilling, every time you want to cry dont. just forget about it, go out and have a laugh with your mates, its horrible to be depressed i know. but dont give up, you are loved no matter how much your head is telling you your that your not, fight your depression, before it takes over you. :/
My depression started years ago @ 27 with SLEEPING problems, then came anxiety, loss of appetite-panic attacks… until I committed myself. I was great for years on the right anti-depressants-sedatives & weight gaining, I might add but this past year until present is awful. I’m on so much sleeping medication and the only thing that helps along with my anti-depressants at high doses is klonopin. Is anyone else feeling so tired they can’t function? and absent minded. I literally lost my job due to tiredness, concentration and so forth. When I think things start to stabilize now that I’m unemployed I will all of a sudden get these episodes of extreme tired flu like tiredness-no coffee or caffeine brings you out of it. Sometimes it lasts for a couple days and sometimes 7 days, at least so far. What is wrong w/ me? I had all blood tests and everything is normal but I’m NOT normal. Does anyone else have the sleeping issues and episodes of extreme fatique Sickness like, they barely function, sensitive to light? Thanks for listening. Thank you, Dyan
I recently admitted to myself that I might have depression, so I looked for help with the counselor at my university. I’ve only had one meeting so far, but it’s helped tremendously. I don’t know if I want to take medications, because I’m afraid of the side-effects and the fact that medications aren’t natural, but I keep leaning towards taking them because I don’t want to feel this anymore. I don’t know if my friends understand, and I haven’t told my family, but… I’m doing this for me now and no one else. Seek help, for anyone who reads this and feels the same way. Please, seek help. Ignore that nasty voice in your head and the empty hole in your heart and just GO seek help. It will get better.
Is it depression when you’re life legitimately sucks and everything seems to go wrong? I have ADHD and it’s practically destroyed my life. I’ve struggled so hard to concentrate and I’ve been able to fabricate a surface of success – but it means people just don’t see how far I’ve bottomed out.
I’ve tried everything, but no matter what I do, I keep failing. It’s like I’m constantly pushing against that boulder and it’s rolling back on me. Every time I think I’m ahead, I promptly misstep. I just want to have some control over my life!
My disposition used to be so sweet, but this constant failure has soured it. I just want to give up. I don’t have any more energy to struggle any more.
For years , I thought I was alone until now. Depression is really is real. Depression, affects every aspect of your life. I am still struggling with depression and I am trying really hard to get out of it. Sometimes it feels like there is no way out nobody cares or understands. I wish everyone the best and God bless!
It seems like I wake up every day just hating my life but don’t get me wrong I do love my family with all my heart but it just don’t seem like it is enough to keep me going so I get up and take pills to get high off them because it seems that’s the only way I feel right it gives me a little happiness and it helps me make it through the day but I’m sick of taking pills all the time I just want to be my self again happy and out going but its hard when all’s you want to do is sleep all day or lay in bed and never get out and always feeling sorry for your self and its always the same stuff every day nothing changes so you tell your self what’s the point its just anger and pain there’s got to be something out there just one pill that will last. 24hrs so I can get back to my life happy and loving and just being awake and know my surrounding with out feeling paranoid is there any help before its to late
I’ve had my fair share, when the sun went down, on my way home all i’m thinking is death,death,death. how I wished that the car would crash then all the pain would gone, how I wished that I’m brave enough to take enough pills. People were like miles miles away
I’m 16 years old and I’ve been depressed almost all my life.
My real dad was an alcoholic and verbally abused me to no extent.
9 years old I went through a horrible divorce where my dad committed adultery and my mom had a worse childhood and she compares my lonely effortless life to hers.
I distrust men and Im triggered to cry at all points that are not even relevant in ones life.
I try everything except drugs and alcohol to try and escape and it’s not enough bc I comes around and I have consequences. I’ve tried talking to my mom but she doesn’t believe that I need help. I’ve considered suicide but not meaning to the images just cycle through me and I don’t want them.
I’ve grown to my boyfriend and he’s the real happiness I’ve got but my mom thinks that I’ve become to close and there’s no me left. And that I’m a selfish girl bc I won’t do chores that I didn’t make. I really want to move on from here and not come back but a year and a half let is making it hard to go on.
This is exactly what I’m going through but I keep telling myself everything is alright when I know its not. I don’t know what to do anymore I have two daughters and that’s the only reason why I’m still a live.
I feel as though my mind is a day behind the rest of the world.Simple things that are explained to me seem to be overwhelming and complicated. I can very easily distracted at any given moment and that frustrates me enormously.
Atleast 2 days a week a get stuck in this horrible negative mindset, where i feel everything is pointless, nobody cares or appriciates me or anything i do. everyone is fake and nothing is real, and love doesnt exist. and the thoughts keep getting worse and worse, and there starting to happen more often. more then half of the time i go to sleep in hopes i dont wake up, because i cant see anything good happening in my future. everything is pointless and i feel like nobody around will understand, nobody takes me seriously. like my parents, they just tell me to grow up and get over myself. but i cant control it, if i could i would make these thoughts go away, i just cant. and im not making it up, they just dont understand.
I get so frustrated and angry at everything… I felt left out and I feel that my parents just don’t really care because they always are bringing up their past of how they had no help.. And that I should be the same.. I can’t stand my family., I don’t get a long with my siblings or parents half the time… I’m always tired it’s a struggle getting out if bed.. And when I do I get very irritated.. I don’t like school at all… No matter what I do I’m still a fail at everything., I’m just a screw up in life.. I have very low self esteem. I don’t like myself.. I was In the hospital once for depression and suicidal thoughts.. That didn’t help at all.,, it was the worse. I hate my life.. Life sucks…
And school just sucks so bad… No matter how hard I try I still get bad grades because my school has a high percentile range.. I hate my school.. I’m very unhappy with my life.. I’m just a nobody.. I feel like im just some number and not important.. Sometimes I do wish that I don’t wake up in the morning so I won’t have to deal with life anymore.. I’d rather be in the hospital than here.. I am always unhappy and sad and anxious.. And my house is full of drama.. Whenever I do get happy for once in my life it’s always ruined by something.. I hate life.. I hate the economy, bills, taxes everything…
I feel this during the summer and I did for the beginning of the year last year at school but… I learned why I live for my friends! Maybe my family can’t except I know more about feelings, and think that they have it worst but my friends are always there I think when I go to high school I probably will go crazy again but not for another year. Theres
Hey, about 2 months ago I started feeling really ill constantly it was always on my mind night and day the only time it wasn’t was when I was asleep, I’ve been to the doctors and they say it’s ‘anxiety disorder’ but gradually everything in my life seems pointless and I worry about everything, everything feels doll, I don’t want to go anywhere but stay in bed all day, I’m constantly tired and more recently have seriously considered suicide I don’t know what to do, I’ve told my parents everything they just say I’m mental, I look at other people that are happy and all I do is wish that was me.. I’ve lost my appetite, I go for walks to get away but that just makes me think about everything even more.. I’m genuinely sick of living I prefer being asleep to being awake, the only time I’m relatively happy is when I’m wasted drunk. Please someone help, am i depressed? I’m almost at an end now :’(
Hi
I was just diagnosed with depression last week and my doctor has prescribed medication.
I reckon I’ve been struggling for about 8 years and thimnsg just got worse for me this year when my Mum died, not just cos she dies but the circumstances under which she fell ill in the first place..i blame myself for my part in this.
I saw a counsellor and that helped and i’ve made sure that work colleagues and some friends and family know.
All of you feeling this was need to relaise that you are a wonderful person being pushed down by all this and thzt person needs to be helped to fight thru it all to reveal the true wonderful you.
I know it’s hard but speak to one person who is not directly involved with you..a teacher, an older friend, older relative…you are worth the help that you need.
I wish you all the very best
Im was suffering from this crazy pain 24/7. I can’t think, If i think it will be about Crazyness. My mind is so random, Full of random music. Im not Crazy thoe. I can actually see myself But can’t help myself. I never went to the doctor.
There are a few things noted in the no so common signs that I can relate to….
since i had surgery in January my life has changed completely. i have not stayed in college for the full course because of being in the doctors or hospital all the time and since the surgery had not healed by November they suggested that i go back in for surgery. since the 7th of November I’ve become distant, angry, feel like my career aspirations have been taken away from me and i don’t want to spend no time with the family. all i want is to be healed and feel well ready for Christmas but in my state i have no hope.
Depression is making me loose my mind I am so unhappy the stress of everyday life has taken it toll on me. If it was not for my son I will not have a will to live. I don”t have anyone that I trust I wish I could be alone.I’ve been married for 15years and yet I am not married. This has only been one of my MANY mistakes that I have made in life.I am not really sure why the person I married married it was never about love and thats one of the most hurtful feelings. I am begging GOD to help me escape this life that I am living. to be so unhappy about everything has to mean that I am crazy it can’t be everyone around me HELP someone please HELP.
Completely unfocused lately with no direction; no real desire. Just want to get away from my life and be alone, be free. I get very irritated easily. Life just isn’t fun anymore. I don’t want to even go home at the end of the day.
Simple things can evoke a crying fit.
Am I slipping into a depression? Would chnging my life help?
when i read these pages i see again i am not alone. but it only makes me feel worse. not better. i got a dog hoping it would help me with focus. but it has only done so on a minor scale. i still oversleep. watch tv or play video games. i had sitting with my brain thoughts. at nite i have to take something to stop memories from flooding in. wondering when am i going to just be able to sleep again. when can i feel that good wiped out feeling you get. i am so lonely. my closest friend left me because he couldnt deal with my emotions any more. couldn’t predict how i would react and so he became afraid and angry. i tried to reconcile, but found myself angry at him for not trying to understand. now i hate me even more than i have before. i hate having this illness it has robbed me of most of my lifetime. i wish i could just die and be finally free. Finally Free!!!
I have a lot of these symptoms and I’m kind of glad that I am not alone. Is it normal if everyday of my life for the past few years that I wish I could go back in time to my younger years when life was perfect and I had no worries and none of these symptoms. I just wish I could go back……
My name is Stav Raz and I’m a filmmaker at UCLA Graduate program. I am writing to you because I was in love with a very depressed man. Through the relationship I realized that this depressed man was once a depressed child. It got me interested about childhood depression. While its taboo I believe it needs to be talked about and I really appreciate you guys writing about it.
I am currently making a short film about childhood depression and any help would be greatly appreciated! Here is a link to my project so you can take a look at it yourself. I really hope to shed some light on the dangers of it and make people aware that depression in children does exist.
Thank you for your time,
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1417594538/339020298?token=fa9ecff1
Okay so I’m 18 and probably ever since I was 13, 14 years old I have experienced every single symptom of depression, and since nothing has ever got any better, I still have it. It’s a very hard thing to shake, but I am finally going to a therapist after all theses years, now I feel nothing at all, and to me ,feeling no emotion is worse than feeling sad. I would rather feel something than feel nothing. I could only wish that I would someday feel happiness. That I could bring true joy and laughter into my life. Being depressed is no way to live a happy life. It only brings you down and forces you to accept it. It throws away your dreams and hurts your future. I wish there was something that I could do to make it go away, please help me..
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